Sorrows
by Female-Fighter
Summary: It was a rocky start. He never thought they would be friends, or better yet partners. Still, against the odds something clicked and fell into place. Now one can't imagine being without the other in work and in life. Why must life hold such sorrows?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Disclaimer-**I own nothing!**

"Who's that?" William stood with the other members on staff at the Grim Reaper Association, he had been in the middle of a debriefing before they got to work for the day when he was interrupted.  
>"That is our newest member. He is still in classes but top of his classmates so he'll be joining us from now on." Stepping away from the others he went to the newbie to introduce him to the others.<br>"Wasn't that other one top of his class too?" A few men laughed and shivered at the thought of who they spoke of. They all hoped he didn't pop up like he had a habit of doing.  
>"Well he doesn't seem as, hyper."<br>Looking over they all watched him talking to Will. He seemed nervous, almost a little shy.  
>"Everyone, this is Alan Humphries. Do me a favor and don't make him quit. I don't want any more overtime."<br>"Hello everyone, it's a pleasure to meet all of you." Looking around at the others he noticed one turned away. Something told him that he was someone that liked working alone and wasn't up to dealing with newbie's like him.  
>"Do us a favor and don't get killed out there. High marks don't mean shit out there" He watched him walk away to get to work, Alan noticed the others were watching him too, seeing what he did next. He couldn't let them think he was shy or a pushover just because he was new.<br>"I know that. I'm not stupid I know the risks that can occur, especially when faced with a demon."  
>"I'll believe it when I see it. Will, I'm heading out on assignment." Alan watched as he grabbed his death scythe and walked out. At least the others seemed friendly.<p>

"So what's your weapon of choice?" A few people walked with him to show him his desk.  
>"Garden slasher, Japanese style." It seemed they approved with his choice with their nods and hearing a few say "nice."<br>"So who was that guy? The one that just left? I get the feeling he doesn't like newbie's."  
>"Nah, that's just Eric for you. He's like that to everybody at first, give him some time."<br>"And a beer or two."  
>Everyone started laughing making it hard for Alan not to laugh with them. He had been nervous starting here at first, this job was so important in the world and Eric had been right, high marks meant nothing.<br>"Hiiii! What's everyone gathered around for I am over here!" A few guys quickly stepped aside as a high energy; high pitch voice came across the room. Alan just blinked at the face staring at him. Did he work here to? He had never seen such red hair before and he wasn't in a suit. He thought that was as mandatory as the glasses were.  
>"A new face? I'm Grell Sutcliff, you're cute. Though not as cute as my Sebby- darling."<br>"Sebby-darling? Who's that?"  
>"You're going to be sorry you asked that." Another death god sat on Alan's desk while Grell started talking passionately about this Sebastian.<br>"Does he work here?"  
>"This one, sadly he is one of us. The one they call Sebastian, no, he is a demon."<br>"He is in love with a demon?" He was taken off guard by that, how could anyone be in love with something as vile as a demon?  
>"Like I said, you don't want to ask."<br>He hadn't been here long but there were definitely some characters here.  
>"Grell! Enough, get back to work!"<br>"Oh Will! Did you miss me while I was away?" Seeing Will in the doorway he ran off to him leaving the others and allowing a sense of peace and quiet to fall over them. It looked like now he could officially start working. Knowing there was a ton of paperwork involved with this job he wanted to start as soon as possible. This is what he had always wanted to do. He wanted to help souls find their eternal rest and out of the hands of demons. He knew it from the moment he learned about the grim reaper that sent Maria Antoinette to hell and passed judgment onto Robin Hood. It was sad knowing he had retired and they wouldn't work together. It would have been such an honor to learn from him.

The next morning, Alan showed up on time with the others and just sat down when Will came in. "Alan Humphries, I am putting you on as support for an assignment. Eric Slingby you're in charge."  
>"Yes sir."<br>"Fine just don't slow me down newbie."  
>Heading out the doors they grabbed their death scythe's.<br>"So what's the assignment?"  
>"Standard soul collection. Most are that."<br>"It's Eric right?"  
>"Yea and I'm not giving you credit or anything for remembering. Will did just say it." Was he joking with him? It sure seemed like it, there was a humor in his voice and he seemed to be smiling.<br>"I know, but do I get points for trying?"  
>"Keep trying."<br>They did what was needed to head to living realm and on location of the assignment. Alan watched Eric in the corner of his eye trying to find a way to talk to him.  
>"Oh and do me a favor, don't be stupid and allow the humans to see your weapon."<br>"Of course but I didn't think they could,"  
>"Don't say you didn't think they could see us. We are Death Gods not some phantoms."<br>"Sorry, I wasn't sure. Basic training doesn't go into detail about that."  
>This was the first time Alan had ever been to the "human world" in school they showed pictures, and models, but you never went. He tried not to look around and slow down Eric but it was hard not to. Pictures didn't really do justice.<br>"So how long have you worked,"  
>"Small talk, really?"<br>"Sorry."  
>They walked a little further before Eric stopped them.<br>"Over there."  
>"What happened to them?" Alan stood frozen by the scene in front of them, so much bloodshed.<br>"Probably drugs. Humans are insane when it comes to things like that."  
>"But some are just children."<br>"It doesn't matter to them. Come on we have a job to do. I don't feel like staying late due to paperwork."  
>Saying nothing for fear of getting sick Alan just nodded and followed Eric to get started. A few were still alive, just barely but he could see their chests rising and falling.<br>"E…Eric." He wasn't sure he could do this, end their life like this.  
>"What are you doing Alan?" Eric brought his death scythe across two people allowing their cinematic records to play out for him and for him to decide where they went from here. Hearing metal hit the ground he noticed Alan had dropped his blade. He seemed distraught, newbie's, but he never met anyone who became this emotional. Was he crying? Finishing up where he was he went to Alan. Picking up his blade he thrust it to him while he brought his own blade across the ones Alan stared at.<br>"Pull yourself together. You can't cry, this is your _job_." Grabbing his sleeve jacket he pulled him back down the street to head back to the Society so he could drop the dead weight. He had more work he had to get done before the night was over.

Alan knew he messed up the other night, he knew what had happened was the reason Eric refused to be his partner again. It seemed he hadn't told anyone about his mental breakdown or that he started crying over the dead but seeing the looks he was given by him and the avoidance he didn't try to ask for forgiveness. He had gone out with a few other death gods and while he hadn't cried he did find it hard not to. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this job like he thought. Perhaps he should ask about being transferred to another department, one where he was no longer a reaper.  
>"Alan Humphries, Eric Slingby, I have an assignment for you." Alan looked up from the paperwork he was doing at his desk from the last assignment when he heard Will's voice. Taking a quick look over at Eric's desk he noticed he didn't look happy with his arrangement.<br>"Sir, perhaps Eric would be better off with someone more experienced."  
>"Do you not want the assignment Alan?"<br>"No sir, its fine, thank you." It was just this once; he could stay out of Eric's way and just focus on the assignment this once.  
>"Do some investigation on the disappearance of children near point seventy-two. Souls haven't been collected there recently though the dead keep adding up. Be on the look-out for demon activity."<br>"William! I don't think Alan is capable of this assignment!"  
>"Eric! This is my decision; Alan Humphries will support you on this assignment. If you need to question me you can stay here."<br>"No, it's fine." Slouching he took a deep breath before he stood up.  
>Standing he went to grab his weapon, he was not looking forward to his assignment, getting out of his current paperwork or not.<p>

"I'm sorry."  
>"What?" Eric was ahead, staying on the lookout while they tried to investigate what they had to.<br>"I'm sorry for what happened before, for how I acted, I messed up and failed to do my job."  
>"Just forget about it."<br>"Okay, I just,"  
>"I said forget about it! Look, how about this, complete this one without incident and I'll forget that ever happened alright?"<br>Hearing some sort of explosion and someone scream they ran towards it, weapons at the ready. They hoped this was what they were looking for. Coming into a field they saw a small cabin house in flames.  
>"Alan, look for victims!"<br>"Right!" Parting ways they made it around the area searching for anyone left. No point in letting them stay in agony. Alan stopped as he found a small boy, his body mostly burned, he seemed to have blown back from the explosion.  
>"Anything?" Eric met him behind the house still in awe over the flames, the humans would have one hell of a time with this one.<br>"Just a boy." He brought his weapon up and across, it was hard to watch but it had to be done. Watching his record he saw that the boy was innocent and hard working, he came here to see if someone could help his sick and dying mother. How tragic. At least he would be able to find heaven and hopefully peace. Even as a death god he had no idea what heaven was like. That was something only angels knew and most didn't trust them. As the record stopped both looked around hearing something roaring, it didn't sound like any animal they knew of.  
>"Demon?" Alan looked around him for any sign of danger.<br>"Sounds like it. Stay on your guard." Both got ready for anything while they searched around them, the demon had to be near, probably upset over losing its prey. Something caught Alan, Eric was in trouble. Turning to him he couldn't see anything but he could feel it. There! Across the field, it was coming up fast, he had to stop him before he reached Eric.  
>"No you don't!" Eric turned seeing Alan lunging for something heading straight for him. Jumping back he watched Alan's blade come up leading to a well placed front assault, perfect aim. The demon fell giving Alan the opening he needed to land the fatal blow. He took down a demon in two hits, that wasn't bad for a newbie, most higher ups couldn't do that, <em>he<em> couldn't do that.  
>"Are you alright Eric? Did you get hurt?"<br>'No, no I'm fine. Not bad newbie." Trying not to show how in awe he was fixed his voice.  
>"I should have done it with one shot I know but I was worried I would strike you too if I went wide."<br>"Yea, don't worry about it. You'll get there. This is your first mission after all."  
>"Yeah, you're right." He tried to smile at what he heard, Eric was proud of him; he forgave him for what happened before. That was great to hear.<br>"Come on we should head back and report what happened here. See if Will knows anymore about the case for us to use."  
>"Right."<br>As they headed back to the town Eric noticed Alan didn't seem as happy, or as perky as he should be right now. This mission had more or less been a success and a demon was dead, that was a good thing. They may not have found the other bodies but it was a good guess they never would, at least the disappearances would most likely stop.  
>"Wow, that's a scary face you're pulling, Alan."<br>"Yeah…the dead this time was still very young, he would have been able to fight for his dreams. _If you go to that place, you will die in an accident. _If only I had told him, so than he…"  
>They stopped as Eric could hear the emotion building in Alan's voice. Turning to him he saw he turned away so they weren't facing each other.<br>"Are you crying? Alan!"  
>Trying not to make eye contact with Eric he fixed his hair and turned away a little more. He didn't want Eric to get upset with him for crying again, he was just starting to possibly like him. His eyes went wide as something caught his attention.<br>"Flowers? Those are Ericas."  
>Following Alan's eye line he noticed the flowers off to the side, he had never seen Alan's eyes go so wide, and he never knew he had a thing for flowers. Actually he really didn't know much about him.<br>"Erica? That's what they are called?" He didn't know much about flowers but he owed it to his partner for saving his ass back there to care.  
>"Yes. In the language of flowers, it means solitude."<br>"Solitude?"  
>"People are always in solitude, from birth till the moment of death…I understand very well, no one should interfere with someone's death."<br>"You as a death god should not be so sentimental."  
>"Eh?" Turning he noticed Eric besides him staring at the flowers with him.<br>"What solitude? Aren't these flowers blooming splendidly? It might be that one is alone when born and when dying, but like these Ericas, there will always be other flowers blooming beside them, for all eternity."  
>He opened his mouth to say something only to be stopped as it was caught in his throat.<br>"Mister. Eric…you really like to act cool, huh?"  
>"You might want to try the same someday." Both started laughing as a breeze ran through them.<br>"The petals are soaring!" Again Alan was amazed as they swirled around him. "It's almost like snow."  
>"Yes, indeed." Looking over at the comfort on Alan's face he put a hand on his shoulder. He was glad to see he was feeling better, the somber mood had passed. He felt better as well making him feel better. He felt like he had to comfort him the best way he could, almost like an older brother would.<br>"What do you say we call it a day and get a drink?"  
>'Yeah, sounds good."<br>"And you know the rule right, newbie's pay."  
>"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a good thing I'm not a heavy drinker."<br>Together they walked back into town joking and laughing about stories about things they had learned on and off the job. Something told them this was the start of a great partnership.

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>So this is my first attempt at a Kuroshitsuji fic and I'm not sure about it. Leave some thoughts and suggestions for me. No flames though saying it sucks with no explanation why. I don't care to hear it. Thanks<br>~Femalefighter~


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

As Alan's eyes opened from a splitting headache and his alarm telling him he had to get up and go to work he decided he was never drinking again. No, let him re-phrase that, he was never drinking with Eric Slingby again. He told him he was sort of a light weight when it came to alcohol but he insisted they do three more rounds if shots after he had a couple beers. Forcing himself to sit up in bed he stumbled into the bathroom to take something for his headache. Will would have a fit if he went to work as hung over as he was. Thinking about it he had never been this hung over before. Why did he let Eric talk him into going out after their mission? Right, because Eric was finally talking to him and he didn't want to ruin their possible friendship. Taking his time showering and getting ready for work he waited for the aspirin to kick in, if only death gods couldn't get hung over. They could heal pretty fast and rarely got sick but hangovers weren't covered in that.

"Morning Alan." Eric walked in to the office with a few others in high spirits. Seeing him so hyper and with no sign of being hung over made him want to throw up.  
>"Morning Eric." He tried to ignore the fact that he was being stared at, he knew he looked like crap, he still felt like it too. Was that a smile on his face? Of course he would be enjoying this, what a bastard.<br>"Don't tell me you can't hold your alcohol? I thought you were stronger than that?"  
>"I can to hold my liquor but as I mentioned to you frequently I get hit by it fairly quickly."<br>"So your pretty hung over, ha, that's great!"  
>"Yea whatever."<br>Eric laughed all the way to his desk so he could get to work. Alan on the other hand tried to get the room from spinning so he could focus.

By noon he was feeling a little better making practice easier to deal with. Sparing had its advantages sure but he had never done well with a partner, a dummy, his classmates, fake weapons or not. Taking a shorter lunch he headed over the training room to warm up and shake his fears about training with anyone. He didn't want to seem weak in front of the others by not training with them but if he hurt them they would hate him, plus he didn't think he was that good. People watching him always made him nervous, what if his technique was wrong? He hated looking stupid in front of the others, god he hated being so self conscious. He just had to breath and concentrate he could do this. Feeling his weapon in his hand he spun it around, he loved feeling the cold metal hitting his fingers, it's weight felt welcome, he may have hated being judged by peers but once he was past that, once he was focused on the task at hand, the weapon, his death scythe took control of him. Not in a literally sense of course but he had noticed that when he was on assignment that was all he was focused on, he forgot he was partnered he was with someone. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he brought the blade up over his head with both hands, fixed his grip and opened his eyes while he exhaled; now he was ready. Lunging forward he took a swing at the dummy.  
>"What are you doing?" Hearing a voice behind him his body stopped just barely allowing him to keep his balance. Spinning around he saw Eric leaning against the training room's entrance. He hoped he wasn't red in the face from embarrassment of being caught, this was why he enjoyed training alone.<br>"H…have you been here long?"  
>"Why? Is that embarrassment in your cheeks? You are quite red right now. Reminds me of someone who gets caught with his hand down his pants."<br>"Mr. Eric!" His mouth dropped open at what his superior just said, they should be more serious and with less dirty minds.  
>"You know, you've only called me with a formal title twice now."<br>"I'm so sorry!" Realizing how disrespectful he had been he became even redder in the face, how could he have slipped up so much?  
>"Oh no, I actually prefer it, save the formality for Will." He couldn't keep himself from laughing watching Alan's face change so much. He loved watching this newbie interact with others he was as much fun as the TV. He may have only been here a little over a week but it had a great week, he tried to stay away from him over fear of laughing in his face. Pushing away from the wall he grabbed a dummy scythe and moved closer.<br>"Let's see what you got newbie. You want to kill with one blow right?"  
>"I don't know if that would be a good idea.'<br>"What, are you scared I'll hurt you?" Was he teasing him right now?  
>"No of course not."<br>"Then show me what you got." Alan barely moved out of the way as he dropped his own weapon for the fake one thrown at him, he really didn't want to do this.  
>"Don't dodge me, come after me. You need to practice your skills if you plan to improve."<br>"That's what I was planning to do before you showed up." Back flipping he dodged again, how could Eric be such a good fighter, he was just hacking at him with his weapon?  
>"You can only get so far alone."<br>Damn it he had a point and he wanted to get better, he wanted to become a death god like the one he admired. Fixing the weapon in his hands he dodged again before pushing off against the floor to go on the offensive. Just putting up a defense Eric missed Alan's attack, damn he was good.  
>"Too slow, try again."<br>Pulling away Alan fixed his weapon and footing while trying to find an opening.  
><em>*Breathe, I can do this*<em>  
>Trying again he brought his weapon up only to be blocked again.<p>

After two hours of training alone with Eric and with the others Alan was covered in sweat. He wasn't able to land a blow once. He got a few on some of the others sure but he made it his goal to land one on Eric. He refused to give up, he had to keep going to get better. Watching a few of the others he could see the gap between them, one that showed he was a newbie and inexperienced. That gap had to close, he refused to be considered dead weight to them or a liability.  
>"Alan, come on, take a break." Eric stopped heading towards the changing area when he noticed Alan still in the middle of the room. He was dedicated he would give him that much.<br>"I will in a little bit. I want to get a little more done before I call it a day I've already finished my work."  
>"Suit yourself." Shrugging at his decision he left him alone, he hadn't really worked long with him but he had a feeling telling him to stop was pointless. "Don't pass out, no one will probably come in here to check on you."<br>"I'll be fine but thanks for the heads up." Waving behind him he left Alan to his own devices. Now it was really time to practice all he learned today. If he practiced hard enough he could get it down before tomorrow and close the gap between him and them.

Eric walked down the hall looking for Alan since Will had an assignment for him. He figured he knew where he was, probably where he was during most of his free time anymore.  
>"Alan, your needed man." He watched as he stopped short, causing him to lose his footing and fall. Moving closer he noticed he was having trouble standing.<br>"Alan! Woah look at you!" Kneeling beside him he noticed he was covered in bruises, he wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't changed out of his work suit and into a muscle tee. He was really pushing himself here, it wouldn't surprise him he was trying to go past his limits.  
>"Can you stand?"<br>"I'm fine. Just tripped."  
>"You sure don't look it."<br>"I said I'm fine!"  
>"Okay."<br>Backing off he watched as he used his weapon to try and stand. Wincing he made it up, now he just had to walk.  
>"Where is your stuff?"<br>"Over there, but I got it don't worry about it. Can you tell William that I'm on my way?"  
>"Let me save you a few steps; let you catch your breath. Can I ask why you feel the need to push yourself so hard? You don't exactly suck." Grabbing his bag he walked back to hand Alan his work clothes.<br>"William thinks I'm good or whatever but I'm not, I have so much I need to learn. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on a level below everyone, even you." He used his shirt buttons as an excuse to not look at Eric while he told him the truth.  
>"But you're not. You're not bad you're new, of course there is a gap, you don't have the experience we have because you haven't been out there as long as we have. But you don't close that gap by doing drills until you're covered in bruises; you close it by going out there doing your job."<br>Alan didn't know what to say, he was taken off guard by what Eric told him. He didn't take him as the one that spoke so deeply, as someone so sedimental.  
>"Thanks, for that. I…it means a lot."<br>"Yea don't mention it. No seriously, don't mention it. I've got a reputation to uphold." Joking he stuffed his clothes in his bag while he finished up.  
>"Sure, no problem. I have a favor though, would you mind joining me in this mission William needs me for? I mean if you're not busy with your own work of course."<br>"You are my job. If you haven't already noticed I'm in charge of tutoring you on the field, unless of course it's my day off or my assignment is too hard for you."  
>"Oh. I didn't realize that before. I just figured it was because we worked well together."<br>Laughing they left the training area to find Will and hope he wasn't pissed for having to wait for them.

"You doing alright?" Eric walked beside Alan noticing he was sluggish tonight. Will had given them a pretty big assignment, a row of houses were on fire and it being the middle of the night there were souls that needed to collecting.  
>"We should have got you checked out before we left, get the staff at the infirmary to look you over and see if they couldn't get your body to actually heal. How did you get the bad anyway? Injuries don't really last that long you know?" Resting his scythe on his shoulder Alan knew he would sound stupid since he already yelled at him for his behavior.<br>"I, um, I haven't given them the chance to."  
>"Huh?<br>Alan stopped realizing Eric had, he seemed lost, trying to figure out what he meant and that he wasn't missing something. "How is that possible? That would mean you haven't stopped working out for at least four hours and that isn't practical. I mean you gotta sleep right? Shit. Alan, that's insane! Why would you put yourself through that?" Putting a hand on his shoulder he tried to find the reasoning for his logic. Sure he loved to get better just like the next death god but he knew his limits, he never went so far as to not rest and heal.  
>"I'm fine really, this is nothing. I'll heal up soon and I promise this won't affect my work, I won't be a distraction."<br>"Alan. Promise me you'll stop this self destructive behavior. We can train together if you want. As your mentor I want to see you improve. And come on, you've never been a distraction and we have been working together for how long now?"  
>Not wanting to sound stupid and not knowing what to say he started walking away, they did have a job to do after all. Eric watched him take a few steps before following. He didn't know what it was but something was drawn to him, he felt like he had to protect him, keep him safe. As if he was his younger brother and it was his duty to.<br>"Come on Eric, we've wasted enough time."

Eric walked up the street making sure they got everyone on the "to die list."  
>He had split the list in half with Alan to make it easier on both of them and that was the norm when an assignment was done with more than one person. He hadn't seen him lately; hopefully he hadn't done anything stupid. Checking a gap between two houses he saw him collecting a soul.<br>"Almost done?" Stepping over now dead bush he went to see if he was almost finished, he was up for a drink before calling it a night and dealing with the paperwork from this tomorrow. Looking up from making sure he wouldn't trip he saw Alan lower his weapon to the ground and lean against the scorched building. Taking a closer look he saw he was sweating, exhausted, he was really pushing himself to not collapse. This mission was over exerting his already tired body.  
>"Alan!" Running over to him he just made it before his face hit the dirt. "Hey Alan, wake up! Come on, don't pass out on me now." Wrapping his around the back of his neck he lifted him up so they could get him out of here. "Damn your light."<p>

Alan woke up in a panic realizing he was in bed, a bed he didn't remember going to. Last he remembered he was on a mission with Eric. Actually, looking around, this didn't look like his room. Where was he?  
>"About time you woke up." Hearing another voice in the room he jumped out of bed to face the intruder.<br>"Eric?"  
>"Who did you expect, you're in my house."<br>Relaxing his guard he took a look around, so this was Eric's bedroom, not as messy as he thought it would be.  
>"How did I get here?"<br>Sitting on the other side of his bed he kept his back to Alan as he undid his tie from around his neck.  
>"You collapsed on me during the mission. I brought you here when I realized I didn't know where your place was."<br>"Oh. You have my thanks than."  
>"Don't worry about it. How are you feeling?"<br>"Better. How long have I been here? You changed my clothes?" Looking down he noticed he wasn't in his suit anymore but in baggy sweats and a tee.  
>"You were covered in ash and I didn't need that over everything. My place isn't spotless but I try to keep it decent."<br>"Oh. Well thanks again for everything."  
>"Will thinks you are still working on the assignment. I didn't think you wanted him to know the truth."<br>"I appreciate it. He would probably be more than pissed at me for my actions since I could have ended up giving him more work. To pay you back, I'll change and then we'll grab dinner."  
>"It's a good start at paying me back. Showers yours, clothes are over there. Mine seem to be big on you." He pointed to the door where his suit was hanging, clean and fresh. And he had a point what he was in were baggy on him, the pants felt like they could fall if he moved around too much.<br>"I have a tab don't I?"  
>"I did say dinner was a good start. Steakhouse with the best booze."<br>"Sure thing and I'll, um, wash these for you to make it up for washing my suit."  
>"You know at the pace you're going you'll whole life will be indebted to me."<br>"Oh I hope not. Though, I'm probably going to have to make more money if I keep racking up debt."  
>Laughing he pointed Alan in the direction of the bathroom so he could shower and he could get out of his work attire. White and black or not as long as he wasn't in this morning attire he was happy.<p>

When they headed out Alan noticed a bed had been made on the couch. He felt bad that he made Eric sleep on the couch last night; he could have left him there instead so he could have his own bed. He really owed him a lot, he seemed to always be watching out for him and taking care of him. One day he would become as strong as he was so he could protect Eric. Yes, that was his goal, to become as good of a friend to Eric as he was to him, and to be a death god that was as good as his job as he was. It was time to let go of trying to be as good as one that was no longer in active service and become one that others could depend on and rely on to do his duty.

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>I hope everyone is enjoying this story so far. I know it seems slow but it should pick up speed. This is my first Kuroshitsuji story and I'm still getting a fee for everything since I feel it can't be told the same way some of my Ouran fics have been told. Please review and leave your thoughts. Thoughts make me happy.<br>~Femalefighter~


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

"Again. No still wrong, again, nope, again." Eric stood in the center of the training room drilling Alan who couldn't catch a break it seemed as he messed up again. He just wasn't grasping what Eric tried to teach him and he wasn't sure why.  
>"You're still much too wide in your attack. Watch. See like this not, like this."<br>"That's what I'm doing. My weapon is just longer than yours. I can't help it."  
>Stopping where he was Eric started laughing, that was unexpected.<br>"What's so funny? Oh, oh! Eric! God, can you not keep your mind in the gutter all the time?"  
>"Right, right, sorry. Got to admit, that was pretty funny though."<br>"Yea, sure, whatever." Still he found it impossible not to crack a smile. He had gotten use to Eric's sharp wit and odd sense of humor. They had been working together for a few months now, he better have gotten use to something by now.  
>"Enough chit-chat and let's get back to practice."<br>"Right." Swinging his blade in his hands he shook out whatever was stopping him be it doubt or inability.  
>"Now! Again!"<br>At Eric's command Alan went to strike the dummy.  
>"No! Alan, hands here!" Coming up in front he forced his hands into the position he wanted. "Like this, and swing more like this, you have a blade, not a hook. Now try again." Alan didn't see what difference his hands made but he followed Eric's instructions. He knew he didn't have a hook and he wasn't doing that.<br>"There! That's it."  
>Completing the motion he realized he was in a better position to attack again. Before he had to switch and move to prepare his next attack now he didn't have to.<br>"Was this what you meant by a slashing movement?"  
>"Yes, much better. You never want to give your opponent the chance to attack let alone the opening to. See how this closes you off more, strengthening your defense."<br>Eric was right about that, he felt stronger, more prepared for whatever happened next. His confidence boasted as well in this position.

"Ready here I come!" Grabbing his dummy scythe Eric jumped into the practice allowing them to spar. Alan had improved quite a lot these past few months. He was a quick learner he just needed more courage in his ability. He had the skills and the talent for it. He wasn't sure why he was so scared to show it, why he didn't have faith in himself. Watching Eric coming for him he got ready to defend, and then going on the offensive. Maybe it was only because he was getting used to sparing with him and he knew what to expect but his confidence felt stronger. Pushing off the wall he swung around Eric and found an opening, a small little gap in Eric's defense.  
>"Shit!"<br>"Got you!"  
>Eric stumbled as he felt Alan's dummy scythe hit the back of his leg, how did that happen? Alan held his footing after landing the attack. He did it, he actually landed an attack on Eric for the first time since they started working together.<br>"Ouch."  
>"Did I hurt you, I'm sorry." Worried about what he did he lowered his weapon to go check on him.<br>"Never lower your guard on the enemy." Coming around with his weapon Alan just missed Eric's attack.  
>"Yea but, I don't consider you the enemy."<br>"Oh?" Stopping his advance he waited to hear what Alan had to say about this. His partners innocence always got to him, made him smile and laugh.  
>"Well, I mean, the enemy are demons and you aren't a demon you're my friend, my partner."<br>"You should never say never. People can switch sides in a moment."  
>"Yea, but, still. I don't think I could ever consider you an enemy. You are one of the nicest people I know."<br>"You are still such a newbie. You remind me of a child sometimes you know that."  
>"Sorry."<p>

Moving to the wall he sat down and played with his plastic weapon handle. Seeing there seemed to be more than Alan wanted to talk about Eric slouched beside him so they could talk. He wasn't one for heavy conversation but he noticed since meeting Alan they talked a lot and got pretty deep too.  
>"Your way of thinking could end up getting you killed."<br>"I know that, and I'm not that naïve I know not to trust everyone; that they can back stab you but, I don't know, you don't take me as someone that would do that."  
>"I don't huh? What did I do to earn you such high marks?"<br>"Maybe it's from working with you for so long but I feel like you're misunderstood. That you appear cold at first because you're afraid of what may happen."  
>"You're something else kid you know that. I'm real that's all there is too it. I've seen people for who they really are. What about yourself though? You seem nervous whenever you're around people. I still remember when I first met you, you were so awkward, you still are."<br>"Yea well, I've never done well around crowds. I've always been awkward since I was a child I guess. For as long as I can remember I had trouble meeting people and making friends. I enjoyed reading and learning all day then running around with the kids around my age. They used to love to tease me because I would go to this park by my house and I would sit there for hours. This one time I found a bird that had been injured and I helped mend it and take care of it until it was healed. It used to eat out of my hand even after it was feeling better. It's not that I crave solitude it's just what I am used to."  
>"No siblings?"<br>"Only child. My father was killed when I was only a baby. He was a reaper and while on duty a demon killed him. My mother fell into a horrible depression from it. I made sure she took care of herself until a few years ago."  
>"What happened a few years ago? Did she come out of it?"<br>"Yes, she found peace. She committed suicide the year right before I joined the Death God society school."  
>"…I'm sorry. You had it pretty rough."<br>"Thank you but please don't feel sorry for me. I know that even though she died by her own hands she went to heaven where she is with my father. She was a kind and wonderful person, she yelled because she cared."  
>"I'm sure your right." He didn't want to tell him that he was probably wrong about her going to heaven all death gods knew suicide meant a trip to hell, only a few rare expectations were made and something told him Alan's mother wasn't one of them. Alan said she used to yell at him, why did he get the feeling it wasn't because she cared.<br>"So what's about you? What was your childhood like?"  
>"Mine? Well I was one of the cool ones I guess. Sports, getting down and dirty with the other guys I grew up with. I fell into this gig when I was unsure what I wanted to do with my life. I wasn't doing well in school; I got busted for partying and drinking under age quite a lot. I had nothing going for me. I was recruited here after I ended up nearly destroying my life thanks to my so called best friend. I was drunk and was trying to rob a place at gun point. If I hadn't be recruited to join the society or at least start their schooling I would probably be in jail by now."<br>"Oh…wow…"  
>"I guess your right about me having trouble trusting people. I grew up running with the wrong crowd and I have done things for people that I am not proud of because I thought we were "friends" and they had my back. Turns out I was the fall guy."<br>"Eric, I am so sorry. But I want you to know something. Maybe all that has happened to us is all good though. I want to think that thanks to the society we met."  
>"Yea, I guess so. Alan, am I your first friend?"<br>He tried to hide his bashful smile that was forming on his face but he was failing miserably.  
>"You are. And am I yours? Well your first true one anyway."<br>"…Yea. I guess you are."  
>"Then I guess you're right. We owe the society a lot it looks like since they gave us this opportunity."<br>"Don't tell Will that, he'll make us do overtime without the pay if we feel indebted to them." They laughed together as Alan joked around; Eric found it funnier that he took the words out of his mouth. It seemed the newbie was starting to grow.

"Congratulations Alan!" Startled by the stack of papers dropped on his desk he looked up from his work to see Eric on the other side.  
>"Huh?"<br>"Don't give me that. I heard you passed your exams, you are no longer a student."  
>"Oh, yea, thank you."<br>"So what's your plan to celebrate? Doing anything different?"  
>"Well after here I'm going over to pick up my certificate then I'm heading to the bookstore to pick up this new book that I ordered, then, I am going home it finish this paperwork and hopefully start the book before bed."<br>"You are so boring."  
>"Well sorry, I have no problem with it."<br>Not completely surprised by Alan's answer Eric leaned in closer.  
>"You're not going out to celebrate?"<br>"Even if I wanted to I couldn't. This stack here, due tomorrow and I haven't even touched the one Will gave me as a "graduation" gift."  
>"Then how about some help?"<br>"What?" Putting his pen down Alan made sure he heard Eric correctly. He had never offered to help him with his work before. Actually he knew Eric hated to do his own work and loved to procrastinate so why would he offer to help. What was he up too?  
>"What's the catch?"<br>"No catch. I just think you should celebrate a little. You only graduate once right. And consider it my graduation gift to you."  
>Thinking about it he realized that he could really use some help and it would be nice to celebrate. He was somewhat bummed that he couldn't really do anything since he had been looking forward to today for awhile now.<br>"Sure. I appreciate the help. Only I really can't go out but your more than welcome to come to my place, I can make dinner for us."  
>"Sounds good to me."<br>Grabbing the stack of papers he had to finish he left him alone so they could both get back to work, Alan smiled. It would be nice to not spend the night alone for once and this would be the first time Eric saw his place. Now he was really looking forward to tonight, the first time he brought a friend over to his place. He had never done this before, ever. It was a good thing he spent last night cleaning the place from top to bottom as he did every Tuesday night.

Alan was surprised that Eric decided to leave work with him and join him on his errands. He offered to skip the bookstore but Eric said it was cool with him he was in no rush. It was nice though to step out of the Dean's office with his certificate and see someone there for him. Eric was there with a congratulatory smile on his face. It was also once to have someone to walk with for once. He figured back at the office that he would just give Eric his address and they would meet up later but this was a lot better. Stepping out of the bookstore he was surprised to see Eric walking over to him holding a brown bag in his hand.  
>"Something to drink with dinner."<br>"Eric! I need to really get my work done."  
>"Relax, four beers is all I got, two each. You can handle that can't you."<br>"Well, alright then." They started walking to his place so they could think about dinner.  
>"Do you like chicken? I just remembered I don't have anything else."<br>"Alan. I eat practically anything. And I can make amazing mashed potatoes."  
>"You cook?" Who would have guessed, he figured he went out every night.<br>"I am no gourmet chief but I can hold my own in the kitchen."  
>"Oh well in that case my kitchen is all yours when we get there. I need to see the great Eric in action."<p>

He wasn't surprised, not really anyway. Walking into Alan's house he could see him living here. It was a ranch house like his own but it gave off more of a cozy, intimate feel. The wallpaper was a little darker and once some light was lit on it he could see almost see Alan reading curled up on the couch. This place reminded him of a library almost.  
>"What?"<br>Alan stood in the doorway between his living room and kitchen waiting for Eric's smartass comment about his place. He could tell he wanted to say something about it.  
>"Nothing."<br>"What."  
>"I was just going to say I like your place. It's nice, inviting, it's you."<br>"Oh. Thank you. Well make yourself at home." Putting his stuff done he walked into the kitchen to start dinner, he was starving. Eric followed him a moment later to help, he did offer to after all. Within a few minutes they were talking and laughing while they cooked together. Eric went quiet for a minute trying to catch his breath as he stirred a pot. He couldn't help himself from looking at Alan who was focused on his own task. So this was what it was like to have a real friend, one that he felt wouldn't stab him in the back, one he could actually do things with. It was a pretty good feeling. Alan tried his hardest not to have a stupid, happy smile on his face. He didn't want Eric to know he was more than happy and excited to have someone over his house. He always wanted to but never had anyone to ask.

"Here, try this. Prepare to be amazed." Eric handed Alan a plate with some of what he made. He was quite proud since it smelled great.  
>"Oh wow, this is fantastic. Where did you learn to cook?"<br>"I taught myself." Alan was never one to lie and that didn't change now, this was really good and he was blown away by the fact that Eric learned on his own.  
>"Your stuff is good too. You learned how to cook when you were still a kid right?"<br>"Yea. Recipes cards are pretty awesome."  
>The conversation slowed while they ate and cleaned up. Grabbing their second beers they walked into the living room with the paperwork they knew they had to get to. Both were surprised to know they were actually getting work done. They were talking but the conversation wasn't anything that changed their focus. Alan was excited to think he could probably finish all of the work much sooner than he originally thought thanks to Eric and possibly get some sleep before he had to do it all over again tomorrow. Taking a break for a second between what he finished and the next one he had to fill out Eric looked around the room from where he was sitting. It was covered in bookshelves, he wondered if Alan had even more somewhere else in the house. He wouldn't be surprised if he was right.<br>"Oh yea I forgot to ask, what book did you pick up from the store earlier?" Eric was surprised with himself that he forgot to ask before, he saw how excited Alan was to get it.  
>"Huh? Oh my book. It's a book on the human world. More of a history book than anything else. This one covers more of London's history than the other's countries, though I have those too. I figured it would be good since I am working in London mostly."<br>"Good call. So what's your favorite book?"  
>"My favorite? That's easy."<br>"Well?"  
>"Sorry. I can't tell you. It's one of those books that I love but everyone jokes about it because they don't see how amazing it truly is. Plus it really speaks to me you know."<br>"I understand. I have one of those too. Mine is called Daydream."  
>Alan sat up straight with his jaw open, that was what he was thinking of, no way. He never met anyone before that really liked it let alone read it.<br>"I read it, god, had to be right after I started training at the society. First one I ever read that I finished in a day."  
>"I read it when I was seven or around there. It was the first book I ever bought myself actually."<br>"Small world."  
>"I guess so."<br>Now it was Eric's turn to be surprised and amazed. Daydream wasn't an easy read for an adult let alone a seven year old. Alan was really something else.  
>"Did you ever read anything else by the author?"<br>"No, though I wanted to."  
>"Here." Alan stood up from the couch to go over to one of his bookcases. It only took a second to find the one he wanted. "Second favorite. You'll probably enjoy it too." Handing the copy to Eric he sat back down to get back to work.<br>"I'll let you know what I think once I'm done."  
>"I'll hold you too it."<br>Both had this warm feeling spread over them, it felt wonderful to be able to share something they loved with someone else. They had a feeling they would be getting together more and more as time moved on and they were completely okay and excited for it. Staring at the book Alan lent to him Eric couldn't wait to read it. He had never told anyone that he liked to read something deeper than the newspaper on occasion. The fact that he told Alan and knew he wasn't judging him strangely from it was great. He really enjoyed having a friend and one he could share hobbies and ideals with for once.

0o0o0o0o0o0

I'm going to keep this short so I can start the next chapter. I am really loving this story and I hope everyone reading this is too. Thoughts on things you may want to see are welcomed. Please review.  
>~Femalefighter~ <p>


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Eric punched in on time with a few other members to start the day. Not seeing Alan with them was strange, he was always on time. Perhaps he showed up early, crazy fool. He personally was up all night reading the book Alan lent to him. He wondered if he did the same with the one he picked up from the store last night. Though knowing him he still would manage to get up early and be here on time. Walking into the room with their desks he saw a few people coming in and getting settled yet Alan wasn't one of them. Perhaps Will needed him already? Sitting at his own desk he stared at the paperwork already waiting for him. Crap he also had to hand the monthly, end of the month; report in, he hated that report so much. It was long and detailed and just an overall pain. Hearing Grell he cringed, older than him or not he was a nuisance and no one could figure out how he still had a job here. It wasn't like he was any good at his job anyway, someone was always replacing him. Staring at the monthly report in front him he blocked out his whining superior and got to work. Waiting wouldn't help anything.

At lunch he stood up to stretch and grab some lunch. Looking over at Alan's spot he noticed it looked the same as this morning, empty and Alanless. Now he was starting to become worried. Since Alan first started working here he never called out and he saw him last night, he seemed fine. Heading down the hall he saw the door to Will's office open, good to know he wasn't in a meeting.  
>"Ah Eric, have that report for me?"<br>"Not yet. Have you seen Alan today? I find it strange he isn't here."  
>"Alan is out on an assignment for me. I had called him in a little earlier for it."<br>"Who did he go with?" It was strange that they hadn't gone together, they always had before.  
>"He has gone alone of course. Eric Slingby you should have already been aware of the fact that since Alan is no longer a student he is considered a fully fledged Death God and you are no longer in charge of mentoring him." That's right, he had forgotten about that. Alan had been the first one he had been in charge of in years. He would have to get used to him going out on his own now, Alan was strong he would do fine on his own. But still, he found it hard not to worry about him. What if he forgot to show him something or he was ambushed. More experienced Death Gods like himself knew how to handle certain situations like that but Alan may not be able to. No he couldn't worry about stuff like that, he had his own stuff to deal with, Alan would be fine on his own. He would though have to get used to being alone again. He had done it for so long before Alan arrived but now he was used to the company and enjoyed it. At least they could still talk at the office and it would give them an excuse to get drinks after work. He was still determined to build up Alan's tolerance to alcohol.<p>

The day seemed to drag with no one to talk to when he needed a break. Well, no one he could have a decent conversation with. Some of his co-workers were fun to watch though as they were terrified on getting on Will's bad side as Alan was. He could see why of course but that didn't make it any less amusing. He couldn't stop himself from worrying that everything was alright with Alan's mission. It was his first job and while Will wouldn't have given Alan something incredibly difficult he still felt someone should spot him, watch him from a distance so he wouldn't notice but make sure everything went well. It was funny that he was so worried, he had mentored others before and he was never as worried when they went on their first solo missions so why was he so worried about Alan? Probably because he was always so scared to mess up and in training he would hold back. Though, when they were on the field Alan seemed to become someone else. He wasn't as self-conscious. Yes, he would be fine and would probably be back soon.

The next morning his worry picked back up as he saw Alan was still listed as on assignment. He never heard of a first solo mission taking this long. Most solo missions were soul collection and that wasn't hard at all, not to mention it didn't take this long to complete.  
>"Hey Will, don't you think its strange Alan hasn't at least reported in yet?"<br>"Eric, I'm not sending you out there. I am confident in Alan Humphries abilities and sure he can handle himself. If you taught him properly than you have nothing to worry about." This was true and he knew that, yet, that really didn't calm him down too much. A part of him wished mentoring didn't end when one finished school or after a year of them working together, whichever came first. Alan could have had another six months of mentoring then. If he wasn't back by the end of the day he was going after him. He couldn't just sit by and wait the way Will was. If he got his work done he would leave sooner, perfect he would do that. It wasn't the best solution he could think of but it was better than nothing. Finishing up he heard a few people start to get loud, almost celebratory, looking up he saw Alan trying to make his way to his desk. It seemed the others were just as curious to see how it went for him as he was.  
>"Give him some air, jeez. You'd swear he was the first one to go on a mission before."<br>"Eric? Hey, did I miss anything?" Happy to be back and able to relax more than he had for the last two days he sat at his desk.  
>"So how did it go? Rare for an assignment to take more than a few hours when it's your first." Sitting on Alan's desk he did a once over while he waited for his answer. He looked alright, no cuts, no bruises, no sign he had stopped by the infirmary. He seemed exhausted but that was natural.<br>"It went well, without a problem. Will gave me a bunch of assignments though. The events were basically right after each other and around the same area so he said it was stupid for me to come back to go back out. I didn't mind but I have so much overtime from it."  
>"It better be paid."<br>"I hope, I could really use the extra money. So what did you do? Any assignments?"  
>"Nothing but paperwork. Sundry expense report was due yesterday."<br>"Oh crap! I completely forgot about that! I'm never going home."  
>"Cheer up Alan and welcome to the club of a full time employee." Eric couldn't stop himself from laughing watching his friends face change from panic, to worry, to realization of what he had had gotten into. "Relax Alan, I'll help you. We'll head to my place and I will help you with your reports." He looked over the stack of paperwork he knew weren't there an hour ago. Will had really gone overboard with cases for Alan. It was strange he had been given so many while he personally had nothing.<br>"You don't have to, though I really appreciate it."  
>"Good, oh and here you can have it back." Walking back over to his desk he picked up Alan's book and gave it back to him.<br>"Huh? Oh you finished it already? What did you think?"  
>"We'll talk about it later. If I were you I'd get to work."<br>"Right, sure thing."  
>Seeing Will walk in Eric left Alan alone before they both got yelled at for wasting company time. There was only a few hours left before they could leave anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal. Ever since the other night when they got together he wanted to do it again, sure he still loved to go out to a bar for drinks but staying in was cool too. It was strange how much he changed since Alan's arrival six months ago. Not that it was a big change and he personally felt the same it was just now he enjoyed doing more than just drinking after work until he was broke and plastered. With Alan around he felt he didn't have to look cool all the time, though at the same time he wanted to so he wouldn't look weak in front of him or the others.<p>

"Need a hand?" When they were finally able to leave Eric saw Alan trying to gather up his paperwork for the night. He really had a lot to do tonight, he felt bad that Will had given him so much basically two nights in a row while he had nothing for the past two days.  
>"No I've got it. Just give me a second and we can go." He no sooner got the words out of his mouth when the papers slipped from his hands and drifted around his desk. Letting out an exhale of air he knelt down to start to re-gather them. Seeing he really needed a hand but being too stubborn to ask Eric knelt down to help him.<br>"It's a good thing I live a little closer, you may not make it to your place."  
>"This could take up us all night, you don't have to help me if you don't want to."<br>"I offered didn't I."  
>"Well, I, I just don't want to be a bother."<br>"Alan." How many times would he have to tell him that he didn't consider him a bother and that's why he wanted to help. Alan was different from the others that he worked with before; it was something new and refreshing to the norm, not to mention he found it hard not to help the innocent face in front of him. If he met him on the street he probably would have never thought he was a reaper. Actually he still found it hard to believe, he seemed too pure, to big hearted for how grim the job was. It made sense as to why he used to cry during their assignments. Now he hoped he didn't have nightmares from it, he wouldn't be the first though. Nightmares were pretty common in this job and he wouldn't be the first to seek counseling or the offer to transfer to another department. As much as he worried about it he also didn't see it happening. Even if he had to step in he just saw Alan as being stronger than the others. Snapping out of his thoughts he felt something tugging at his hands. Looking up he saw Alan trying to take his papers back.  
>"I've got them don't worry about it. You're hands seem to be full."<br>"Are you sure? I can put them in something else."  
>"Don't worry about it." Making his point he gripped them tighter and started walking out forcing Alan to follow.<p>

"I never gave you the grand tour did I?"  
>"No, but you don't have to if you don't want to."<br>Rolling his eyes he couldn't get over how awkward he still was. Sure they hadn't been friends for years but they had to be over the awkwardness of hanging out and seeing where they lived.  
>"You can put your stuff right here and then follow me."<br>Not giving Alan the chance to object he got started showing him around. He knew it wasn't as neat as his was but he wasn't ashamed to show it off.  
>"Kitchen is here; always fully stocked I might add. The bathroom is here which you know as well as my bedroom. The living room is here and is my pride as you'll see."<br>Being welcomed into it Alan certainly saw what he was talking about. It held more than the other rooms, more places to relax, some by the fireplace some not, it was brighter than his place, as well as holding pictures of his past. Pictures were littered around the walls and on the fireplace mantle. He stopped as one caught his eye.  
>"Sister?" Alan didn't realize he was in the room alone until he heard Eric question him as he walked back in holding something for them to drink.<br>"What no beer? "He cracked a smile while he teased. "But, no, I asked if this was your sister. You seem really happy in the picture."  
>"She isn't my sister. No siblings, ex-girlfriend." Knocking the frame down to avoid staring at it he sat on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table.<br>"What happened? If you don't mind me asking?"  
>"We were together for seven years, grew up together. Ended up cheating on me with my best friend at the time. I'm pretty sure she became a whore, he went off to prison on charges I don't care to remember for what exactly and I joined the Death God Society. Knowing I spent seven years with her and I learned she cheated on me for six out of the seven years. I can't believe I did that but man the sex was good."<br>"Eric!"  
>"What? Don't like me talking about sex or that I will bash her without a second thought? That photo is kept so I remember I never want that again and is the perfect object to destroy when I am in a pissy mood." Seeing Alan starting to shy away he figured he was embarrassed about hearing his "superior" talk about his sex life, or what used to be his sex life. Something told him it wasn't just that though, that something else was making Alan blush. If he was nice he would drop it and have them talk about something else but he wasn't and now he was curious.<br>"Alan, are you still a virgin?"  
>"What?" Watching him start to panic in how the focus was on him and how the topic was so personal Eric got the answer along with more questions.<br>"Have you ever had a girlfriend at least?"  
>His face became redder and redder, he thought he was going to pass out.<br>"You've never had a girlfriend?" Part of him found it hard to believe, Alan wasn't what he would call ugly.  
>"No alright! I've never had a girlfriend; I've never been with anyone. I could never make friends so what made you think I could hold a relationship!"<br>"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset I was just curious." Why did he get the feeling it was a big deal for him to never have had at least once relationship?  
>"I've always wanted one, but, I don't know, maybe I'm too scared to try and get one."<br>"You'll probably find someone. I know a few people I could set you up with if you're interested."  
>"No thank you."<br>"With that attitude you'll never find anyone."  
>"Look, Eric, I appreciate your help but I'm fine on my own."<br>"Just throwing it out there. As you're superior I want to make sure you take care of yourself. Even though I'm not in charge of you anymore I like to keep tabs."  
>Sitting straight he tried to clear his head and stop blushing as badly as he was. His effort seemed wasted though as a thought came to mind. Why was he friends with Eric? Really, someone needed to explain this to him.<br>"Excuse my statement but are you trying to get me sleep with someone?"  
>Watching Eric sit back on the couch to slouch and relax with a huge grin on his face he knew he hit the jackpot.<br>"Eric!"  
>"What, I'm just saying, could be just what you need to break you from your shell."<br>"Can we not talk about this anymore? I really want to start my work so I can get home."  
>"Sure, sure. Whatever you want. Let me know when you're hungry so I can start dinner."<br>With things finally settling down Alan was happy to start looking at the mass of paperwork he dragged with him. He saw Eric out of the corner of his eye sit up to follow him into the kitchen where they left everything.

They had been working for a few hours before they saw how late it was. Both also noticed they were quite hungry; at least they had about half done. Another three hours or so and Alan's work would be completed.  
>"Huh, well this changes things."<br>Looking up from his work he saw Eric standing in front of the icebox.  
>"What's wrong?" Getting up to stand behind him he looked into it. "Fully stocked huh? Of what alcohol. Step aside." Squeezing in front of Eric he dug around to pull out a few things he could use to make something.<br>"What are you doing?"  
>"Making us dinner since I'll assume that's what you were planning on. Believe it or not I should be able to make sandwiches with this." Stepping aside he let Alan get to work while he watched and learned and got certain things he needed since he knew where they were. It only took a few minutes to prepare. While they sat back down to eat Alan wanted to bust Eric for saying he was a great cook, what a great liar with an inflated ego was more like it. He probably knew how to cook sure, what they made at his house was great but he probably just got lucky.<br>"I guess I have to go shopping tomorrow."  
>"I'd say. What would you have done if I hadn't come over?"<br>"Experiment, I would have now but if it didn't turn out well you might have been screwed."  
>Okay so maybe he wasn't such a liar. There was still so much about Eric he didn't know about and wanted to. Something about him intrigued him more so than anyone else he knew before. It might have also been the fact that Eric wanted to be friends with him, no one had ever wanted to before, they called him a bookworm and left it at that never caring to know more.<br>"What are you thinking about, Alan?"  
>"What? Oh just wondering what you thought about my book."<br>"Oh that, is there another book to it? I feel like it ended before the plot closed."  
>"There is, there are two more to it actually. I'll bring them to work if you want."<br>"Deal. By the way if we are swapping books." Leaving Alan he walked to his bedroom and came back throwing a book on the table beside him.  
>"Underground?"<br>"It's a little darker than Daydream, scratch that, it's a lot darker than Daydream but it's not all about bloodshed and violence."  
>"So not as intellectual, sounds good to me. I've read almost all the genres out there. I have my favorites but I don't read just one." Flipping through it he noticed it wasn't that large of a book and the front wasn't terrible. It would only take a few hours to get through he just needed the time.<br>"So what was up with, "Night's End" do they love each other or not."  
>"It's implied. I don't want to say too much if you're going to read the other two."<br>"Romance your favorite?"  
>"Not really. I really love any story that has a struggle whether it has love struggles or situation struggles."<br>"So anything with a plot basically?"  
>"Basically yea. Though I love history book too."<br>"Figured, you are such a nerd." Rubbing his head and messing up his hair he sat down to finish eating.  
>"Why do you always treat me like a little kid?"<br>Not getting an answer he just heard Eric laugh at him, unbelievable.

Looking up from the paperwork he was doing he heard papers ruffle and something heavy hit the table. Alan was asleep it looked like. Guess he was right in expecting him to sleepover. He didn't mind, it was late anyway.  
>"Hey Alan, why don't you go to bed?" Tapping him with a soft fist he saw he was out cold. He probably didn't sleep at all while he was on assignment and wasn't planning on it with all the paperwork due.<br>"And he wonders why I treat him like a kid." Pushing back his chair he stood up to lift him up and carry him to the back. It was stupid to leave him here as he was. Feeling evil he dropped him on the bed and watched as he didn't wake up but groaned looking for covers while getting comfortable on the bed. Undoing his jacket and tie contraception for him he hung them on the door before going to his own outfit so he could change. Taking a pillow he walked out to grab a blanket from the closet and threw them on the couch before heading back to the kitchen to finish the form he started before Alan fell asleep. Cleaning up he noticed Alan hadn't finished a few things as well, sitting back down he completed what needed to be done; two hours later he stretched and blew out the candles so he could pass out before his alarm went off in a few hours. He went back to bed happy knowing Alan could take it easy tomorrow and not feel so overwhelmed; something about seeing him calm brought a smile to his face.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope everyone had a good day even if they didn't have "that special someone". The day was a nice one for me and I spent it with my family (no bf). Hope everyone likes the chapter and hope to update again before the week is up though I am busy tomorrow so I probably won't get much writing done. Please review.  
>~Femalefighter~ <p>


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Rolling off the couch Eric tensed hearing something happening in his house. What time was it? What was going on? Standing up he walked towards his bedroom to see Alan rushing out fixing his shirt and freaky tie, he really needed to ask him what that was all about.  
>"Eric!"<br>"Whoa, where is the fire?"  
>"Did I sleepover, when did I fall asleep? Did you take me to the bed or did I go myself? I'm sorry."<br>"Alan, relax. It's too early for me to handle you having a panic attack." If Alan was going into freak out mode he needed coffee, or a beer, and it was much too early for a beer.  
>Moving past Eric he rushed into the kitchen to go through his papers to find the ones he had to finish, he really didn't remember falling asleep last night. Not to mention he would feel terrible if he walked into Eric's room and fell asleep on his bed thinking it was his own. He woke up to see he had wrapped himself up tightly in covers yet wasn't in his own room and that pillows were missing meaning Eric slept on the couch. Oh god, what if he had thrown him out of his own bed? And why did he really have no recollection of falling asleep, he wasn't drunk last night?<br>"Coffee or tea?" Trying to wake up and figure out how to handle Alan Eric walked into the kitchen to make coffee for himself. Opening the bag of coffee beans made his senses happy.  
>"I'm good, I need to finish and head home so I can change before I head to the office though if I don't leave soon I'll never get there in time."<br>"Huh?" Why would he have to head to his place? He was already dressed it looked like and if he wanted to shower he could just use the one here. "What are you looking for?" It was much too early to watch Alan run around looking for something. Was he this psychotic every morning?  
>"Did you happen to move any of my papers last night?"<br>"No. I finished them for you once you passed out and put them all together." Lighting his stove he got the tea pot on it so it could heat up, something told him he would need a lot of coffee today. Turning back around to Alan he noticed he had stopped moving.  
>"You. You finished my work for me? There must have still been a good bit, not even counting what you were doing for me. When did you get to bed?"<br>"Don't worry about it, you're work is completed isn't it?"  
>"Eric! While I wish you hadn't stayed up so late for me, I, I really appreciate it. Let me make it up to you somehow. For a start let's get breakfast. I know there is a bakery close to work, my treat."<br>"Sounds good to me." Hearing the water begin to boil behind him he turned shut it off and pour it into the cups.  
>"Sugar, milk?"<br>"Yes please." Adding both to Alan's mug he handed it to him before picking up his own and going to his bedroom to change.

Getting to work both chatted with a few of their co-workers before punching in for the day. Considering to odd morning they had dealt with they were surprised to know they got here early.  
>"Alan Humphries, do you have paperwork for me?" Everyone went stiff and panicked hearing Will come into the room. Alan opened the briefcase Eric let him borrow and pulled out everything.<br>"As you asked for sir, I hope it is all done to your satisfaction."  
>"Very good, I was right to place my faith in you. Keep up the good work. Ah and Eric Slingby come into my office."<br>Seeing Alan watching him in worry that something was wrong he shrugged at him while brushing it off. He knew this meeting was coming and had nothing to do with Alan. Leaving him in the hallway he followed Will to his office so they could get this over with. No sense in waiting and he wasn't as worried as he would have been a few months ago.

"Sit Eric we have a lot to discuss."  
>Taking the seat offered he waited for Will to get this meeting started. He knew his future here hung in the balance but he figured he would be more concerned.<br>"Six months ago I told you that if you didn't clean up your act you would be fired. At that point you had been handing in poor reports, your assignments were sloppy, not to mention your attitude was nothing to be proud of. Need I remind you of how you handled yourself outside of work and the poor reputation you were placing for all of us. This is to review your actions and discuss your future here with us."  
>Suddenly he was worried, the way Will was talking it sounded like he could still be fired. Yet he wasn't worried about how he would get by, he was worried for Alan. He was a hard worker that didn't know when to stop or say no, if he left would someone else watch over him the way he had?<br>"Soon after you were being monitored you were given the task of mentoring Alan Humphries and despite your restriction of no soul collecting you were allowed to accompany Alan on his missions as required as being his mentor. Is all of this correct?"  
>"It is."<br>"During the last six months I have carefully been observing your actions and have come to the conclusion that you are fit for active duty once again. This allows you to take assignments up once again, though do not think that you're job is safe. Should you fall again there will not be another chance to redeem yourself. You're a Death God and a superior to the others so act like it. You were allowed to work here believing your rough past would make you a strong and reliable asset but know under normal circumstances you never would have been allowed to join."  
>"I understand."<br>"Don't make the higher ups or myself regret this decision."  
>"Understood sir."<br>"This meeting is over than, you can get to work."  
>"Of course, thank you sir."<br>Standing he took his leave to head to his desk with the others. He was excited knowing he got to keep his job and it was all thanks to Alan. Had he not shown up when he did he probably wouldn't have had this outcome. Actually he was more than certain of it. He needed a way to thank him, only Alan had no clue that he had done anything so he couldn't just say thanks. Plus, he had never owed anyone so much before or ever so he wasn't sure what to do.

Alan looked up from the daily dead list to make sure their souls were collected and if not then he needed to inform Will so he could figure out why. He wasn't doing too well though in going over it, he was worried about Eric. He didn't seem fazed by it but Will seemed serious about their meeting. He got the feeling it wasn't for an assignment. Looking up as he had been every few minutes he saw Eric come in and sit down at his desk. He seemed to be in a good mood which was good to know. He was grateful for all the help Eric had given him but he didn't want him to get in trouble for it. If Will had gotten upset at Eric for his help or his work had slipped up then he would talk to Will and make sure everything was straightened out. When they were able to go to lunch he planned to see that everything was okay.

"Ready to go to lunch?" Alan walked over to Eric's desk to see if he was ready to take a break. They hadn't talked about it before but they usually ate together.  
>"Yea just give me another minute."<br>Waiting he straightened out some of the papers laying on Eric's desk so they were all even.  
>"OCD much?"<br>"Sorry. Just trying to help."  
>Alan was always trying to help though it seemed it was the other way around most times.<br>"All good, so what are you in the mood for?"  
>"Cafeteria is fine. So what did Will need you for before? Are you going on an assignment?"<br>"Oh, he just needed to discuss something with me and no, no assignment though I am hoping for one soon. I'm bored of being stuck here."  
>"Had I known I would have had Will give you some of mine from the other day."<br>"Thanks, but I don't think it would have done anything."  
>"Oh, why not?"<br>"Just trust me on that."  
>"But," seeing the look Eric was giving him he stopped pushing it. If Eric didn't want to talk about it then he wouldn't force him to but he wanted him to know that he could. Thinking about it, Eric never talked about his past, well, rarely anyway and without much detail when he did yet he loved to ask about his. Last he checked conversations worked both ways and he wasn't supposed to be so secretive about everything, well, not if they were really friends. He may not have had friends before so he didn't have too much knowledge on the subject but he learned enough from all the books he read. Enough for him to know Eric could talk to him more, it was the least he could do since he seemed to ask the most inappropriate questions to him. Thinking about that brought up what he asked him last night, if that had been pay back for asking about the picture then he was sorry he asked and would remember to keep his mouth shut.<p>

It felt strange that they hadn't said much during lunch so far. Usually Eric teased him about something but today he was mostly silent.  
>"Are you sure noth,"<br>"WILL!" Alan stopped with the rest of the cafeteria as they heard Grell arguing with Will. That wasn't too uncommon when he was here but it seemed strange to take place in an open area. Everyone knew Will liked to keep Grell contained in his office. Looking over at Eric Alan waited to hear Eric make some smart ass comment about the commotion but noticed he was barely paying attention. That was strange, though, he had been acting strange all morning.  
>"Eric, are you feeling alright?"<br>"Huh? Yea of course. What makes you say that?"  
>"Well you've be quite today that's all. And you haven't cracked a joke about what's going on over there." As he pointed over to Will and Grell they could hear Grell yelp at Will grabbing him to pull him to his office. Grell was probably going to be beaten. Since it sounded like it happened a lot.<br>"Nah I'm fine, just exhausted." He stood in hopes to leave and head back to his desk, he needed to think for a little while.  
>"I'm sorry; you didn't have to stay up so late to help me. I passed out and failed to complete my work, you didn't have to suffer to."<br>"Who suffered? I went to bed soon after you did. I just didn't sleep well, no big deal."  
>He was lying, he didn't know why but he could tell that he was .<br>"Eric, we're friends aren't we?"  
>"Alan." Sitting back down he saw the look on his face, he was seriously asking. "Of course we are. Why, why are you asking?"<br>"Then act like it!" Realizing he snapped at Eric he quickly gathered his things and hurried out of the cafeteria. "I'm sorry," fluttered from his lips as he knew he had to get out of there. He was so stupid, why did he get mad at Eric? He asks if they are friends but then yells at him, so stupid. This was why he stopped trying to make friends, he had no clue how to keep them.  
>"Alan?" Eric was more than lost by what had just happened and where did a question like that come from? Of course they were friends. Alan was the light he had been searching for for years, since he was a child. He was the one person that wasn't like the ones he had known. His past was so dark he had fumbled through it for years. It had nearly choked him to death, starved him for air, this gig had been pure luck, he wasn't sure what made him so lucky. He had dropped out of his regular school, had no family reference here to help him but somehow they gave him a shot and he almost blew it. But then Alan appeared. He showed up and they were forced together. The light around him had been so bright it hurt to look at. Yet he couldn't look away. Things would have probably turned out better just now if he was able to tell Alan all of this but he couldn't, he didn't know how. He could only stay by his side and show him that way.<p>

Alan sat at his desk not knowing where else he could go. The library was a place he could always fall back on but he thought there would be more people there then here. He was so angry with himself for how he acted. He was so stupid; Eric didn't have to tell him anything if he didn't want to. If he kept secrets from him that didn't mean they weren't friends, they were allowed their privacy. Should he go back and apologize to him for how he acted? No, it would probably only make things worse. He would leave him alone for right now and see how things went from there. Maybe if he waited Eric would forget the whole things and all would be okay. That could happen couldn't it? Oh who was he kidding, he shouldn't have tried to make friends here, he knew he was just going to mess it up. He was born alone and would live and die alone. He had always known that yet he had to keep trying and look where it got him. Nothing but more heartache. Hearing voices he made sure he wasn't crying and pulled out some papers to make it look like he spent his lunch hour catching up on things. Looking up he saw it was Grell who was going on about something Will said. He wasn't sure if it was good or bad that it was only him.  
>"Alan! You'll listen to me won't you? Will is being such a jerk to me. He is trying to ignore what is right in front of him, that we are destined to be together. Two immortal Death Gods fighting side by side by day and two passionate lovers by night!"<br>Alan nearly choked on air hearing that, he never knew they were together. Will didn't take him as that sort of person.  
>"M…Mr. Grell you and Will are…together? I thought you are seeing someone, else." Last he heard he was rambling about that demon, he still couldn't figure that one out at all.<br>"What's a girl to do with so many gorgeous guys to go after? One can't simply choose one."  
>No matter how long he worked here he was still confused by him, why did all of his superiors seem so strange? Wasn't anyone here normal?<br>"I, I'm not sure what to tell you. I have never been in your situation before. But, maybe you should try settling for just one partner. You would probably have less to worry about then."  
>"Uh! You just don't understand a woman's heart at all!" Frustrated with the lack of support and understanding Alan was giving him Grell huffed off. Alan sat there lost and confused by everything, and why did Grell keep using the feminine adjective? Wasn't he a male? There were only male reapers as far as he knew of so he had to be. Maybe it was time for him to leave work early and go back to bed with how this day was turning out.<p>

Seeing Eric coming back from lunch with the others he tried to bury himself in his work, now he really wished he could go on an assignment. His hopes sparked up seeing Will come to talk to them and organize a few things but he wasn't given anything. He was glad that Eric got one though, he looked like he had been hoping for one too.  
>"Eric Slingby, keep an eye on Grell Sutcliff, make sure he actually does his assignment."<br>Gathering his weapon he got ready to follow him.  
>"Oh and Eric, don't forget what we spoke about this morning. You can't afford to let this mission end up as a failure either."<br>Taking a quick glance over at Alan hoping he didn't hear that he went after Grell before he got too far ahead of him and caused too much trouble on his own.

What did that mean? Had Eric gotten yelled at for doing poor work earlier? Was it because of him? Because he had helped him this past week? Was that why Eric didn't want to talk to him today, because he was mad at him? Or maybe he didn't want him to know that it was his fault Will had spoken to him? If so then he would keep his distance and try to help him with his work while he was working with Grell. It was the least he could do for him. Even if he messed up their friendship he could still help him as a co-worker, they could be partners when it was required.

0o0o0o0o0o

I started this chapter with an idea that sounded awesome….it was only about two pages. After it I sat and stared so I'm sorry if this chapter sucks. Good thing though Eric's past is slowly being uncovered. Will Alan be able to talk to Eric and get things back on track for them or will he let it get to him too much? Please review and leave thoughts. I love both very much.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

With Eric on a mission Alan didn't wait for him once he could clock out for the day. Figuring sine he was with Grell he would be out even later than if it had been the two of them. This worked in his favor though, after this afternoon the space would hopefully allow it all to be forgotten. And if not then, well he had time to create an apology of some sort. And the courage to face Eric again. That was really the big and major thing, being able to face him. This wasn't something about himself that he could change overnight. If it was he would have a long time ago. It could take time which he didn't have. Still he had to try something; he couldn't lose Eric as a friend. The more he thought about it the more he didn't want that as an outcome. Eric was his only friend and after trying for years he couldn't lose him, it wasn't like he could make more. He thought what to do all the way to his place and for a good part of the night. Seeing the book Eric lent to him on his table where he left it when he got him he brought it into living room where the candle light was better. He almost forgot that he brought it home, maybe if he read it he could use it as an excuse to talk to Eric tomorrow. It was perfect, well okay maybe not perfect but it was a start. Better than what he was coming up with before which was nothing.

Yawning he closed the book and blew out the candles around him so he could turn in for the night. It was later than he planned on but he couldn't put "Underground" down. It was filled with bloodshed and destruction, horrible habits, yet it held something much more than that as well. The entire time he was reading he was hoping the main character got what he as fighting for, to stop running from his past, to find what he was looking for, an object that was never really explained but something told him he wasn't something material. Changing in his room he climbed into bed and just laid there. He was tired yet his mind was swirling from the day it seemed. He was used to this as it happened all the time but that didn't mean he liked it all the same. Feeling his eyes begin to shut he shot up trying to wrap his mind around what he may have just figured out. What if Eric had a past filled with struggles that he was trying to run from just like the main character? It wasn't totally out there. From what Eric told him he had it rough growing up. And from what he gathered he still had it rough as a death god, while it had to do with his past or not wasn't the point. With this though he could ask him about it and see where it took them. Eric would either talk about his past or he wouldn't. And this time if he didn't want to talk he wouldn't take it personally and get mad at him. In school people knew him to be the level headed one, when others got aggravated over a drill or each other he would be the one to stay calm and keep them on track. Perhaps that's why he was so lost with what happened at lunch, that wasn't like him at all. Was this what he read about, friends arguing over something stupid or nothing at all because they were friends? Oh why wasn't there a book about this? Crashing his head onto his pillow he pulled his covers up over him and bunched up like a child. This was a position he had always been most comfortable with.

Eric wanted a mission sure but why did he have to get partnered with Grell? He could have been done by now if it had been just him or him and Alan. Was this a way of testing him? Did Will want to see how he would handle himself, that he was worth this second chance?  
>"Hey Grell let's go I want to get back sometime tonight."<br>Looking over his shoulder he noticed his partner was trying to flirt with someone again, if only he cared about this mission that much. Looking up at the clock tower in the town square he saw it was already midnight, so much for getting sleep tonight. God, he hated all nighters, especially when they didn't have to be. Looked like he would have to talk to Alan at work tomorrow since it was too late to head to his place after he was done here.  
>"Grell! I said let's go!" The red head huffed and stomped over to the blond, hands on hips.<br>"You scared that guy away and I was getting somewhere with him."  
>"Good! I'm glad he ran, though it probably wasn't from me you freak."<br>"You take that back!" Storming after Eric who started walking again he demanded he take back all the horrible things he said to him just now. "You're such a jerk no wonder why Alan hates you."  
>"What?" Stopping he turned to him ready to demand answers. Alan hated him? Was that was caused him to say what he did at lunch? But, what did he say or do? Now he really wanted to talk to him and get this all straightened out.<br>"I spoke to him when he was at his desk at lunch and he was really upset. You being the ass that you are got to him finally it looked like. You know you'll never get him to be with you if you treat him so harshly."  
>"You're such a liar. I bet you didn't even speak to him. And who ever said I wanted to be with him. He's the last person I want to get with."<br>"I am not lying! I did too speak with him and he was completely useless in helping me with my problems. All I wanted was his sympathy and he just said he wasn't sure what to tell me but possibly choose one man. Can you believe that? And if you're not interested in him then…then can I try. He is such a cutie. Or are you pining after me? Oh Eric!"  
>"Did I say he was the last person, I meant you! Now back off!" He pushed Grell back trying to get him from kissing him, he was way too close then he liked. Knowing what he did about Alan and his sad relationship history Eric couldn't stop himself from bursting out laughing after he registered what Grell said about him getting advice from him. It was good to know Grell was lying though about him being upset with him, not that he still didn't want to talk to Alan but the urgency was gone. He became even happier seeing their target, maybe he would be able to get to sleep for a little after all. Though, after two nights of this he was looking forward to a full night's sleep.<p>

Alan woke up easier than he normally did, though he never really had a hard time. All night he was thinking about what he may have figured out and worrying about facing Eric. He really didn't want to make things worse for himself by bringing up things maybe Eric didn't want to talk about but he didn't want him to stay silent either. What if Eric wanted to talk about it but only if someone brought it up? That was it; he would mention it with the cover being about the book just as he planned last night. He needed to stop worrying about it; everything would be fine. If Eric wanted to talk to him that was. Ah crap he almost forgot about that. If Eric was mad at him for getting upset during lunch than all of this planning could go to waste. And the worrying started all over again. Pushing back his breakfast he suddenly wasn't hungry, even though he skipped dinner last night. Wanting to get to work and work up his nerve before facing Eric he got going. Staying here wasn't doing anything for him anyway.

Arriving at the office he noticed he wasn't the first one here, there were a few cleaning and organizing up the rooms before the day started officially it looked like. Oh well that wasn't a big deal, so long as Eric wasn't here it was fine. It gave him more time to prepare exactly what he was going to say to him when he handed the book back. Walking down the main hallway to the reapers offices he heard two people getting into an argument it sounded like. He didn't want it to seem like he was eavesdropping but he needed to pass by to get to his desk. Thinking about it the only office in this hallway was William's. It was too early for him to be arguing with anyone he dealt with on a normal bases and knowing it was Will did he really want to walk past, it sounded like the door was open. He would see him walk by, maybe he should just wait until they were done. Turning around to go back the way he came he stopped hearing Eric's voice, he was the one arguing with Will? What was he nuts? He knew Eric had guts and wasn't scared of Will but, what was nuts? Moving a little closer he listened in to see if maybe they were just talking. Perhaps they were friends arguing in a joking way, he read that some people were like that because they were so close.  
>"I don't care what happened it was your assignment."<br>"And I did it as you'll see in my report. I'm just asking if you could no longer pair me with that incompetent idiot! We could have been back a lot sooner and with better results if he stayed on task!"  
>"You are in no position to complain about who you assist Eric Slingby. Maybe you should stay on paperwork detail if you hate it that much."<br>"No! Ugh forget it! It's fine, I said nothing." Getting up he walked out. Alan panicked hearing the conversation ending, what did he do now, he didn't want to get busted. Quickly he moved towards the offices in hopes they would think he just arrived and hadn't heard anything.  
>"Oh shit! Alan?" Eric stopped short just barely missing Alan as he left Will's office.<br>"E…Eric, good morning. Oh! Here, here this is yours. See you later." Shoving the book at him he tried not to run the rest of the way down the hall. Eric stood where he was completely lost. Looking at what was forced in his hands he saw it was the book he lent to Alan. That boy had some serious people issues. Seeing he had to punch in for the day he went down the hall where Alan practically ran to, he had no idea as to why he was in such a rush, he wasn't running late.

Well that wasn't what he intended to do at all. He just gave Eric back what he planned to use as his excuse to talk to him. Now what was he going to do? This really sucked, shit, he was so stupid. Punching in for the day he went to his desk and tried to get to work, no point in waiting and it could help him in avoiding Eric for right now.  
>"Alan, is everything alright with you this morning?"<br>Seeing a shadow over him and his papers he looked up already knowing it was Eric. So much for avoiding him with work.  
>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I tried walking away but then I was worried you would say something stu,"<br>"Alan. What are you talking about? Do mean just before?"  
>"I'm sorry, for yesterday too. If you don't want to talk about something that's fine. I know that doesn't mean we aren't friends."<br>"Stop. Alan, what are you talking about? You're speaking so fast I can't understand you." What, was he suffering from verbal diarrhea or something? Or maybe he had too much caffeine? He couldn't handle too much alcohol so maybe it was the same with caffeine. It would explain why he looked like crap.  
>"I said I'm sorry."<br>"I got that much. What I want to find out from you is why."  
>"With a deep breath he swallowed his rising nerves and said, "For how I acted yesterday. I shouldn't have gotten so upset over you not wanting to talk to me. And, for overhearing your conversation with William just before. I tried not to, honest, but I was worried you would get in trouble again and I was the cause of it again."<br>"Will you stop!" Now it was his turn to get upset and angry. He didn't care if he the others around him heard him get mad with his former trainee and embarrass him. It seemed Alan had all these ideas in his head and he had no idea as to why they were there.  
>"What do you mean again? Alan you have never been the reason I got in trouble, and this morning. That was because of that dumbass flamboyant redhead. And, if you wanted to talk we'll talk. Pick the time and place and we'll do it."<br>"Really? And you're not upset with me at all?"  
>"Nope. I've always been a trouble maker. From the day I was born till the day I die. It's what I do. It's part of the reason I'm so surprised I had to train someone so pure and innocent."<br>He wasn't sure if Eric was lying or not about being angry but he didn't look it so that was good. And he was willing to talk so, so then maybe his guess that he was waiting for someone to ask wasn't far off. Hearing a death list coming in Eric walked over to his desk to let Alan go through it so he could head out on his assignments. Things were more or less straightened out between them so they could talk again later. Looking over at his desk he saw the reports from last night needing to be filled out. That son of a bitch, cross-dressing,…bloody reaper. Why wasn't he fired already, sure he was no angel but he was ten times better than that piece of shit. Remembering the outcome of this morning he knew bringing this up with Will was a waste of time. Swallowing his pride and hatred to that freak he got to work. He already saw the overtime notice for the next few days. Apparently Will was pissed with him for complaining about who he was partnered with last night, how long it actually took and as a reminder that his job was still on the line. He would do this work perfectly then shove it up Will's ass. That would show him, probably get him fired too. Would be worth it though to see the look on his face. With that thought on his mind he got to work.

There was nothing wrong with solo collections and actually Alan was getting used to them. After working with Eric though for a solid six months it took some getting used to. He loved being in the human world though, it really was something else. So much to see and do and watching people go through their lives was fun but the human world was also so sad and tragic. Disease and areas being covered in blood from disputes over drugs, he wished he could find a way to get them to stop the mindless killing. If only they could see each other the way he saw them. That they shouldn't take for granted the life they were given. Sure he was immortal and would live forever but he wasn't invincible, he could still become injured, he could still feel pain, he could be killed by certain forces. A reapers greatest weakness was their weapons. While it was their strength and did wonders on humans and demons it could still kill them. Obviously they didn't go around telling people that but it was why they held on to them so tightly. It was also why the academy made sure everyone training to be a reaper had a scythe they wanted and suited them. He wasn't sure why these thoughts popped up in his head all of a sudden while he searched for the next one on his 'to die' list but he didn't mind them. Perhaps he thought about it because he envied the humans. He was born a death god, he always knew he aged slowly and would never technically die unless he was cut in the heart by a scythe. He knew of some reapers or ex-reapers that had lived hundreds of years and knew their bodies would die but their souls would most likely have a re-birth, for all eternity. The only way a soul died was if a scythe got to it. It was what made death scythes so special, so precious. How they were made were unlike that of normal human weapons and only a select few knew how. That was why permits were needed to modify them. He wished humans understood how special their time here was. For them once they died they were sent to heaven or hell, there was no soul re birth for them. That was also why he hated having to collect souls from children. They deserved a life since they only got one. At least he could promise them peace, unlike most other human, children usually went to heaven. Stopping at the alley where his target was headed he thought about death. What it was like, what it felt like to share their pain. If only that was possible, if only it was possible to feel what it was like to believe everyday could be your last, to know when the end came there was no second chance. Seeing his target, an older man that probably should have been in bed listening to the cough he had, he got ready. He knew it wasn't illness that would claim him though; it was another case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Almost on cue Alan heard people shouting behind him, getting out of sight he saw a boy being chased by older gentlemen, drugs again. Most cases like this seemed to be drugs anymore, it was starting to get out of hand.  
>"Ey you bloody boy et ack ere!"<br>The boy ran into the man to push away from him and continue running. Alan heard gunshots as the collision happened, only a few more seconds before he was up. The man dropped to his knees as blood came from his stomach.  
>"Bloody hell we missed the kid. After him!" Another member of the group shouted for the others to follow as they realized they missed their target. Running over the man they shot by mistake they treated him like a piece of trash, typical yet still so very wrong. Knowing they were out of sight Alan moved out from the shadows and went to the man who was bleeding to death. He felt terrible for him, really he did. No one deserved an end like this.<br>"P…please help me young man. My…my wife…she is…ill…we are…raising…our grandchildren…All they have left…"  
>"I'm so sorry. I will be quick I promise. You will no longer feel pain." Pulling his weapon to allow it to be seen he brought it down allowing his cinematic record to play. Watching it he felt mesmerized by what he saw, the happy yet sad life this man led and left behind. He had collected quite a number of souls since joining the dispatch yet this one caught his attention more than the others. He felt his body want to touch the film that played around him, he wanted to embrace this man's difficult yet fulfilling journey. Without being fully aware of himself he reached out for the one directly in front of him. Sparks shot from his fingers as he touched it though instead of pain he felt elated. He could see the scene much clearer now. The man just married his wife, it was a beautiful wedding filled with love. The entire day was amazing. Feeling as if something hit him in the head Alan yelled as it all went black for a moment. Blinking he noticed he was back in the alleyway in London with the man he just saw get married dead at his feet. The feeling he was left with was electric, he wanted to feel it again, to know if it was a onetime deal or not. He couldn't wait for Will to send him out again so he could find out.<br>"Alan. Hey are you done with your assignments for the day?"  
>Turning to the person that called his name he saw Eric, he didn't know he would be around here too. Getting himself together he went to meet him, see what he needed.<br>"Did William send you out too?"  
>"Nah, but I needed to step away from all the overtime for a little while and he left for the night anyway."<br>"Want me help with it, I do owe you after all."  
>"I've got it, but I thought if you were done we could do that talking thing you mentioned this morning." He appreciated the help but figured Will would come down on Alan for doing his work since he seemed to be in the type of mood.<br>Not happy with the idea that Eric was bailing on work to come down here he hesitated. But what if he really wanted to talk? What if it was something serious?  
>"Sure we can talk now. I just finished up today's assignments."<br>"Great." Heading down the main road they decided to grab food. Both were pretty hungry and Alan realized he hadn't eaten anything since the little lunch he had yesterday wanting to get a head start on his assignments today.  
>"Oh, by the way I was meaning to ask you Alan. Are you feeling alright today? You look exhausted."<br>"Oh, well, I didn't really sleep well last night, but I'm fine. I was, well I, couldn't really sleep. Too many thoughts in my head and I was caught up in your book. What about you? You're eyes are baggier then I've ever seen mine. Were you able to get any sleep last night?"  
>"Not really, slept at my desk thanks to the stupid red head keeping me out all night practically. God I hate him."<br>"Sorry. Is he really that bad?"  
>Eric started laughing making Alan think it was about his question. Only, he was laughing at the fact that he could see Alan losing sleep over worrying about something so stupid. His mind probably never shut off, poor kid.<br>"Oh hey, this place looks good."  
>Pushing Alan in front of him they stepped into a bar. As long as they could eat here Alan was happy with this decision for once. His stomach was started to get really loud.<p>

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

So classes are back in session for me but my schedule this semester doesn't seem too bad so I plan to keep updating every few days. Please keep reviewing and leaving your thoughts and ideas I enjoy them a lot.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Figuring Eric was going to start drinking since they were at a bar Alan figured now was the best time to talk to him. If he waited too long he would be drunk or at least tipsy and probably wouldn't get the answers he was looking for.  
>"So what did you want to ask me?" Seeing the look on the brunettes face he figured he asked what they were figuring out as well. Downing his first beer he yelled for the bartender to pour another.<br>"You should be careful; William will be upset with you if you go back to the office drunk. I know you said he left for the night but someone could say something." Remembering the guys he saw this morning he figured someone was always there.  
>"It'll be fine. I know my limit."<br>"Why do you like "Underground?"  
>"You wanted to talk to me so you could have a book club meeting?" He knew he sounded as confused as he felt, Alan really confused him sometimes.<br>"Just answer the question."  
>"I don't know, the plot was really well done for me I guess? The story was easy yet interesting to follow?...What are you trying to get at?"<br>Having his sandwich placed in front of him Alan suddenly wasn't hungry again. He was scared about what Eric's reaction would be to such an invading question. "Do you feel that you and the main character have a sort of connection? That you like it so much because you're heart felt for him? That you both seemed to be going after the same thing?"  
>"You're really quite a thinker you know that. You must have spent all night coming up with this, trying to put all of it together." Receiving his own meal Eric took a nice size bite from it and a large gulp from his beer. He went searching for Alan because he was curious about what had been bugging him since he said he wanted to talk yesterday. He had no idea what he had hoped to discuss but he could tell he put a lot of thought into this. About how he would ease his way into this conversation.<br>"Please…please just answer the question. Eric, we've been friends for months now but I feel like I know nothing about you. You get personal and inappropriate with me but you, you just give basics."  
>"You don't want to know too much about me kid, it's bad for your health."<br>"That's something else, you treat me like a kid but I get the feeling you're not that much older than me. And all you do is dodge me. I'm stronger than I look. I can handle whatever you throw at me."  
>"I know you can." You really want to know me? Well then here it is. I was raised by both my parents more or less, though my father was abusive to both of us. My mother stayed with him though, stayed with him until he bailed on her. He ran off to pursue some human woman or something and left me with my mother. My mother was never spiteful of me or anything but we never really got along. I couldn't understand why she stayed with him for all those years, why she hoped he would return. I can't tell you all the times they were arguing about something, how many times he beat her, how many times he told me I was never going to be good enough in anything. She used to compare me to my father a lot, she meant it as a good thing, I didn't. I hated him, still do. He wasn't a Death God, he worked as a weapons maker, my mother was in General Affairs. My mother was always trying to protect me from what was out there, she didn't want me to become a Death God for she feared demons beyond anything else and she didn't want me to get hurt. I was attending a regular school during my childhood, it's where I met the ones I called my friends for years. I hated that school, I wanted to go out and explore but we weren't allowed. I also loved to fight, taught myself how, had to when my father was still with us. I used to get into fights constantly at school. Some were stupid petty human like fights others were to defend classmates that were getting picked on. See, I went to a reject school, a school for those that were sickly and too weak to become Death Gods or whose parents didn't want us too. I started really acting out when my mother forbid me from joining the Academy. I was close to the age they allowed students but she wouldn't let me, she threatened to throw me out if I did. Not having a place to go I followed her order but I wasn't happy with it. She hoped I would do something else, I was her good boy. God she never knew how much I hated that. Anyway, my best friend started joining outside clubs started by others that weren't accepted into the Academy for whatever reason. We stole, smoked, robbed, snuck into the human world. We acted out because we were rejects anyway, destined to stay failures and losers for our entire long ass life. By this time I was in my final years of schooling, I had been held back twice already because my grades were shit. I was always fighting with my mother; I couldn't get into any type of schooling for any part of the society because of my grades and record. I was always drunk even though I had been cut off by my mother in a final attempt to reel me in. She swore it was because of who I was hanging out with and I wasn't like that at all. But really it was who I was; I was my father, just like him. I had nothing going for me, I knew it was too late to fix my life; I had messed up too badly. Then I did the unthinkable, what I always regretted doing, my girlfriend, and best friend were hungry, we all were, we were all wasted only I could walk better than them. We were broke from having no job or parents to give us money. We snuck into the human world to go drinking. I saw this guy walking, he had this gun with him, I ambushed him and took the gun. Walking into a store not far from us I tried to rob them. I fired, twice, once in the arm, the other, the other was in the chest. A reaper, Will actually, heard the commotion. He was on duty and went to see if any souls had to be collected from it. My friends bailed after the first shot. Will brought me back where I was in more than just trouble. We both know the punishment for killing a human not on the 'to-die' list if you're a reaper but I wasn't and it wasn't like it was an accident. I faced prison, and being exiled if I was lucky. I had a record though, this wasn't my first offense, I faced death. I blew my chances to get my life together and I knew that. I was okay with death, it was what I deserved. My mother threw me out even before my hearing knowing I had already caused her so much shame. I was filled with regret for everything I did and maybe the council saw that, maybe not. But they offered me a chance, a rare chance, one to attend the academy, one to become a Death God. I took it obviously as I sit here with you but I'm always being watched. As grateful as I was I was still me. I was still reckless, hot tempered, a drunk, up until a few years ago when I was banned from assignments and risked being fired if I didn't clean my act up." He wasn't going to lie to Alan at all but he really didn't want him to know his probation just ended and had started right before he got here.<p>

Alan just sat there staring at his plate even after Eric finished talking and went back to his beer and food. He had no idea his past was so littered with actions he personally couldn't even have dreamed of.  
>"And your mother? Have you reconnected with her since you got your life together?"<br>"I walk past her place on occasion but she never formally contacted me hoping we could talk or anything. I haven't seen or spoken to her since she threw me out. She retired soon after I officially became a Death God so it isn't like I've seen her around either. I get the feeling she hopes to forget me, after all I've put her through I can't say I blame here. Plus, I know she still hated the idea that I joined the society and became a reaper."  
>"I'm really sorry Eric, that, that's rough."<br>"That my friend; is life. Just because we live forever doesn't mean it's any easier on us."  
>"I know that. We aren't that much different from humans huh?"<br>"I don't think so. But don't let Will hear you say that. He'll start ranting about how we are superior to them and all that crap." Ordering another beer he noticed Alan hardly touched his food, he really was too sensitive. That was one of the reasons he didn't want to tell him his life story. "Why don't you eat before it gets cold and I have to head back soon."  
>"Sure. Yea that's true."<br>He was glad though that Eric finally opened up to him. He hoped Eric knew how much he appreciated it. He had been right though, he got a feeling that people didn't see Eric as he truly was. They only saw his past. A dark past and one that if people cared enough about to look around they would see someone dedicated to work more or less and trying to move on. Perhaps that was why they were friends, because they were both aiming for the same goal. They both wanted to move on from their pasts, their shadows.  
>"Can I ask you something else? This has nothing to do with anything though."<br>"Sure. Shoot."  
>"Have you ever wanted to touch a record of someone's soul that you collected?"<br>"You mean like touching a scene as it goes by?"  
>"Yea."<br>"No. I've had no desire too but I've heard it's painful if you do. Why did you try it or something?"  
>"No, I was just thinking about that, if it was possible or not."<br>"Well it is and I don't recommend it."  
>"Okay, thanks for telling me."<p>

Alan had always respected those older than him, and even though he still didn't believe Eric was that much older than him he listened to and respected him. But, he couldn't follow his instructions to not touch the records as they flashed by. The rush he got, the feelings he experienced, he chose such happy, joyous scenes to watch. He wasn't sure where the rumor came from that it hurt. He always saw sparks when he reached for them yet never felt anything. He really wanted to tell Eric about this, have him experience it for himself only to do that he would have to tell him he went against his wishes. This was probably the only thing that really made him enjoy solo work; he couldn't do it when he was partnered. He wanted to know about this, why more people didn't try it but nothing was recorded. Going through another book in the library he saw nothing about touching reels and closed it. Staying where he was for a moment he wondered if maybe no one had tried it before, no someone had too. The society had been around for hundreds of years. He knew two people that he could ask. One of them creeped him out so he would only use them as a last resort. Knowing he had finished his paperwork but had yet to give it to William he decided now would be a good time to talk to him. He could ask him as he turned his stuff in for the day. Putting the books he took out away he went across the building to his office to get his work. Seeing William was alone he still carefully knocked. No matter how long he worked here he was still nervous when they spoke in his office, over anything.  
>"Alan Humphries, do you have my paperwork?"<br>"I do sir. Also, William, sir, can I ask you about a rumor? It seems everyone knows not to touch a record of a human during a collection but the reasons why are all different. And, I noticed the books had nothing either. Is it just a superstition then? I always thought we weren't able to touch a memory and not so much that we couldn't."  
>Sitting up straighter then he was already was he looked up at the younger version of himself. Had anyone asked him this he may have gotten mad. Pushing up his glasses he shared his knowledge of this topic with Alan.<br>"It is very possible to touch ones memory after they have been cut by a death scythe. It is a taboo among death gods though to do so, for you see if you choose a memory filled with regret it can pierce us. The memory sees us there, watching as events unfold. The soul of the memory can become angry, vengeful for us not interfering in the ending of their life. A Death God that is pierced by a vengeful soul can contract the disease known as the Thorns of Death. It is a disease we know little about even though it has been around us from the very beginning. Alan, it is forbidden to touch a souls memory never forget that."  
>"Of course sir."<br>"Now tell me, have you ever done such or know of someone that has. If you do tell me."  
>"No, no sir I have never and would never. I also don't know anyone that has either. I was merely curious that's all. As I said, I heard different rumors."<br>"Then is that all? Or was there something more you wished to discuss with me?"  
>"That was all. Thank you William, sir."<br>Taking his leave he headed back to his desk. He never knew it was a taboo. Sitting there he played back all the memories he saw, none of them shown regret he made sure he saw happy memories. Still he would stop though before his luck ran out. And what was with this disease, this Thorns of Death? William made it sound so serious but they were Death Gods, nothing affected them for long. Should he ask Eric if he knew more about it? Nah, he would probably want to know why he was asking. Oh well it wasn't that big of a deal, he wasn't affected by it and would stop watching memories all the same.

Not worrying about it and staying busy with work Alan noticed his one year anniversary came and went. Eric being Eric though and wanting an excuse to go out and drink took him out for surviving his first year. He apparently did much better than their last guy who only lasted a week before asking to be transferred. Alan was glad they got to go out though he was celebrating something else; they were celebrating knowing Eric for a year for him. A year ago he met his friend, back then they may not have known it then but now they were glad to know they had each other's backs. Alan was even willing to go so bold as to say Eric was his best friend. They would probably do anything for each other.

A few months before Alan would have been with them for two years they got a new co-worker. Alan wasn't jealous, he just wasn't that type of person but he was scared. Scared he would lose his best friend to someone else. Ronald Knox was his name, fresh from the academy and he was just like Eric. Maybe more of a flirt but they both liked to party, meet woman, get drunk, go home with woman. He had this fear he would be pushed aside for Ronald and their friendship would become more like that of co-workers. He hadn't formally met him yet but what he heard from others was that he was nice. He had nothing against the kid but he was everything Eric was and he wasn't. Both men worked hard yet loved to take it easy, never in a rush. They even had blond hair with black roots, they could easily be passed off as brothers or so he heard. Eric wasn't mentoring him though; Grell was and on occasion William. It seemed strange that Grell was allowed to since he was always getting into trouble it seemed like. Maybe that's why William was going out with him too.  
>"Alan you haven't met our newest member yet have you? Ronald Knox this is Alan Humphries."<br>"It's a pleasure sir. I've heard a lot about you from Mr. Slingby. I've always wanted to introduce myself to you but we kept missing each other."  
>"I've told you to call me Eric!" Walking over to Ronald, Will, and Alan he handed a document to Alan.<br>"And please call me Alan. If you need help with anything feel free to ask me. Though with having two great mentors I'm sure you won't need me."  
>"Thanks. Hey we should go out for drinks sometime."<br>"I'm in you know that."  
>"You should come too Will, get you out of your stuffy office and let loose a little."<br>"I shall pass, now come we have work to do."  
>Alan just smiled at Ronald before he walked off to get to work with Will. Eric hung around Alan for another minute before getting back to work. He tried not to think about possibly losing his best friend, he was just being stupid. Besides, Eric was allowed to have other friends, hang with others. And it wasn't like he liked to do all the things Eric did, he still wasn't a big drinker and he never hooked up with a woman or anyone for that matter.<p>

Eric sat at his desk and watched Alan becoming lost in his thoughts. He seemed to be in his head a lot lately. Seeing if he had anything to do after work he got up to invite Alan over to his place tonight. They hadn't been able to hang out much these last few weeks because Alan had been swapped with work. Plus he had just gone food shopping yesterday so he could finally try this recipe he had been wanting to try for awhile now. Inviting Alan over he saw his face light up, oh how some things never changed. Not that he wanted them too; he liked Alan just the way he was.

0o0o0o0o0

Chapter 7 and time is finally moving I feel like which makes me very happy. I could have jumped sooner but I feel all this needed to be established first. Thanks for all those reviewing, reviews make me happy. Thoughts and ideas are welcomed.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Stepping into Eric's apartment felt strange this time. Nothing looked different from how he remembered it but he couldn't help himself from looking around.  
>"It's been awhile since you've been here hasn't it?"<br>Walking into the kitchen Eric went into the icebox and pulled out two beers handing one to Alan.  
>"It certainly feels like it. Thanks." He really wasn't in the mood to drink but was used to Eric trying. He would open it and give to him later once his finished his.<br>"Hungry or want to eat later."  
>"Now is fine you said something about trying a new recipe?"<br>"Oh yea, been wanting to try it for awhile now. Never had the stuff for it."  
>"Gotcha." Sitting at the table he tried to stay out of the way knowing Eric wouldn't let him help out in anyway. He had stopped trying to awhile ago.<br>"It's funny, you know, finally meeting Ronald. He could pass as your younger brother pretty easily." He watched as Eric took things out of the cabinet and started measuring as best he could. "Funny you said that, he asked me if we were related just the other day. Apparently I talk about you a lot." Hearing that Alan perked up a little more.  
>"You talked about me?"<br>"Nothing bad, this is you he asked about remember. He had asked who I was usually partnered with and I said you. Then, well he asked me what you were like."  
>"And let me guess, you told him I'm basically a workaholic bookworm that doesn't get out much."<br>Looking over his shoulder at Alan he smiled and laughed. "Yea basically." He could tell Alan knew he was only teasing, and though he gave that description he used better words and made it sound more interesting.  
>"Then let me guess, he asked why we were friends since we are so different?"<br>"Sorta, that's when he asked if we were related. If you were my little brother."  
>'You never know we could be, you know, because we look so much alike. He does look like he could pass as your brother though."<br>"I noticed."  
>"Could he be?" He remembered Eric telling him that his father ran off with another woman when he was still a kid. The possibility wouldn't be that far off then.<br>"I thought about it and I asked him who his parents were."  
>"And?" Standing he moved next to Eric waiting to hear what he said.<br>"He's not." His father isn't mine. Here try this." Handing Alan a spoon he had him try a little of the sauce. It dawned on him before that Alan wasn't crazy about hot foods. Trying it and handing it back he smiled, it tasted great. He could tell Eric had truly been worried about Ronald being his half brother. That he had gone through hell as kid, watching his mother be beaten, he himself was beaten and to think someone he had become friendly with, someone he was working with could be related to that man and have a better life or even the same.  
>"This has to simmer for awhile now."<br>"Okay, can't wait, it smells good."  
>Smiling he ruffled Alan's hair before taking his beer to his seat at the table.<p>

He was really glad Alan was able to hang with him tonight. He had missed being able to get together with him from work always getting in the way. Sure they had talked and he had gone out with Ronald during that time but Alan was a closer friend and he enjoyed kicking it back with him more. He could also see that Alan had been in his mind a lot more than he usually and seemed worried about something lately. Asking at work seemed impossible since they had been swapped with work and he got the feeling Alan asked for more these past few weeks for whatever crazy reason. Even now as they sat across from each other at his kitchen table he could see Alan lost in his thoughts. He was afraid to pry and learn about whatever he was thinking about but he thought they were close enough by now to know they could openly talk to each other. That Alan could always come talk to him not matter what time of day. Others he would get pissed at or turn away if they showed up randomly in the middle of the night but not Alan, he could never turn him away. Recently he noticed that he was always worried about him, thinking about him that's probably why Ronald asked about him, it was probably obvious to everyone, but Alan, that he thought about him more than anyone else. He never cared about anyone this much, ever, not really anyway. He wasn't a total bastard, he felt feelings for his last girlfriend but that wasn't this, whatever this was.  
>"So you want to go out for drinks one night after work, you, me, and Ronald? I hate sounding old but that guy is nuts."<br>"I don't know, I'm still not that big on wild nights and if he is worse than you then I may just be poor company."  
>"Oh come on you're a lot of fun even when you're not smashed."<br>"Thanks." Bringing his beer to his mouth he chugged about half. It seemed he was growing accustomed to beer at the very least.  
>"Tell me, are you scared of Ronald?"<br>"What?" Pulling the can from his mouth he started gagging. He couldn't believe what Eric just said to him. And it was what he had been thinking about, damn Eric.  
>"That's it isn't it? But why are you scared of him?"<br>"I am not. Now just drop it alright."  
>"You are the worst liar I know of. Now tell me or no dinner for you."<br>" I'm telling you I am not scared of him now stop it!"  
>"Oh am I ruffling your feathers?" Flipping literally over his table he pinned Alan to the chair he was sitting in. He could see the inner turmoil he was trying to hide. What was bothering him so much? Why didn't he want to talk about it?<br>"Hey Alan, we're friends aren't we?"  
>Alan's eyes went wide hearing Eric's question before they filled with liquid. Pushing Eric off him he got up and ran from the kitchen.<br>"Alan!" Refusing to let him get away and continue to let whatever was bothering him stay inside he ran after him.

Alan didn't get far outside of Eric's home before he was stopped. Eric grabbed his wrist and forced him to face him, He could see him trying to fight back the tears that had already started to fall. This was the first time in years he saw him cry but this seemed much different than from those other times.  
>"Ala,"<br>"I don't want to be alone again. All my life I have been alone but, but then. I can't. I don't want to be alone."  
>Pulling him close to his chest he let him cry.<br>"Alan, are you scared that I would forget you, that I would throw away our friendship?"  
>Feeling Alan pull himself closer he got his answer.<br>"Never." Lifting his head he looked into tear streaked eyes, eyes he never wanted to see crying again. Not over this, not over anything. "I would never give up our friendship. I would never give you up."  
>"…Eric."<br>"We're friends, you're my best friend and I only need one in this life. No one could ever replace you." Seeing the smile that slowly took over Alan's face he helped wipe his tears away. With an arm around his shoulders he led them back inside. If Alan wanted to continue to cry then that was fine but he would let him get comfortable at least.

After they had eaten they went into Eric's living room to relax for a little bit. Both were off tomorrow surprisingly so they weren't in any rush to end the night.  
>"Here, thought you could use this." Coming back into the room Alan was handed a mug of tea. All during dinner Alan was quiet, something Eric didn't really like, especially after what had happened before.<br>"Thank you, but you didn't have to." Holding the cup between his hands he enjoyed the warmth it gave off. He wasn't really cold since it was relatively warm outside yet he loved the feeling it gave off. "Sorry, for acting childish before. I don't know what came over me."  
>"I don't think it was childish. But you should have told me sooner that you were worried." Thinking about it though Alan not saying anything was just like him and he should have expected nothing but this from him.<br>"Ronald does seem really nice and great to be around. I have nothing against him honest. It's just that, well, he does all the things that you love to do and I don't. I mean I noticed that since we became friends you don't go out as much to the bars. And when we go together I feel like I hold you back since I'm not as heavy a drinker, or as wild. I've tried though but it's just not me. But Ronald loves all those things and you two make more sense to be friends then we ever did."  
>"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason I enjoy hanging out with you is because we are so different." Seeing the look of surprise that took over Alan's face he figured he hadn't thought of that. What would it take for him to understand how much he cherished knowing him these past couple of years? Knowing he was going to live forever didn't sound so bad since they became friends. The past he had been running from for years seemed to finally stop haunting him knowing Alan never judged him off of it the way most that knew did.<br>"Maybe I will go out with you guys the next time."  
>"You don't have to if you don't want to."<br>"I want to and someone needs to make sure you get home in one piece." Seeing him start to tease and become playful Eric became more playful as well.  
>"How did you hear about that one?"<br>"I overhead you telling someone when I was on my way out."  
>"Whoops."<br>Finishing his mug of tea he got up to wash it out for Eric. Hearing him huff as he stood at the sink he could tell he didn't approve. He had to help him somehow though, he wasn't allowed to help prepare, set up, or even clean up from dinner and Eric was kind enough to make him hot tea to help him relax after. Plus, he burst into tears and Eric was kind enough to let him cry on him. He was pretty sure he wrinkled his work shirt. He had been foolish to think they would ever stop being friends.  
>"I should probably get going. I'll see you later."<br>"Wait. Why not spend the night? We haven't gotten together in a while and we are off tomorrow so why leave so soon?"  
>"I'm not making you sleep on the couch. I hate when you do that when I sleep over."<br>"Then we can share my bed, it is big enough for two people."  
>"It's okay I'll take the couch."<br>Eric could see the uncomfortable look on Alan's face over the bed. He was so damn modest. While he could argue with him he knew it would be a lost cause and he wouldn't budge.  
>"Fine, fine, do as you please."<br>"Thank you. Oh and I hate to ask but do you mind if I borrow something for the night so I don't have to sleep in my suit?"  
>"Oh my God you are so demanding. Yea I do come on." Teasing, he led the way to his bedroom to find something that would suit Alan. It only took a minute to find a shirt for him but it took slightly longer on the pants since the first things he came across were baggy on him meaning Alan would do nothing but trip. They slept over each other places enough they should keep an outfit over with each other so they would always have one.<p>

Once they had changed for the night they went back to the living room to just chat and hang out. It was nice to see Alan laughing again. To know he was passed what had been bothering was a great feeling. And now hopefully Alan understood that he could always come and talk to him, about anything. In the years he had known Alan he knew he hadn't changed much, but perhaps little by little like they were going he would learn to open up more. He had faith they would get there eventually. Seeing it was getting late and Alan was slowly dozing off, though he was trying hard not to Eric got up so he could stretch out along the couch.  
>"If you aren't comfortable you can move. I don't lock my bedroom door and am usually on one side."<br>"I'll be fine here but thanks." Folding his glasses and setting them down nicely on the coffee table he let Eric blow out the lights for the night. Shaking his head he went into his own room and collapsed on the bed. He wasn't sure why but he hoped to feel Alan sneak in later though he figured he wouldn't.

It had been nice having a full day off but now they had work again and it wasn't anything small. Recent activity was showing the high death counts in the area to be work of a demon. The only demon they knew of here was the one attached to the human kid though and Will told then he couldn't go after souls. It didn't make much sense to them but they trusted Will. Though if it wasn't Sebastian then they had to be careful since they didn't know what they could go up against.  
>"This place is giving me the creeps. It's so quiet."<br>The sun was just starting to set meaning they should still be seeing people coming home from work but the streets were empty.  
>"They are probably too terrified to come out knowing a killer is out here." Eric glanced over at Alan to see his guard was set up high while he kept his senses alert for anything. Hearing someone scream they ran full force to them, both were suddenly sick to their stomachs as they saw the best they were looking for. Even years of experience never dulled the brutal image demons made with their prey. It had crushed a woman with its large claws and had her head in its mouth.<br>"Oh God."  
>"Breathe through it Alan."<br>"…Right…" Swallowing, he fixed the grip on his blade and with Eric's signal went after it. Neither were too surprised by hearing their weapons hit hard skin, most demons couldn't be pierced that easily anymore it seemed like.  
>"Mommy?"<br>Hearing a small voice behind them they turned to see a small boy in the doorway scared by the scene in front of him.  
>"Get back kid. Shit!" Barely dodging a claw Eric got clipped in his shoulder.<br>"Eric!"  
>"I'm fine. Move the kid!"<br>Knowing he was faster and closer Alan agreed, dodging the demons tail and grabbed the boy not sure where to move him too. No place here was safe at this rate. Hearing him crying out for his mother wasn't helping him think too much either. Breaking the window with the handle of his blade he placed him outside.  
>"Now run! Run far and don't come back until morning and with the Undertaker!" Pushing him he saw the kid gain his senses and start to listen and run. He would be safe with the Undertaker even as creepy as he was and should they fail here tonight he would make sure the society knew about it.<br>"Alan!"  
>Hearing Eric struggling he ran back in the room seeing him barely able to fight him off and with cuts throughout his body. Using the furniture he pushed up to get height, he needed to strike the head so they could a decent shot on it. Landing the blow he felt his blade get caught. A demons skin was hard but a scythe should still be able to pierce it and not get stuck.<br>"Shit!"  
>"Alan! Look out!" Turning he saw the tail coming at him, unable to dodge he was hit and flipped over the head. He saw his weapon still stuck as he was pinned under the demon. Terror flooded though him as he saw red ravenous eyes coming closer and closer. He was dead for sure. Screaming he felt it's claws come around him, tightening around him, bones were crushing.<br>"Alan!" Using the fact that the demon was busy playing and squeezing the life from his partner Eric managed to land on Alan's death scythe handle shoving it in deeper. Hearing the demon scream he knew he caught its attention. Pushing off the handle he forced his blades tips into the forehead as he landed. Ripping it from the beast he sliced it across its face as he fell in front of it trying to get to Alan. Screaming from the blade the claws unhinged from around Alan and Eric grabbed him before he fell to the ground. Seeing he was barely hanging onto consciousness, keeping him protected he turned and forced his swords tip into the demons heart now that it was finally getting exposed. Removing his blade he quickly shielded Alan's body with his own as blood sprayed out. Wincing as it touched his back he made sure Alan stayed with him. Under normal circumstances demon blood wasn't an issue but they were weaker and couldn't fight off the acidity to it. Plus in Alan's state it could kill him if too much touched him near the vital organs.  
>"E…Eric."<br>"It's over, I'm right here. You'll be fine."  
>"I…it hur…ca…the."<br>Looking over Alan's' body he saw he was covered in blood, his own blood. A rib probably punctured his lung. He could recover from this but they needed to get back to the society for that to happen. From his own blood loss he was too weak to carry him, he was already seeing double.  
>"Shit. Just hang on for me. You'll be alright I promise."<br>Seeing the small smile form on Alan's face he smiled back at him before they both passed out.

0o0o0o0

So I had semi writers block during this chapter so if it sucks at times you know why. Anyway I hope you are all enjoying it and please continue to review and leave your thoughts, impressions, what not. Thanks.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Alan took a deep breath as his eyes opened wide. Not moving anything but his eyes he noticed he was in a room he didn't recognize, and he felt sore.  
>"Alan! You're up!"<br>Turning his head he saw Eric sitting on the edge of his chair watching him.  
>"Where am I?"<br>"The infirmary. You were in pretty bad shape after the fight."  
>Sitting up the memories of what happened with the demon played back. The last he remembered was seeing Eric over him and being unable to breathe.<br>"How are your injuries, were any serious?"  
>"A few may scar which is great with attracting the ladies but enough about me. You were much worse off than I was."<br>"I feel sore but overall alright. Though, I haven't looked to see if I'm missing any fingers or toes." Moving his body under the cover he registered that he felt both of his arms and legs, and all of his fingers or toes. That was a relief, he could heal just fine but he couldn't re-grow limbs. Seeing his scythe in the corner he thought it looked good, shinny even. He still wanted to know how his blade became so dull; he always took care of it, had it sharpened on a regular basis. Following his eyes Eric saw he was looking at his weapon.  
>"Will retrieved it, had it cleaned up and sharpened for you."<br>"Will? Is he pissed with us? Or at least me for being so careless?"  
>"He came soon after we lost consciousness it sounds like. He came when the Undertaker informed him of the situation. It was a good thing they hadn't waited too long with your injuries. He is pissed at me for not calling for backup as soon as we realized we were in trouble. For that I am sorry for putting you in danger and for my actions allowing you to get hurt."<br>"It's fine. We both messed up. I was stupid and allowed myself to get hurt." He appreciated the apology even if it wasn't needed. He didn't want Eric to feel bad for his own mistakes, he was weak and that weakness got him seriously injured.  
>"How bad were my injuries?" Pushing the covers back he brought his legs over the side of the bed, he could tell his body was still recovering, probably had been for at least a day.<br>"All but two ribs were crushed; pieces pierced your lung and were sticking through your chest. Massive blood loss, your arms were shattered, your leg popped out of the socket. You should be fine but you should take it easy."  
>"Alan! You're finally awake, how are you feeling?" Both looked at the door to see Ronald standing in the doorway of the infirmary. He seemed beyond relieved to see Alan up and looking well. "When I saw how you were I was worried you would have future problems but you look okay."<br>"I am fine and should probably think about getting back to work. I bet I'll have a lot of overtime for this one."  
>Standing he could tell his legs were still in the healing process. Watching him be unsteady Eric quickly stood and put an arm around him to keep him balanced.<br>"You should get some rest. I'll deal with the paperwork. You may have slept for hours but you're not back at one hundred percent yet."  
>"I'm fine, really. I can sit at my desk and do work. I mean going home I'll be doing what, sitting on my couch reading. It's the same thing."<br>"Fine. Whatever. Do what you like." Letting him go he grabbed Alan's weapon and thrust it to him. Leaving Alan in the room he moved Ronald out of the doorway and stormed out.  
>"Eric!"<p>

Sitting at his desk Alan was aware of the fact that Eric was avoiding him. Obviously pissed with his decision to stay at work and not take it easy, though in his defense what he was doing wasn't strenuous. William approved him getting back to work so long as it was just paperwork, and only after he was reamed for not his using his head and getting help. Though, he gave him credit for informing the Undertaker at least and ensuring the child's safety. He was happy to hear the child was and would be fine, it was terrible that they were now an orphan but thankfully they could stay with other family and hopefully have a good life.  
>"Hey Alan, you're doing well?"<br>Looking up he saw Ronald standing on the other side of his desk wanting to say something but unsure if he would be overstepping boundaries. He remembered those days with Eric and he still faced them with William.  
>"I am fine thank you. Was there something you needed? I'll help if I can."<br>"No it's just; I wanted to talk to you about something. Please forgive me if this is out of bounds but, you should listen to Eric. He has been really worried about you. Once he woke up he demanded to know where you were and that you were doing alright. He didn't leave your side and refused to until you woke up. Like I said, not my place to intervene but you take me as someone that would like to know such things." Turning he went to take his leave, he said what he had to.  
>"Ronald. Thank you. I didn't know this and I appreciate you telling me. It makes sense to me now why Eric got upset with my decision earlier. May I ask you though, how do you know all of this?"<br>"Ah well that's easy. I went with William when he was notified. It was me, Grell and William that went to see what was going on when we saw the shape you both were in. You scared all of us, we could see your body trying to recover but it wasn't going right and your heart was barely beating according to the Undertaker. I took you back and Grell took Eric. I was walking back the infirmary yesterday to check on you both when I heard Eric arguing with the nurses to see you. The relationship between you two is really cool. I hope I can get that too, you know that strong mentor, student relationship."  
>Thinking about the relationship he had with Eric he couldn't hide the smile from his face. He had no idea Eric stayed with him all that time. While he didn't have to he really appreciated it.<br>"I'm sure you will. William isn't as scary as people think he is if you stay on his good side."  
>"I'll get him to open up more you'll see."<br>Joking yet seeming quite matter-of-fact about it he left Alan alone and went down the hall to, Alan could only guess, to talk to William and get work from him. Seeing Eric at his desk he wanted to talk to him, apologize for his attitude towards him earlier and thank him for making sure he was alright until he woke up. But he wanted to talk to him and not have to worry about others overhearing and getting the wrong impression. He really didn't want rumors spreading and possibly getting them in trouble for whatever reason. Plus they really should focus on work right now since they had much to catch up on from not being here yesterday and the report write up for the actual mission needed to be completed. He would catch him when they left for the day.

Knowing he had overtime but knowing Eric really wanted him to go home he gathered his things to leave. He could work on it in his kitchen. He wouldn't get paid for it but he would live.  
>"Heading home?"<br>Turning he saw Eric standing behind him waiting to lend a hand.  
>"Yes. I figured I can do this just as easily there as I can here."<br>"I'll walk with you."  
>"Okay." Normally he wouldn't have agreed since he lived further away than Eric and you basically passed it to get to his. But knowing what he did he wasn't going to argue. Besides he really wanted to talk to Eric all day.<br>"Here I'll take your stuff."  
>"I can carry them it's just a folder. But thank you." Together they left the building, the weather was warm yet overcast, Alan hoped it didn't rain until they both got home. He didn't fully realize how sore his body was until he started walking home. He didn't have any other option though, there weren't any other options. Well unless he was carried but he would never want that. He may have been smaller than others but he was still heavy.<br>"Eric, can we stop for a minute?"  
>Looking over he saw Alan behind him, he seemed to be walking slower. Nodding he led him to a bench nearby so they could sit and Alan could catch his breath.<br>"I'm sorry. For holding you up now and fighting you earlier."  
>"Don't worry about it."<br>"Ronald talked to me before. He told me what you did. Thank you for staying with me at the infirmary."  
>"It was no big deal, but you know, you really had me worried for awhile there. Did Ronald tell you what happened to you?"<br>"I don't think so."  
>"Well you're body was starting to heal by the time they got there only you had so much broken and torn you were healing wrong. The nurses had to re-break most of your body so your heart wasn't pierced by your ribs and they wouldn't stick out from your skin."<br>"Oh God."  
>"Yea." He didn't want to tell him he came to hearing Alan screaming down the hall while this took place. Hearing him in so much pain and not being to help in the slightest drove him mad.<br>"They must have given me something strong because I don't remember any of that."  
>" Not sure." From what he heard it didn't sound like it but so long as Alan didn't remember that was fine to not tell him that. "You talked to Will right? Did he mention to you about our demon?"<br>"Sort of. He told me he was upset with how we handled things but we did well all things considered. He also told me my scythe's sharpness wasn't the problem, that our demon wasn't like the standard we face and one like that surfacing troubles him."  
>"Well he hates all demons passionately so that doesn't surprise me too much. But it looks like the higher ups will have to get involved if more stop popping up. I love a good fight but never having to go against another one would be good too."<br>Feeling better Alan stood back up so they could get going again. He had a pretty good idea that he hurt more because of the weather, he would be happy to get home and relax.

Seeing his house he was ready to run to it, his body hurt more now than it had all day. Eric had offered to help support him but he really didn't want to be a bother to him and he was strong enough to walk on his own he just hurt.  
>"Are you good from here?" Standing in his doorway he heard Eric at the bottom of his stairs. He wasn't coming in?<br>"You don't want to stay?"  
>"Nah I'm gonna head home I think so you can get some rest and get to work."<br>"You don't have to and it looks like it's going to rain. I don't want you to get drenched."  
>"A little rain never hurt me. I'll see you tomorrow."<br>"See you tomorrow." He wasn't crazy about that idea but Eric already gave his famous trademark salute and started walking down the street. Walking in his place he didn't even get his kitchen lit before he noticed it was raining. A few seconds later he heard it hitting the roof pretty hard. He knew Eric was caught in it; it was at least a ten minute walk from here. Well he couldn't blame him tomorrow at work, he had offered.

Sitting at his table after making and eating dinner he decided since he was alone to put his feet up and begin work. Normally he would never put feet on furniture expect the single chair he used when he was reading; it was a dirty thing to do. Guests would sit on them, and it didn't matter if he had shoes on or not it was still wrong. He would make sure he cleaned the chair well before someone, probably Eric, came over. It only took him a couple of hours to finish up his work. With that done he decided to turn in early, he was pretty exhausted even though all he did was fill out paper. Lying in bed he stared at the far wall and couldn't get his mind to stop thinking of Eric. He was still in awe over knowing what he did for him. It really said something about their friendship and how much they meant to each other. Turning to the other wall he tried to put his thoughts together. He had grown a lot these past two years, he learned so much about life, about himself, and it was all thanks and through Eric. He wouldn't be enjoying life right now if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for their friendship. He would almost dare to go so far as to say he loved him, but as a friend of course. Just thinking about it made him smile; he would do anything for Eric no questions asked and no matter what time it was. Maybe he would take Eric out for drinks tomorrow, maybe have a couple of drinks with him, let loose for once and really thank Eric. It wasn't much he knew that but it was a start until he found another way to do it. Pulling the covers up close to his head and with a smile of a child he tried to finally keep his eyes closed.

Eric was down for drinks, he was always down for that. And seeing Alan looking better and completely recovered he agreed sooner than he would otherwise. He didn't feel the need to think Alan owed him for anything though. Worrying about each other was something friends did for each other. That was something he learned since meeting Alan. Watching him slowly drink his first beer he just smiled, he could feel it in his entire body that he couldn't lose Alan. He couldn't imagine his eternal life without him. Watching him be crushed, seeing him struggling to breath, hearing him screaming as he was hurt again so he could heal, seeing how fragile and innocent he was when he slept. How could he not have stayed by his side? Deep down he could feel that he truly cared for Alan and he hadn't thought about him as a brother in months. He doubted he loved him in "that" sort of way. Actually he didn't feel that way at all towards him but their relationship had gotten deeper. He knew he couldn't live without Alan, ever.

Eric was beyond shocked to see Alan agreeing to order a second drink. This had to be a first, his newbie was growing up, he was so proud.  
>"Here's to us being amazing at our job and kicking that demon's ass back to Hell where it belongs." Raising his glass he waited for Alan to do the same.<br>"Cheers!" He couldn't do anything but laugh as he watched Alan's face as he tried to drink more at once. Maybe some things hadn't changed.  
>"Shots next?"<br>"Umm sure. Yea why not!" Pushing his empty glass closer to the bartender he waited to see what Eric ordered for them.  
>"Alright demon let Alan go."<br>"No demon I swear. I've just decided to let go tonight."  
>"Sure sure you can't fool me. Alan would never say that."<br>"Eric, I'm being serious."  
>Eric was having a ball teasing Alan as he started to become tipsy. His face was cute as it started to blush with pink cheeks from the alcohol. Alan made a cute drunk.<p>

A couple of hours later Alan was all giggles as he leaned over to Eric who was also starting to feel the effects of the drinks he had.  
>"You know Eric, I think I like you, no, no, no I take that back. I know I like you, I like you a lot. I hate sounding clingy but I love it when you're near me." Hiccupping he lost his train of thought. Eric laughed as he wrapped an arm around Alan's shoulders.<br>"I think I like you too, you're pretty awesome Alan. You're light brown hair is so soft and straight it's like a weakness to me or something. And you're eyes, God your eyes."  
>"Eric, stop. With a huge embarrassed smile and now even pinker cheeks he pulled back a little.<br>"Well it's getting late. I should get home before I really get drunk."  
>"Oh, so soon? Party is just starting though."<br>"Don't want to overdo it."  
>"You're too much. Well okay I'll walk you home. Make sure you get there safe."<br>"Nah, don't worry about it I'll be fine."  
>"No, no, you're drunk, I should walk home with you so you don't get hurt."<br>"I'm not drunk, _*Hic*_ I'll see you later. Don't get too wasted alright." Standing and stumbling he used the bar to catch himself. "Whoops, foot slipped."  
>"See, see I told you you were drunk."<br>"No, I'm not. Bye-bye."  
>"See you later. Let me know if you change your mind." Waving behind him he made his way out of the human bar and onto the street so he could make his back to his realm and to his home. The night air felt good on his face and helped clear his head, see he wasn't drunk. Turning corner he burst out laughing as he fell from hitting a garbage can.<p>

0o0o0o0o0o0  
>I was going to let this chapter go a little further but I didn't want to screw myself for the next chapter. Please review and hope everyone continues to enjoy this story. The kind reviews truly make this day.<br>~Femalefighter~


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Alan slowly made his way down the alley so he could reach the point where he could open the portal and get back to the realm of the Death Gods. It seemed he was a little more intoxicated than he thought as his vision was slightly off, he was finding it hard to stay on his feet and not fall. It was a good thing Eric didn't come and see this. He would just tease him and never let him live it down. Even as drunk as he was he knew he could still make it home and that was the important thing. So it took him a little longer, he was in no real rush. The weather wasn't too bad either and he was in such a good mood from hanging out with Eric. Thinking about Eric made him smile again as he tried not to trip and fall. Rounding the corner he stopped as he saw a girl standing in the middle of the alley way. She looked like a mess, as if she had been beaten up or maybe she was just homeless. Something about her though sent red flags up around him, intoxicated or not.  
>"Are you hurt miss? Can I help you somehow?"<br>She took a step towards him; her eyes seemed to be glowing red. Was she a demon in disguise? Usually he felt it, perhaps the alcohol was messing with his senses more than he thought it would?  
>"You."<br>Taking a step back he was surprised her voice didn't sound demonic, was she dead? No, that wouldn't make any sense. A spirit couldn't move in a body. Spirits could roam in the human world if they held grudges or regrets but they weren't able to possess a body if the owner had died.  
>"Can I help you?"<br>"You."  
>"What about me? Do I know you?"<br>"Why?"  
>Taking another step back he felt the need to run. Why didn't he grab his weapon when he left the office? He could have hidden it at the bar, since he wasn't a rookie anymore he was given the ability to. Eric was going to have a fit if he learned of this, he told him to bring it, to always have it with you.<br>"You. Why?" She took another step towards him, and another, and another trying to close the gap between them. He backed up against a wall, shit, now what. He had to get around her; he had to leave this realm. Why did he have to be drunk now out of all times? Seeing a space he believed he could get by with he tried to focus his eyes so his vision would focus and the nauseous feeling he now had would go away. He could not afford to throw up. Taking a chance and not seeing when another one would come up he swallowed and ran for it. Hugging the alley wall he felt her reach for him, banging his elbow against the brick he dodged her and got around, running wasn't the highest rated option for a Death God but it wasn't as if he had other options at the moment. Not bothering to look behind him he continued to run until he was back in his realm. Stopping to catch his breath he quickly found a bush to throw up in. He was disgusted with himself but at least he felt better. Getting his bearing he made his way to his house. Between what happened and the alcohol he was ready for bed.

Hearing a banging Alan opened his eyes to see he was on top of the covers on his bed. Wishing the banging would stop so his head would stop pounding he slowly sat up. Looking at himself he was still in the clothes he was in last night, and he had a horrible, gross, taste in his mouth. Leaving his bedroom he slowly made his way down the hall to his front door, someone was knocking on his door. What could they want?  
>"Eric…"<br>"Finally you open up. I was starting to believe you didn't make it home last night."  
>"Oh. Come in." Moving aside he let Eric step in, he was being stared at and he had no idea why, it was creeping him out.<br>"What the hell happened to you?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"You are a mess, did you get in a fight last night or something or do you always look like this when you're hung over?"  
>Going into the bathroom to see himself in the mirror he saw what Eric was talking about. His hair was sticking up all over; his shirt was wrinkled and was that blood he saw on his clothes. Was it his or was it somebody else's?<br>"Alan what that hell happened to you after you left? I knew I should have left with you." Eric stood in the bathroom doorway holding a towel with blood on it.  
>"So it is my blood. I don't remember getting in a fight though." Lifting his arm up he showed Eric the blood on his shirt, it was on his side in the middle, this really wasn't making any sense to him.<br>"Give me your arm." Taking it he looked for any sign of possible broken skin, downside to healing ability, made it hard to figure out if you were injured in something previous. "It looks like you cut your elbow, you probably fell last night."  
>"So that wasn't a dream then." Pulling his arm back an image of last night came back to him. "It was brick."<br>"That could do it. Why don't you shower? I can make you something to help the hangover I figure your facing."  
>"Thank you, I'm sure a shower will help a lot."<p>

They sat at Alan's table while he drank a cup of tea Eric swore was a miracle worker for hangovers. It was how he managed to go out so much and be able to function for work the next day. Alan told him what he remembered from last night, about the girl. It hit him in the shower, thinking about her, and those eyes sent chills down his spine. He was curious to know if Eric had ever heard anything about it and if he did the right thing. He knew he wouldn't say a word to their co-workers about this.  
>"Sounds like demon possession to me, the eyes are usually a dead giveaway. You got lucky being in your state and unarmed. It could have ended badly."<br>"Yea but I usually feel it."  
>"Yea but you were drunk, alcohol can numb our senses just as it can a humans."<br>"Should I tell William about it then?"  
>"Nah, and if anything he already knows about it."<br>It felt good to just hang out and chat for a little while and let his hangover disperse on its own. He didn't really see it before but Eric was extremely caring and had this soothing quality to him. It did feel strange to be taken care of though; no one had ever done that for him before. Even as a kid it was the other way around, he would always be the one to take care of someone else. He liked being taken care of for once.  
>"Oh before I forgot, do you remember any conversations we had last night? For the first time in a long time I don't remember the night. I remember the shots and you leaving but that's it." Eric wasn't lying either, he really didn't remember. He must have had more to drink than he thought for him to be this bad. He felt like he told Alan something last night that he wanted to go into more detail about but he had no idea what that would be.<br>"No I don't. Then again I'm probably the worst person to ask. I don't even remember cleaning my elbow, or even realizing it was bleeding last night. The fact that I woke up in bed and not on the floor or couch surprised me." This was true, he was surprised neither of them had a one night stand with some random woman, they were drunk enough for it. If he couldn't remember it wasn't that big of a deal, it probably wasn't that important any way. His main concern was making sure Alan was alright, he woke up this morning worried about him and beating himself up for not making sure he got home safely. He had known he was a light weight when it came to alcohol and he had a lot to drink. And to hear he had come across a demon didn't help him feel better; Alan had gotten extremely lucky last night to have escaped with nothing but a scuffed elbow. He never would have been able to forgive himself is something had happened to him.  
>"Oh yea I wanted to ask, any idea why we have the day off. Seeing we just had one I was a little surprised."<br>"Will has Grell again. As punishment for his last stunt of working with that human woman to kill people that weren't suppose to die and for the hell he put Will through from the extra work it brought all of us he has loads of work to do which gives us a bit of a break."  
>"Why do I see that not working out for us though?"<br>"It probably won't. He'll screw up like he always does and we'll pick up the slack but, I'll take the time off while I can."  
>Alan wasn't going to argue with him there, they had been piled with overtime for weeks, having two days off in the same week was nice. And figuring it might be the only two days they got for awhile he would take it without complaining.<p>

Alan couldn't explain it but it felt like he was being watched. This wasn't the first time he felt this way either. Ever since he had ran into that girl he noticed it. And of course he was always alone on his reaping jobs since Grell botched up another job just as they predicted he would. They had so much work they couldn't double up if they ever hoped to finish. He really wished Eric could have joined him though; see if he felt it too. He wasn't scared that he couldn't handle it, though after what happened last time he faced a demon his confidence in his abilities dropped. He had been useless, even though William told him things had gone well considering he was still worried. And what if this girl was possessed by a demon like that one, he would be screwed on his own. He got lucky last time; he couldn't expect to get lucky again. Hopefully he wouldn't run into any trouble and the feeling of being watched was just paranoia. Maybe once he was done for the day and Eric was done they would come back here and check out the area together, see if they didn't come across anything. Looking for the next person on his list he stopped as chills ran down his back. Something was near, it didn't feel like a demon though.  
>"You." Hearing a voice behind him he turned and jumped back. It was that girl again, he was being watched.<br>"What do you want with me?"  
>"Why?"<br>"Why what! Can you tell me more?"  
>"Pay for your sins."<br>"My sins?" He barely had time to dodge as she went after him. She had to be a demon, there was no way a human could pull off the stunts she was doing. He didn't want to fight her though, if he injured her trying to expel the demon she could die.  
>"Never forgive."<br>"Please stop this. I haven't done anything to you. I don't want to fight you."  
>"Die!"<br>Watching her come back around Alan climbed the wall to get leverage. This had to end, if he didn't fight her she would continue to go after him.  
>"I'm sorry for this. I hope you find peace in heaven." Bringing his scythe down he cut across as he had been trained to do. Pulling back he watched as her pursuit stopped yet no records came from her. The blow must not have been deep enough to be fatal. The wound should be enough to make the demon leave her though; if he could find a human to help her he could get back to work. It was too early to use the roofs as an escape, that left only the alleyways. Going back the way he came he hid his weapon for a moment as he found a man walking the street and quickly told him about the girl he found a few blocks back seriously injured. With that taken care of he went back to the task he had been given originally, taking care of the "to-die" list. He needed to tell Eric about this, get his thoughts about it.<p>

Eric walked to Alan's place even knowing it was later then he would have liked. He didn't want to bother him, or even wake up if he had already turned in for the night but something was bugging him. He was worried about what Alan told him the other day, about coming across that girl. And now he seemed to be acting weird at work, not to mention how he looked sick. He was probably exhausted from all the work they had been given these past few weeks. Knowing Alan he probably agreed to more work than he could handle. Knocking on his door he waited to hear movement of some sort. He could tell Alan was still up since he could see candles still lit inside.  
>"Alan? Hey it's me." Knocking again he tried the door to see it was open, that was strange Alan always locked it. "I'm coming in." Walking inside he noticed how quiet it was, no, something was making a sound and it wasn't pen on paper.<br>"Alan?" Stepping into the kitchen he saw it was empty and the work he had been doing was neatly put away and stacked up. Had he finished and turned in for the night but forgot to blow out the lights? No, Alan wasn't that careless. Hearing an almost whimpering he left the kitchen and followed it to the living room. Alan was passed out across the couch; something didn't sit right with him though. Looking closer he saw sweat across his forehead and he was moaning as if scared by something, was he having a nightmare?  
>"Alan, hey Alan wake up." Nudging his shoulder he watched as his eyes snapped open and he jumped up grabbing his death scythe in the process. He pinned Eric against a bookshelf before he became fully aware of who he was threatening. Eric didn't try to fight with him even as the blade was inches from throat. He just stood there and waited for Alan to gather his senses.<br>"Eric?"  
>"I didn't mean to scare you. I came to talk to you. You're door was unlocked and I became worried since it didn't seem like you. I saw you on the couch, you seemed to be having a nightmare."<br>"Eric." Dropping his weapon he fell to his knees, he tried to go after Eric, what was happening to him? He was letting his fear get the best of him. Moving next to Alan and placing his hands on the other's shoulders Eric tried to get Alan off the floor. What was going on with him?  
>"Alan talk to me, you're alright I promise."<br>"Make it stop, make the nightmares stop. I… I can't handle them anymore." Hugging himself tightly with his arms he tried to pull himself together and believe that he was fine.  
>"What nightmares? How long has this been going on?"<br>Getting Alan to his feet he was able to get him to the couch. This would explain why he felt Alan looked exhausted, only it wasn't from paperwork; it was from not sleeping at night. Why didn't he say something to him sooner though? He would have put an end to them long ago. He was going to get Alan past this, let him get some sleep.  
>"Why didn't you tell me you haven't been sleeping? And how long has this been going on, since you first ran into that girl?"<br>Shaking his head he moved his legs to his chest, he needed to feel himself close together or else he feared he would fall apart completely just as his mind was.  
>"No, since the day I fought her. Eric, I'm terrified to shut my eyes. Whenever I do I see her, her eyes, her desire to kill me. Yet I can't go after her. When she attacks me it hurts, she rips me apart, I'm burning from her touch. Make it stop, for the love of God make it stop!"<br>Eric watched as Alan became hysterical in front of his very eyes, sleep deprivation was really getting to him. He needed to get him past this, get him to settle down and relax.  
>"It's the powers of the demon; they can play mind tricks on you if you let them. You need to try and keep them out so they can't get to you."<br>"But it's not a demon! I can feel a demon's aura, I can smell the stench of Hell of them and she doesn't have it! Eric I think she is a spirit!"  
>"A spirit, like one holding on to something in their world?" They were known to happen from time to time, during a natural disaster when masses were killed and the society couldn't reach them in time or if they held regrets their souls wouldn't allow the scythes' to touch them. It was a horrible thing to happen for they usually became demon food but these were the facts of life.<br>"What do I do? Eric, I can't even close my eyes without being haunted by her."  
>"I'll protect you I promise. We'll go after her together, we'll bring her peace, we'll give you both peace." Holding Alan tighter he tried to get him to relax, at least breathe a little easier. He was covered in sweat it felt like, and he was trembling, it seemed Alan was still too gentle towards souls, he should have seen this coming, it was only a matter of time. That was probably why he was able to become haunted.<br>"Why don't we get you to bed. You're body needs rest, you feel hot. We may not get sick but exhaustion can be a huge thing." Forcing Alan to pull his legs from his chest he made him stand and helped him get in bed.  
>"How did you manage all this time without someone taking care of you?" He said it and meant it as a joke but deep down he was pretty curious. Maybe it was because growing up he was always focused on his mother he didn't have the time to focus on himself he always forgot about himself? Getting Alan under his covers he watched him sit up and bunch his body up.<br>"Eric, Eric please don't go. Don't leave me. I can't handle being alone, I'm too frightened."  
>"I'll be right back, I promise. Just sit tight a minute."<br>"Eric!" Hearing Alan sound like a terrified child he left the room to go into his bathroom for a minute looking for something.

Waiting for Eric to come back felt like forever, he was alone again he knew it. He would stay awake until the sun came up; he was used to it by now. Sleep, he barely remembered what that was like anymore.  
>"I cannot sleep; she cannot harm me if I do not sleep." Mumbling to himself he held himself tighter. He froze for a second seeing someone enter his bedroom, it was her she was going to kill him. Seeing it was Eric his face lit up and his body relaxed ever so slightly.<br>"Lie down for me. We need to cool you down." Pushing Alan down he forced his hands to leave his knees so he could stretch out. Placing a cold cloth on his forehead he sat on the edge of his bed and tried to get him to close his eyes.  
>"Eric, what's happening to me?"<br>"You're being haunted. All of us face it at least once, it's a side effect of the job. You'll get past it though, you are strong enough to."  
>"It happened to you?"<br>"It did and I know it sucks but I promise you I'll keep you safe while you sleep so go ahead, shut your eyes."  
>"You'll be here when I wake up?"<br>"You bet, it's my promise to you Alan." He saw Alan shift slightly and take hold of his hand.  
>"Thank you Eric." Smiling ever so slightly he closed his eyes. Within minutes he was out cold. Staying as he was, holding the others hand he watched Alan sleep. He was still just a child. One forced to go up so fast, he never got to be an actual kid that learned how to relay on others, ask them for help, never learned how to be taken care of by someone else. Well that stopped now, he would make it a priority to take care of him, for the rest of their eternal lives. Moving to the corner of the room he sat down finding a position he was comfortable in so he could fall asleep. He wasn't going to break his promise and leave Alan alone but he couldn't stay on watch all night and he didn't want to freak him out by sleeping besides him.<p>

Alan woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking, checking the clock he saw he slept through the night for a change. His body felt better than it had in awhile. Sitting up he saw the cloth that had been on his forehead fall, smiling he dropped it in the bucket and went to see if he could lend a hand. Eric turned to the doorway hearing Alan come into the kitchen. He was looking well, that was a relief.  
>"Morning. Hope you're hungry. I'll pick up more of these later."<br>"Good morning. Smells good." Sitting at the table a plate was placed in front of him with breakfast. Joining him they both sat down to eat. It was nice to eat with someone in the morning for a change.  
>"Thank you for staying with me last night. It really means a lot to me. Did you sleep any though?"<br>"I did, fell asleep shortly after you did and woke up an hour or so ago."  
>"Good, I'm glad."<br>"When we get to work we'll talk to Will so he'll allow us to take care of your problem."  
>"Thank you."<br>While they ate Alan learned that Eric had gone through this alone and ended it alone, his mentor hadn't been to crazy about him apparently and didn't really care if he could handle it or not. He was grateful Eric wasn't like his mentor at all. Though it had sucked that he had to been forced to get past this and face the spirit alone back then he learned how to make sure it didn't happen again, something he wanted Alan to learn.

Getting permission from William took a little longer than they thought, he wasn't crazy about them both going out to take care of it knowing there was still much work that needed to get done. Eric finally managed to persuade him by getting him to understand Alan wasn't in a state to handle this on his own.  
>"We'll have to split up, she doesn't show up when we're together."<br>"Fine, I'll stay around here but promise me you won't attack her alone. Yell for me and I'll come to you. Do you understand me?"  
>"I do, I'll get you, promise."<br>"You can do this Alan I have faith in you."  
>With that they parted ways, Eric doing some useless window shopping while Alan walked down the alley hoping to draw her out. Eric really didn't like him going off on his own, anything could happen and he tagged along because Alan would always pull back when he tried to attack her it seemed like.<p>

They weren't apart long before Alan felt her eyes watching him. She was close, soon he would hear her.  
>"Come out and face me! You want me dead well come and get me!" Looking around he saw her appear through a wall, he was right she was already dead.<br>"You."  
>"Yes me. Please allow me to bring your soul peace. Before a demon finds you and makes you a meal. You don't deserve that fate."<br>"Why didn't you save me? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?" Screaming at him she went after him. So much for not doing this alone, he couldn't figure out how to yell for him when he was too focused on dodging her. At least he felt stronger then he had in weeks thanks to sleeping through the night_. *Treat her like you would a demon*_ ran through his mind as he brought his scythe up to stop her from reaching him. Pushing her back he searched for the best way to attack her. _*There, from the ground up.*_ Running towards the alley's wall he ran up it making sure his blade hit her. Slicing her up the middle he pushed her off the wall so he could back flip and land in a better position for a frontal assault. A bright light emanated from her as his blade left her a second time. It was strange that no records poured from her again though. Stepping closer he saw her face, the red had left her eyes, her face was soft, she looked like the young innocent girl she was.  
>"Please sir, don't let me die alone." Kneeling beside her he saw her hand stretch out towards him wishing he would take it. "Please don't let me die alone."<br>"I'm right here. I won't leave your side. I wouldn't want anyone to die alone."  
>Taking her hand he felt a spark run throughout him causing him to scream as he was pulled into her memories.<p>

Eric stopped walked around aimlessly as he heard a blood curdling scream come from the alleyways. Running at full force he tried to find Alan, he knew they shouldn't have split up. "Alan, where are you!" Seeing a light shoot up from an alleyway further back he ran for it, looked like cinematic records, shit. "Alan!" Getting to where he was he saw Alan standing as a soul vanished in front of him. Running to him he caught him before he hit the ground, he noticed he looked alright, maybe not as tense if anything.  
>"Alan, can you hear me?" Watching his eyes flutter open he smiled as Alan looked up at him.<br>"I did, she moved on. I'm free now."  
>"Did she hurt you?"<br>"No, I'm okay." Sitting up he did a once over of himself, the shock she gave him still pulsed through his body. He didn't know how to explain what happened when he touched her, how her memories looked so real and so full of sorrow and pain.  
>"Let's head back. Will will be happy to have us there and working."<br>"Sounds good, let's go." Taking Eric's hand he used it help stand so they could get back together. He felt amazing to no longer feels the eyes on him and he was certain with Eric's help he would never have this happen again.

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>This chapter was done in about a day! I wrote most of this on Saturday before work and did all but a few paragraphs and then I typed it before work today. I am so proud of myself. And this would have gone up late last night but the site was down apparently or something because the page to upload kept kicking me off. Next chapter probably won't go up until Thursday though so I hope you like this one. Please review, each one means a lot to me.<br>~Femalefighter~


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Freedom felt amazing; not having to worry about someone trying to go after him Alan relaxed more and more each day after he sent the soul away. Eric had stayed true to his promise and spent every day after work teaching Alan how to block out spirits. They went back and forth between their houses everyday to keep it even in who cooked and who slept on the couch. They now even kept a bag of clothes at each other's place so they didn't have to worry about borrowing pjs, not that Eric had actual clothes reserved for sleeping in anyway, but it really spoke to them about their friendship. Even without that though Alan enjoyed having someone to talk to and eat with. He knew he was a loser for being so happy with something as simple as that. Maybe he was just making up for when he was little or maybe he just hated feeling alone and never realized it until Eric entered his life. Well whatever the reason was he was happy with it and Eric didn't seem to mind that he was a loser so he wasn't going to worry about it too much.  
>Seeing Eric coming down the hall to his desk Alan went over to him before they left for the day. "Since it's my turn to cook I need to stop somewhere and pick up food. Anything you want?"<br>"Oh, shit, I forgot to tell you, I've got an assignment. I'm heading out now and I'm hoping to be back tonight but I'm not figuring on it."  
>"Well alright. Hope it goes well for you, stay safe."<br>"You're talking to me, I'm always safe See you tomorrow." Laughing at his own joke he playfully slapped Alan's shoulder as he walked past him to leave. Since they weren't going to be hanging together he would take some time tonight to practice what Eric had been going over with him these past weeks, before possibly curling up with a book before he turned in for the night. He hadn't done that in a while now that he thought about it. He had wanted to but didn't want to seem rude to Eric when he was over. Okaying his plan in his mind he set off for home, well first to get food then home.

"Hey Alan, since you usually finish early with your work do you mind sparing with me?"  
>Looking up from his desk he saw Ronald standing over him. After going out with him and Eric a few times he had to agree with what the others said, Ronald was nuts. More insane then nuts really, because he was such a party animal, he made Eric look tame in comparison. Other then knowing he couldn't keep up with him at the bar though they had become friendlier and joked around on occasion.<br>"Sure I don't mind but shouldn't you be asking William, or Grell, they are your mentors after all."  
>"Grell says he doesn't spar as to not harm his beauty; William is locked in his office. Usually I ask Eric but he is on another mission or something since I can't seem to find him and he is always telling me you'd be a better partner anyway."<br>"Oh he does now. Give me two minutes to finish this and I'll train with you, it's been awhile since I did some serious training anyway. I'll meet you there." Finishing up he grabbed his bag and went to meet Ronald in the training room. Since he wasn't a rookie training everyday wasn't mandatory unless you mentored someone that was. Since he hadn't had the free time with all the work his practice was strictly field based which wasn't always the best. And he was curious to know if what Eric told Ronald was meant as a compliment or not.

"You're terrible, my God. Another point for me."  
>"Oh come on. It's not my fault; I'm not use to using a blade. I need a weapon closer to my own." Ronald slid across the floor as Alan landed another blow on him. He felt bad for kicking his ass this badly but hopefully he was learning something.<br>"It's a good thing these aren't real or else you would be dead, actually you would have died a few times by now."  
>"I'm telling you if I could use a weapon closer to my own you'd be sorry."<br>"What's up with your scythe anyway? It's like nothing I've ever seen before." Going to offer Ronald a hand up he stopped, watching him jump up ready for more.  
>"You like, specially made just for me. It's able to reap more souls at once."<br>"So that's how you finish before we do."  
>With a wide smile he fixed the blade he was using to get it to feel more natural in his hands though he didn't see it happening. Eric warned him that Alan would be a good challenge since he had trouble keeping him at bay but he hadn't figured on it would be this bad.<br>"How did you get permission for that?"  
>"Ah Alan I have my connections."<br>"You took the women from General Affairs out didn't you?"  
>"So smart it's painful."<br>"The way your mind works is scary, yours and Eric's. I need to ask though, what is it exactly?" Looking over at it he waited to hear what it was, he had been curious for a while now.  
>"A lawnmower!" Proudly he announced what it was, let Alan admire it's beauty.<br>"A what?" He knew of a lot of things both in this world and the human one but he never heard of that. He would have to search around for more information when he had the time.  
>"A lawnmower, now prepare yourself because this time your mine!" Both took off towards each other meeting in the middle with their weapons locking. Both were focused on the other waiting for them to give out first. Ronald couldn't believe how strong Alan was, he was so tiny. Okay maybe not tiny but he didn't look bulky and he was a little shorter than most. Not to mention he didn't look scary in the slightest. Seeing that he needed to think of a new tactic he went to fight dirty.<br>"So, are you and Eric a thing?"  
>"A thing?" Surprised by the question Alan pulled back just enough for Ronald to strike, Alan, being quick on his feet easily blocked and went after Ronald. "No, we aren't a thing."<br>"Really?" He half expected Alan to say they were, they sure acted like it at times. And Eric seemed so protective over Alan, always took care of him. Maybe it was just an open relationship?  
>"We are nothing but friends."<br>"So you wouldn't care that he is dating someone from Affairs?"  
>"What?" Stopping, he slightly dropped his weapon and just moved his body to defend. Ronald really did suck. "He is dating someone?" Did that mean he had been lying about the late night missions these past few weeks, he didn't have to.<br>"I didn't think it was a secret; he's been with her for a couple weeks now. I just thought it was strange for him to be with two people at once. I saw him as a player but not like that." He really wanted to say "not with you," but figured now wasn't the time.  
>"Well we aren't together so it's not an issue!"<br>"Jealous?" Seeing Alan come after him he saw him become defensive, a side he never saw in him before.  
>"No! Now you should drop it! It's not right to talk about someone that isn't here!"<br>"You are jealous! You like Eric!"  
>"God, get over yourself! Any feelings I have for Eric are just as partners!"<br>"Partners?"  
>"Co-workers, you knew what I meant!"<br>"Ronald! Will needs you ASAP!" Eric yelled from the sidelines seeing Alan and Ronald focused on each other, weapons trembling in their hands as they were locked in attempt to get to the other. They were taking the training very seriously, it was a shame he had to end it.  
>"Eric?" "Eric!"" Both jumped back to break free from each other and see what he wanted. When did he show up, what did he hear? Ronald grabbed his things to jog out and see what Will wanted all of a sudden quickly thanking Alan as he left, also leaving him alone with Eric. Alan quickly changed knowing Eric was waiting for him, he had an odd feeling about this.<p>

"So we're not a thing."  
>"So you're dating someone from General Affairs."<br>If Eric was going to bring up what was the truth and act casual about it then so was Alan. Only he wished he hadn't done it in the hall on the way back to their offices.  
>"We're not. Oh don't act so surprised, cause you know we aren't. I swear I feel like I'm back in school sometimes."<br>"Want to be?"  
>"Want to be what? Back in school? No thanks."<br>"No, a thing. You and me. I mean we practically are anyway, Ronald isn't the first to bring it up."  
>"But we aren't technically anything but friends which is the truth no matter what anyone says. Besides you are dating someone."<br>"So you want us to be."  
>"No I don't! I never said that! Stop putting words in my mouth!"<br>"Now you're pissed at me. Is it because I didn't tell you about her? I wanted to tell you about that," He was going to say something about why he did what he did but Alan cut him off before he had the chance.  
>"You didn't have to tell me anything. But, I would have appreciated not being lied to! We may not be a couple but we're friends. You should have told me the truth from the start instead of coming up missions to get out of hanging out with me. That really hurts you know that. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not some child! I am really happy for you that you're seeing someone."<br>"I know that."  
>"No, you don't! If you did you wouldn't keep doing it!" Standing in front of Eric he stopped him from going anywhere. He wanted his point to get through to him. It felt like even though they had been friends for years, gone through so much together nothing between them changed. Eric still barely talked to him unless he dragged it out of him.<br>"Alan."  
>"No, don't do that! I'm tired of this Eric, I really am. Look, I'm going to finish my work and you'll go finish yours and then go do whatever you planned to do tonight and don't worry about me. Oh and if your dating a woman from General Affairs be nice to her. Our jobs can put her through hell sometimes and you should treat her well." With that he walked off leaving Eric in the hall. Eric was confused by what just happened, he had been teasing, just messing around with Alan. He didn't mean to make him angry. He offered to get Ronald so he could ask Alan if he wanted to hang out tonight, now that plan seemed to blow up in his face. Why did Alan get so angry, so defensive? Did he really like him? Could he be jealous, hurt even? Maybe, but he didn't get that feeling from him completely so perhaps he didn't even know he was yet.<p>

Alan sat on his bed holding his knees staring at the book by his feet but not starting at it. He couldn't help but think about what Ronald said to him. Was he really jealous about Eric being in a relationship with someone? Did he wish it was him instead of her? No, that couldn't be it. If anything it had to be that he was jealous over the fact that Eric was in a relationship and he wasn't. That was highly possible since he wanted to be in relationship, one like he read about. He wanted to have someone to talk about anything at any time of day with, someone to laugh with, to cry with, someone to hold him close when they slept, or to just to cuddle with at night. That's what he wanted above anything else. He wanted his first kiss to be with the right person, not just some stranger he knew nothing about. He wanted his first everything to be with the right person. With only one chance to do it right he had to make sure he would regret nothing. The more he thought about what he wanted, what he was looking for he realized he already had it. Well more or less anyway, Eric was that person he felt safe with. He could talk to him about anything and whenever he needed an ear. But they were friends, not lovers; he didn't really see Eric like that did he?

Moving "Daydream" closer to his hand with his foot he opened it to his favorite part. He had read this book so many times he could open it to any line he wanted basically. His eyes easily found the paragraph he wanted. The main character, Suzanne, was running through the woods as fast as she could despite the danger lurking inside of it. _She was running to her closest friend's place, just finding out people were hurting her she needed to feel safe. Though the thought of involving him pained her, she cared for him too much to ever cause him pain. Hearing her banging on his door he quickly let her in and held her tight refusing to let ever let her go even before he knew of what was going on. Getting it out of her he swore to protect her, find a way to keep her safe.  
>"Suzanne, I want you to know something. I love you, I have always loved you. I'm sorry I never told you sooner but now you know and know I'm not going anywhere, ever, unless you tell me to." Kissing away her fears and tears he hugged her closer letting her feel his warmth and love that radiated from him.<br>"I have always loved you too, from the moment I met you. Only I was too naïve to see it as love. But deep down I'm certain I've always known."  
>"I would do anything for you." Moving her lips closer to his own he let his hidden feelings for her finally surface and flood through them. No matter what happened next they would be there for each other. At this moment they felt as if they could live forever, even if their bodies perished their souls would still find each other in the next life.<br>_Alan snapped the book shut as he was hit with something, something he had probably always known but was too scared to acknowledge, he was in love, he was in love with Eric Slingby. He had always loved spending time with Eric, loved feeling him near, loved feeling safe and protected by him, loved how Eric wanted to care for him, be with him. But they couldn't be together now, Eric was already with someone, he had waited too long, missed his chance. Lying in bed he bunched up feeling a slight pain in his chest, tears came to his eyes. He was in love with someone he couldn't have. And he wasn't the type of person to cause them to break up. This pain must be the pain of heart break, what a terrible feeling. Probably, the worst in the world.

The next day he focused on acting like nothing was discovered last night, that he wasn't in love with Eric. He did his best to act normal and try not to avoid him yet avoid him so he wouldn't say anything stupid. It helped seeing William had given him a good amount of things to work on, help his mind not to overload with what it learned last night. Stopping for a moment he flexed his wrists, they were really bothering him today for some reason. Normally he never had problems with them but today they felt sore. Wait a minute, he sparred with Ronald yesterday and they both put a lot of effort into it. He probably just pulled a muscle or something, the way Ronald was swinging so widely he probably hit his wrists. Not to mention that he hadn't sparred in so long that his body probably wasn't used to it. With that figured out he went to grab some lunch. Heading to the cafeteria he rotated his wrists hoping they would crack because they were starting to become a bother and he still had work to do.  
>"Hey Alan, you alright." Running up behind him Eric walked with him to take his lunch as well. Noticing him moving his wrists he questioned him about it.<br>"Oh, Eric, this is from paperwork and training with Ronald I think. I'll be fine."  
>"Someone is getting old."<br>"If I'm old your ancient then." Seeing Eric start to laugh Alan had to catch himself from blushing at how beautiful; Eric's smile and laughter was. He had always seen it, always knew it was but now it felt new, different.  
>"You seem strange today, you sure everything is okay?"<br>"Yea, positive, just swamped that's all."  
>"Well alright. Let me know if you need anything okay."<br>"Sure thing."  
>Hitting his back he went to see what looked appealing in the cafeteria and let Alan do the same. Grabbing a simple salad he sat down to play with it before Eric rejoined him at the table and possibly Ronald. To be honest he felt strange and not all that hungry anymore. All these thoughts about Eric and acting cool was starting to get to him. This day could not end fast enough.<p>

Changing out of his work shirt he saw something under his cuff buttons.  
>"What is this?" Looking closer her saw what looked like a bruise or something on his wrist. Now curious he un-did the other cuff to see almost the exact same mark on his left wrist as well. It seemed strange that he didn't remember getting hit there yesterday but he must have. Shrugging it off he finished changing and went to go make dinner for himself, he was starving from not eating lunch. He wasn't going to worry about it all night, it was pointless. He would sleep tonight and it would be gone by tomorrow when he woke up. He had been injured enough to know that much.<p>

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>The reviews are lovely and make me smile and help keep me going though know that I don't base when I update off them. With that though please review and thanks for reading. See you next chapter.<br>~Femalefighter~


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

The next morning Alan woke up feeling pretty good. He had this pretty amazing dream last night. In the dream he was in a relationship with Eric and they were both really happy from being with each other. Dating each other only enhanced the relationship they had shared for years. With the dream he decided that he wasn't going to shy away from the truth. While he wasn't going to come between Eric and whoever he was dating he wasn't going to avoid him. If Eric found out he found out, they would acknowledge it and move on. Hiding from everything would only come back to bite him he was certain of that. Going into the kitchen he reached for a coffee mug and saw the bruise still on his wrist; that was strange. Setting the mug down he pulled his wrist closer to take a better look at it, it was odd that a bruise lasted this long. Applying just a slight amount of pressure he winced and pulled his hand away as a sharp pain ran through it. It felt like someone ran needles through his wrist. Curious but figuring he would be sorry he did the same thing to the other one. Right in his assumption he shook them out, whatever Ronald did to him was more than just a simple hit. He probably hit his nerves and did more damage than just bruising. If he had time he would stop by the infirmary and see if they had any ideas to have it heal faster. He used his hands for everything and not having them bother him was a must.

Seeing the giant stack of paperwork waiting for him on his desk he forgot about getting looked at today. This paperwork and having to reap meant no spare time what so ever and probably for a while too. There had been so much going on in London he wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't one soon.  
>"Alan, ready to go?" Eric came up beside him holding their weapons.<br>"You're joining me?"  
>"Everyone is going in groups. A few came back injured last night, all of this work is from that."<br>"Demons?"  
>"We aren't sure but most likely. Will won't let anyone go alone until we are certain about what is going on. A lot has been going on in the Underworld, that kid with the demon butler is probably causing trouble for us again. That kid can really be a pain."<br>"What kid?"  
>"Come on I'll tell you on the way."<br>Taking his weapon from Eric and gathering their lists they took off. He was interested to know more about what Eric was talking about.

So far they hadn't spotted any demons but the wake of destruction was immense. A giant fire in the East End took so many lives. Alan didn't think a kid could do this, influenced by a demon or not. The area from what he gathered was low end and filled with drugs among poor children working hard to survive. But still something so devastating wasn't something they deserved.  
>"Did you want to split up or stay together?"<br>"Let's stay together just in case. Whether the kid is involved or not the demon could still show up. There are a lot of souls here."  
>"Okay." Together they ran towards the flames and the souls that needed to be collected. They weren't scared of being burned; fires weren't all that dangerous for them so long as they didn't decide to go swimming in them. The more Alan looked at what happened the more he saw this being more human error than anything else. Hearing Eric shouting something he saw him run passed him grabbing his arm with him.<br>"Eric, what's going on?" It wasn't like him to run away from anything.  
>"Fireworks."<br>He no sooner got the words out of his mouth as the building went up in a huge ball of fire and lights. The colors were pretty and all but it wasn't getting anything done.  
>"The whole place was loaded with them. That's probably explains how the other two got hurt. I'll bet the whole area was littered with them. One went up and the others caught as well since they are close together." Waiting for the explosions to stop a little they got back to work. They still had a lot of work to do and this was only slowing them down.<p>

Alan stopped to flex his hands for a moment; the pain on them was making it hard to hold his scythe. This was ridiculous, he needed to get better and he needed to do so now. Re-gripping the handle he tried grabbing it a little differently to see if that would help. Not really but the pressure seemed to decrease a little. He needed to get done here and go home; maybe if he applied heat and wrapped it would heal faster. Crossing another name off the list he realized there was still a lot of work to do. For now it looked like he would just have to deal with the pressure and stay focused on the task at hand. At least they didn't have to fight anyone, he wasn't sure he would be able to do as well in a fight as he would if he wasn't injured.

By the time all the souls were collected Alan could barely hold his scythe. It looked like the paperwork would have to put on hold for now.  
>"You alright, you seem exhausted?" Eric came up beside him noticing the sweat that shined off Alan's face.<br>"Yea it's nothing. I think Ronald damaged a nerve in my wrist the other day. It's taken a bit longer to heal, and this mission didn't seem to help."  
>"You should have told me I would have divided the work differently."<br>"It's fine, really. Besides it wasn't an issue when we started."  
>"Even so you should have brought it up. Now come on let's get out of here. The smoke is starting to give me a headache."<br>"Sounds good to me." Allowing Eric to take his weapon they walked side by side down the street. For Alan this was fine, as long as he got to be close to Eric he was happy. No, he was wrong; it wasn't fine, he wasn't happy. He still felt alone because he was so close yet so far from something, from someone he truly wanted. Feeling the pain in his chest he tried to stop thinking about it, he couldn't dwell on what he couldn't have. He refused to cry, to show Eric the truth this way.  
>"You up from a few drinks, or is your hand bothering you too much?"<br>"No I'm up for that."  
>"That's good; it feels like we haven't done that in a while." It did feel like it had been a while, this time though he wasn't getting drunk no matter what. He had too much work to do tomorrow to deal with a hangover. And he wasn't up to saying anything he would regret later thanks to being intoxicated. <em>That<em> was all he needed later. Eric was glad Alan agreed to come out with him; he wanted to explain himself for yesterday and for why he chose to lie to him in the first place. He was never crazy about lying to him but he had gone against his better judgment. He felt having at least a beer in him would help express his thoughts better, loosen him up a bit. Sure they had been friends for years now but he still held back his thoughts and he knew Alan deserved better than that from him.

"You sure you're alright Alan you're hardly drinking anything?"  
>"What? Yea, just not in the mood for this as I thought."<br>"Want to head back then?"  
>"No, I'm content here."<br>"Scared you'll get drunk again? I promise I won't leave you like I did last time."  
>"You know me too well." Joking back he just smiled as he forced a sip down his throat. That idea worked well for him.<br>"Well since you're sober I want to bring something up with you."  
>"Okay."<br>"About what I did, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to feel like things between us would change if you knew."  
>"That wouldn't have happened. But, being lied to for weeks makes me feel great just you know." So he remembered what happened when Ronald first started hanging out with him; that was so long ago, he had grown up a lot since then. How could he be in love with someone that barely knew him?<br>"I probably knew that but I still worried, you're too important to me to lose. I didn't want to see you cry again."  
>"You're still,"<br>"treating you like a child, I know. Sorry. But I don't see you as one."  
>"Well thanks, make me happy to hear." Going back to looking into his beer he tried to hide the attitude his voice was starting to carry.<br>"I see you as much more than that."  
>"Oh really?" He knew he was failing at not blushing from hearing that, maybe Eric was tipsy and wouldn't notice.<br>"I see you as much more than that, so much more." Smiling he moved a little closer, he could see the blush in Alan's cheeks. God he was gorgeous and in more than just looks. Taking his hand he gently took hold of Alan's chin, saw into the beautiful green-yellow eyes that always showed the soul of God's perfect creature.  
>"E…Eric? What are you" He was cut off as Eric's lips touched his own. He knew he should pull away, that Eric wasn't thinking clearly, but he couldn't. His heart wouldn't let him as it exploded in joy; this was what he waiting for. But not like this, this was wrong. He didn't want to be <em>that<em> person. Pulling away he tried to avoid Eric's confused and lost expression as he pulled out money to cover his drink and forced himself not to run until he was out of the bar.  
>"Alan!" Not sure how much he just threw down he ran after him. Had he read him wrong? Were his feeling one sided? "Alan, wait up!" Running down the street he grabbed his hand and stopped him from going any further.<br>"What do you think you're doing, let me go!" He couldn't turn to face him, he didn't want him to see the pain he was in from walking away.  
>"I'm sorry. Just hear me out."<br>"Hear you out? You just kissed me! You're obviously not all there from drinking."  
>"That's not it."<br>"That's not it? What kind of fool do you take me for Eric? Honestly, I swear you can be so stupid for thinking I would allow yo," He spun around to face and get his point across only be cut off and rendered speechless.  
>"I love you Alan!"<br>"…W…what? No, no you don't!"  
>"Yes I do. I've loved you for awhile now. I tried so hard not to because of our jobs. I knew that if I fell for you I would always worry about you instead of the assignment. Only that plan backfired by making me love you more. I only started dating the woman from Affairs in hopes to fall out of love with you. Turns out it didn't work like I planned."<br>"Eric. I." He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. Eric Slingby just told him he was in love with him. Their feelings were mutual, he didn't have to be scared by them anymore.  
>"You what, don't feel the same way? I understand and know I'm sorry for putting you in an awkward situation.<br>"No, Eric, I love you too."  
>"You do?" He smiled and let his shoulders drop to relieve some of the pressure he was holding in them. Hearing that made him happier then he thought possible. He had been terrified his actions had ruined everything until a moment ago.<br>"It took me a long time to realize and when I did I feared I missed my chance. I think I have loved you for a long time but was to naïve to see it as that."  
>Eric pulled Alan's body closer to allow their lips to meet again only this time he hoped they met for a bit longer. Alan grabbed the back of Eric's jacket to stand taller. He couldn't explain what it felt like to be this close to Eric, to feel his lips on his own, to feel the heat that came off him, to feel his arms wrapped around him. For the first time in his life he was grateful he wasn't a human; that they could be together for so many years, so many centuries. Feeling Eric pull back slightly he tried to bring him back.<br>"Don't worry I'm not leaving, do you mind if we take this somewhere a little more private?"  
>Alan couldn't stop his face from exploding into a giant blush as Eric whispered to him.<br>"No, I was just thinking that."

Eric led Alan inside his house and towards the bedroom. He wasn't hoping for things to get that far but his bed would allow them the space to get comfortable. Even, if they just made out or even relaxed in each other's arms. He could feel how nervous Alan was as he saw him down.  
>"I promise I won't do anything you don't want to do. I'm just happy to have you here with me." Bringing him closer his lips gently moved up and down Alan's neck. He could feel the pleasure he got just from this. Feeling Alan's hand carefully grab his head he pulled away to have Alan passionately kiss his lips. The passion he got from him was unlike anything he had ever gotten before. This must be what true love felt like. Alan's hands went for his jacket and tried to pull it off, without question he allowed it and helped him take it off. Feeling him try to undo his tie even more and go for his shirt buttons he pulled back just enough to make sure this was what he truly wanted.<br>"Alan, are you sure about this?"  
>"Yes. Just be gentle, please."<br>"Anything for you."  
>Pushing him back on the bed they took off each other's glasses and Eric found himself getting lost in the other's eyes. Alan was really his, they were each other's and nothing and nobody would ever change that.<br>"Eric?" Hearing his sweet voice he pulled out of his thoughts and focused solely on the person he was with. The person he loved so much, the one he would do anything for.

Alan laid in bed beside the one he loved, the one he just gave himself to. He couldn't be happier.  
>"Alan, are you alright? Did I hurt you? I tried my hardest not to."<br>Rolling to his side he smiled at Eric before moving closer to rest his head on his chest. The smile grew as he felt Eric's arms wrap around him holding him closer, holding him tighter.  
>"No, I'm okay. You didn't hurt me at all."<br>"Good, I'm glad to hear it." Nuzzling his face into Alan's shoulder he inhaled deeply, taking in the beautiful scent of his lover. Alan moved his head to get comfortable and to hear the strong heart of the one the one that held him, of the one he loved so much. He couldn't have been happier with how the night played out, he regretted nothing just as he had hoped for.  
>"Falling asleep Alan?"<br>He didn't want to but he found it hard to keep his eyes open. His body had never been this relaxed before nor this comfortable.  
>"Mmmhmm."<br>"Sweet dreams then. See you in the morning."  
>Smiling at how true and perfect that sentence was he allowed his mind to start to drift off.<br>"See you in the morning. I love you."  
>"I love you too."<br>Gently running a hand through Alan's hair he noticed how soft it was just like the rest of him. Listening to Alan's breath become softer and softer he attempted to fall asleep as well. He couldn't believe he was really sleeping with Alan, the person his whole body was in love with. He really hoped this wasn't some dream for it was he never wanted to wake up. He had waited so long for this day and it had been worth it without a doubt. He never loved anyone as much as he loved Alan and he would never love anyone else. Not that he had to. They could stay together forever; they had so many years ahead of the, it was exciting to think about. He hoped every night was as wonderful as this one and something told him it would be.

Alan woke up first to see Eric still holding him tightly yet sleeping soundly. At least he looked comfortable meaning he hadn't been heavy while he slept on him for part of the night. Not comfortable with the idea of getting up with nothing on and Eric possibly seeing that he searched for something from where he was in bed. He knew they had just slept together but the idea still bothered him. Finding his pants he slipped them on so he could go into the bathroom and shower. As he let the warm water run over him he saw the marks on his wrists, they seemed to have gotten worse. Reaching outside of the shower for his glasses he slipped them on so he could see them better. Taking another look, sure enough they had, it seemed there was a thin line starting to run up his arm now. It wasn't far up his arm, maybe an inch or to but still it was there. How was that possible? And how was it affecting both of his wrists? Was it some sort of infection, or allergic reaction?  
>"What is going on? What is this?"<p>

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>Wrote this chapter in a day I am proud of myself. Typed it the following day because I was tired but still Yay for me! The reviews are lovely and please know if I don't reply back to it that doesn't mean I love it any less that means I want to but am probably on my phone and it's a pain to do so. I love you guys and hope you continue to enjoy this story for I know I certainly am.<br>~Femalefighter~


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Eric walked into his kitchen seeing Alan leaning against a counter holding a cup of coffee. It seemed he had been up for a while since he was dressed for the day. He personally had an old pair of pants on just so he could leave his bedroom.  
>"Morning. How do you feel? Sleep well?" Moving in hoping to kiss him he was stopped as Alan shifted.<br>"Good morning. I feel fine. I slept well, you're bed is surprisingly soft."  
>"I've been telling you that."<br>Rolling his eyes he handed Eric a cup of coffee he made for him once he heard him moving around in the bedroom. Staying where they were for a moment they were focusing in on their thoughts, for some reason this didn't feel like the morning after they slept together for the first time. It felt like they had been living together for years, it actually felt quite nice.  
>"What's that smell?"<br>"Oh shit, breakfast." Placing his cup down Alan moved to the stove to lift the lid. Good, it didn't look messed up.  
>"You made breakfast?"<br>"I know you have strict guest rules about your kitchen but deal with it." Alan jumped in his spot as felt Eric wrap his hands around his waist and place his head on his shoulder.  
>"For you I'll allow it. Please tell me it's almost ready."<br>"Just about. But that won't help." He started to squirm and laugh as Eric kissed the crook of his neck. "Do you do this to all the people you bring home with you?"  
>"You're actually the first person I've ever allowed in or brought here for the night."<br>"You're such a liar and a terrible one at that."  
>"I'm not lying. I've never brought anyone home with me. Ever." Having Alan face him he let him see the truth.<br>"So you're telling me you've never slept with anyone before, not even the woman from affairs?" No way, not after seeing the confidence Eric had in bed and what he did.  
>"Now I didn't say that. You weren't my first in that department but we go elsewhere." That was the truth, he had a system, take the woman out to dinner, walk her home, and hopefully get invited in. if not then nothing happened. He could tell he surprised Alan with that piece of information.<br>"You're terrible you know that." Going to turn back around he was stopped.  
>"I told you I see you as much more, I meant it in everything Alan. I want you to know that. I may have been with others before you but I won't be with any after."<br>Alan didn't think Eric knew how happy those words made him and allowed him to say what he had been thinking about since he got out of the shower.  
>"I don't want you to stop seeing…whoever it is you're seeing." Thinking about it he realized he didn't know her name. He figured he wouldn't lie about her, neither would Ronald but he didn't know who she was. He also wasn't crazy about saying this, he didn't want to <em>that<em> person but it was for the best.  
>"Alan, what are you saying?" He had to missing something here, he loved him, he wanted to be with him and no one else. Surely Alan wanted that to.<br>"Think about it, if people found out about our relationship it could end up hurting us. If William found out we were together do you really think he would allow us to work together. I hardly see you as it is now, why make it even less."  
>He did have a point but still, he didn't want to be with anyone else. He also didn't want to be paired with anyone but Alan.<br>"Fine I won't dump her, to the public we'll continue to just be friends. But understand I'm not going to give you up nor the feelings I have for you. Remember that I love you."  
>"I won't, what we do behind closed doors shall remain our business but I just think this way is for the best. And, well, I just have one last request. Maybe I've become a jealous person but I don't want you sleeping with her. I figure you already have but I can't handle the thought of you sleeping with her after we were. I can't handle you with someone else like that."<br>Smiling he tenderly kissed Alan's lips, let him know not to worry.  
>"You have my word, from this day on you'll be the only one ever sleep with."<br>"Thank you."  
>With that Alan turned back to the stove to get breakfast off the heat so they could eat before they had to head off to work.<p>

Alan sat on Eric's bed watching him finishing getting ready to go, seeing the half pride Eric seemed to have for his appearance at the office made him smile.  
>"How are your hands by the way?" Trying his tie he looked at Alan from the mirror, he had forgotten about that until he pulled his gloves out of his jacket's pocket.<br>"Better than they were last night. Though I think they are still healing."  
>Turning around he gently took Alan's hand in his own to softly kiss the back of it and slowly move to his wrist. Scared he would see the marks on the other side Alan pulled his hand away. He didn't want to make Eric worry over nothing. "Let's not start something we don't have time to finish."<br>Knowing Alan wouldn't let him even try to change his mind he composed himself and grabbed his jacket from behind the door.  
>"Fine, well let's go then."<br>Agreeing he stood up and followed Eric out of his house.

At lunch he decided to detour to the infirmary, see if they couldn't give him any idea as to what it was. He was a little worried that it was something more than nerve damage since the marks had increased but he wasn't planning on freaking out from it. Having Eric get him something from the cafeteria that he could eat at his desk, just in case, they parted ways. The infirmary was pretty quite as it usually was giving him hope that this wouldn't take long. A few nurses were free once they finished on a reaper trainee, he was glad that was rarely him back then. Taking him in the back he sat on the examining table and went over what he believed was wrong.  
>"And the pain is only when pressure is added or you use your hands for long periods of times?"<br>"I believe so. That's when I feel it at least."  
>"Alright let me see your wrists please Mr. Humphries."<br>"Of course." Taking off his coat he unbuttoned his cuffs to show his wrists to the nurse. Having him wince as she gently placed a finger to the marks before writing something down on his chart.  
>"And you said it looked like it increased?"<br>"Yes."  
>"Well it looks like you have an internal injury for sure. The bruise getting worse is probably from the strain you're putting on them. I can give you a remedy for the pain but you need to take it easy so your wrists can heal. A few days I gather at most."<br>That was easier said than done, did she have any idea how much paperwork he still had waiting for him?

Joining Eric and Ronald in the cafeteria he was glad to see a sandwich pushed in front of him and it looked like it was made just as he liked it. Eric was the best.  
>"So why did they say?"<br>"Not to use my wrists for a few days. Not really possible but I'll try it."  
>"Well I'll help you out so you can take it easy."<br>"What happened to your wrists Alan? Did you get hurt on your mission yesterday?"  
>"No I didn't, it's nothing. Ronald I'm fine."<br>"You broke him Ronald; your horrible sword skills damaged his wrists. You should be become his slave."  
>"What? Alan is his serious? Did I really hurt you? I am so sorry!" Ronald went wide eyed and apologized again and again not hearing a word of this before.<br>"No you didn't, I'm fine really. Don't listen to Eric." While he ate and joked around he decided to stop by the library after work, he didn't believe the nurse. It just didn't make sense, why would the markings on both his wrists be identical? Obviously the nurses were missing something and did they really expect him to not work for three days minimal? William would never approve that and Eric had his own work to do he couldn't worry about helping him do his.  
>"I can make due on my own, thanks though."<br>"Are you sure? If you need anything let me know, alright Alan."  
>"Sure but don't worry about it." He could tell Eric wanted to say something, probably wanted to use work as an excuse for them to get together. It was hard to make sure he didn't slip up about them now being together, or flirt, or say something inappropriate. This secret lovers business was harder then he thought. Lovers, it still sounded so strange to him, so unbelievable. He was actually in a relationship with someone, him, the shy one, the awkward one, that one that had been alone for so many years was dating someone. He may not be able to be public about it but that didn't matter to him. He didn't have to flaunt it to be happy about it.<p>

Eric went to meet Alan and head out for the night. He had been serious at lunch about helping him so he could heal knowing how much his hands bothered him after awhile. And he knew he still had work to do so Alan probably did as well, he wanted to spend as much time as he could with. For months he fell further and further in love with him, now that he wasn't fighting it anymore he wanted to be with him whenever he could.  
>"Good to go?"<br>"Actually, I have something to do. William asked me to do some research for him. But he wants it to stay a secret so please don't say anything to him."  
>"More work? Alan you really need to tell him no."<br>"It's not that bad. I'll see you tomorrow." Parting ways he headed to the library. Lying to Eric wasn't what he wanted to do but he would probably overact. He probably would say he should just listen to the nurses and take it easy, but he couldn't just believe it was nerve problems, not when the pain came and went throughout the day. But it was the marks, the identical markings that bothered him the most. Stepping into the library he couldn't believe how long it had been since he had last been here.  
>"Ah Mr. Humphries haven't seen you around here lately. We all started to believe we upset you."<br>"Hello ma'am good to see you again." Heading to the reference section he stopped and turned back towards her. She could help him find what he was looking for much sooner.  
>"Ah yes we have those here, come, follow me. But may I ask what for. They aren't books we see used every day."<br>"I'm doing some research for William but it's supposed to be kept a secret, so please, if you wouldn't mind."  
>"Of course Mr. Humphries. You have my word. Also for you I'll allow you to take what you need out of here. I trust you with them and I doubt anyone will be looking for it."<br>"Thank you." Pulling out of the books she mentioned he was glad he could bring this home, one was huge and would take hours to go through. Bringing them to the one table he started with this. He had no idea they would be this many things listed as "illnesses" for them. Getting sick was so rare, perhaps these were all things they could catch based off of injuries?

Realizing he was quite hungry and the library was planning to close soon he gathered his things to leave. He had written a few things down but there were still a few more he wanted to go through. None of the descriptions so far answered his biggest question, what cause those marks. Getting back home he placed the books on his coffee table so they wouldn't get dirty while he made and ate dinner. He debated going back to work on it, work in general, or just relax. Thinking about it he decided to relax and continue his research, he could easily do both. Grabbing his notebook and the book he was working on his curled up in his comfy chair in the living room and got back to work.

Reaching for another book on his table he felt himself getting closer to the answers he was looking for. Flipping through a book he found what he was missing, the picture in the book closely resembled what he had on his wrists and the description of symptoms he narrowed down and properly named were here as well. Bingo. Sliding off the chair he kneeled in front of his coffee table making sure everything matched. Flipping back to the pervious page his eyes jumped to what it was called. Reading what it said his body froze, this had to be wrong; he had to be looking at the wrong thing. Double checking all of his information he pushed everything back before sliding backwards away from the table stopping when his back hit the chair he had been sitting in just before. Holding his knees he sat bunched up on the floor trying to remember to breathe. He wanted to be wrong, he wanted to his data to be wrong, to have read the wrong page, he couldn't be reading this right, he couldn't have contracted the Thorns of Death, anything but that. Shoving his head into his knees he began to cry. How he wished Eric was here with him right now. He was terrified of the future, if he remembered correctly William had once said there was no cure for this. He was going to die. Why? Why now? Why now that he was happy with his life? He had someone to live for, someone to spend forever with. What had he done to deserve a fate like this?

Somehow he made it to his bedroom and laid on top of his covers like a child did when they were upset. He had stopped crying but feared he would start again if his mind took over. He had debated forcing his body to move and take him to Eric's place but the more he thought about it the more he decided to stay put. While he wanted to feel Eric's warm and strong arms around him, holding him close, helping him accept his death he realized he didn't want to tell him. If he was going to die he didn't want to sit around and wait for it. He wanted to continue living as best he could until his body gave out. That was it then, he wouldn't tell anyone. Not William, Ronald, nor Eric; especially not Eric. They could stay the same, happy; Eric could continue to believe they had forever together. He wanted to believe in forever too. If they dwelled on the time he had left, however long that was he would waste so much time. Bunching himself in the covers he tried to sleep for the night. Maybe this whole thing was just a nightmare. Just something his mind concocted out of his worry. Perhaps when he woke up tomorrow he would see everything was fine. Hoping that was it he forced his mind to shut off for the night. He had a lot of work to do tomorrow; he needed to get some rest.

Eric sat on Alan's couch just hanging out with him for the night. Alan had been working on the thing for Will for the past week which stopped them from spending any time with each other. The last time they had gotten together was the night they slept together, so much for having a closer relationship. Putting his empty cup on the coffee table, after placing it on a coaster of course, he noticed a huge book sitting there.  
>"Doing some light reading Alan?"<br>"Hmm? Oh that, it's for William."  
>"You have to carry that? Holy, how big is it?" Picking it up he thumbed through it.<br>"Over a thousand pages I believe." It covered cures for everything, or rumored cures. It carried something for the Thorns of Death but it was listed as a legend so he hadn't bothered to do more research about it. Plus, he would have to kills innocent people, he could never do that. He was still looking but that was all he found so far. He didn't want to believe there really was nothing out there for him but death.  
>"Can you tell me what you've been researching for him?"<br>"Nope. Sorry still a secret."  
>"Come on. I won't say a word."<br>"No, William would have a fit." Moving closer to him he took the book from him and placed it back on the table. Taking Eric's arm he wrapped it around himself allowing their bodies to touch and cuddle against each other. This was what Alan had been waiting for since they had last been together. He was glad Eric dropped by tonight, he had missed him. Eric shifted his body just enough to allow their lips to meet. Soon the fire inside of them for each other burned a little brighter, Alan's body gave the okay Eric's had been waiting for to make out on the couch. He allowed Eric to come over him and sink him into the seat cushions. He wanted to feel Eric as close as possible, to make sure he really wasn't alone anymore. Since the other day he had felt so alone, no one he knew understood death and what it felt like to die. Slowly pushing Eric off him they sat up, taking his hand he led them to the back. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life, this love, this passion, this wanting of the other, this feeling of his lover over and around him completely. This was what made him truly happy. And that was all he ever wanted from this life. Happiness.

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Plan to start the next chapter very soon. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the reviews and love it definitely helps.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Eric pulled Alan closer to him as they both laid in Alan's bed. The room was dark except for the full moon coming in through the windows; they hadn't bothered to light any candles when they came in earlier. Resting a hand on Alan's hips his fingers glided over his lover's smooth skin, he didn't remember ever feeling anything as soft. Rolling over to meet Eric's eyes Alan's face held a bright, always beautiful smile. God he was butter when Alan was so close. Moving his hand he stroked Eric's face, felt his goatee tickling his palm. His heart was racing knowing Eric was his, that these moments were real. They were the only thing that kept him grounded right now, kept him from hands down believing that this was a dream.  
>"I love you." The words seemed to dance off Alan's tongue. Feeling Eric move a little closer to kiss him he forced his emotions to control themselves.<br>"I love you too."  
>"Eric, can I ask you something?"<br>"Of course." Slowly kissing Alan's lips he made his way to his cheek, and then ear. Taking in each feeling he got from each part.  
>"What would you do if I died? If I didn't get a forever like we hope for and know?"<br>Eric pulled away and sat up at hearing such a thing. Why would Alan have a thought like that in his mind?  
>"Why would you ask something like that? You'll be fine. The nurses said it was nothing didn't they?" Taking Alan's hands he had him sit up and went to kiss his wrists finally seeing the marks on them.<br>"Alan, these look terrible. No wonder you've been in pain. Did they give something for that? I forgot if you told me that other day or not." The light may not have been in the best but he could see well enough.  
>"They did; an herbal remedy that I'm to add to my morning coffee or tea. But, could you please answer the question for me?"<br>"I don't know, I've never thought about it because I haven't had to. What brings this up?"  
>"I've just been thinking that's all."<br>"You've been reading too much, we have to get you out more and if you're worried about fighting you shouldn't. You've gotten much stronger these past few years."  
>"Maybe. Can I ask you something else?"<br>"Does it have to deal with death?" Joking he tried to get back the mood they just had between them. He didn't like hearing and/or seeing Alan so serious.

Shaking his head 'no' he moved a little closer. "What made me so special to end up with the great Eric Slingby?"  
>Joining in the playful mood he played with their hands.<br>"Just that, thinking I'm so great."  
>"Oh really?"<br>"Yes really." Leaning over he pinned Alan under him, both laughing. He could see the pink starting to form on his partners face, he hoped he never stopped making him blush.  
>"Come on be serious with me."<br>"It's as I've told you before, you're different then everyone else. From the first time I met you I knew you unlike the others. That you would be the one to make this eternal life worth something, to make it seem so bad."  
>"I bet you tell that to all the people you're with." Smiling up at Eric he stole a kiss.<br>"Just certain ones." Stealing his kiss back they stayed together an extra minute. All joking aside they both truly loved each other and wanted the other to always know that. When then separated both locked and became lost in the other's eyes. Their souls danced for the other to see.  
>"Can I ask you another question?"<br>"You are full of them tonight aren't you?" Going back to sitting he brought Alan up with him. Holding his hands he gently massaged his wrists once he was certain he wasn't hurting him. Every so often he was hit with a sharp pain but he managed to hide it from him.  
>"Do you think we moved to fast? I mean we hadn't even been together for an hour before we slept together."<br>"Having regrets?"  
>"No, not really. Maybe I'm just scared to mess this up."<br>"Well usually a date comes first. We can still do that you know. Go out, just us. Something nicer then a bar."  
>"What if we stayed in? Just had a nice dinner together?"<br>"That counts too. How about it, want me to cook dinner for us tomorrow? I'm off so I could go all out."  
>"I don't want you to go through all the trouble."<br>"What trouble? That's it then it's settled, my place tomorrow, come as soon as you get out of work."  
>Seeing he couldn't argue with him he agreed and rested his head on his shoulder. Eric was too good for him. Not when he was dying and may not get the chance to do the same for him. They stayed as they were a while longer before falling asleep for the night.<p>

Alan opened his eyes hearing Eric asleep with his arms around him. Even asleep he could feel the love and compassion coming from him. Turning to face him his hand came up and gently touched his lovers face. Before he started crying he kissed him and pulled away to sit up. Using the moonlight he found his pants to leave the room. Making his way into the kitchen he poured himself a glass of water to help clear his mind only to have to fall from his hands. He couldn't even hug himself as it hurt too much. The pain hadn't been this bad before, he didn't know how to make it stop. He was scared, this was how it started and it would only get worse as it progressed through his body. Sinking to the floor he cried in his knees, he had to stop himself from holding any part of his body as it only made the pain worse. The more tears that fell the more he debated waking Eric and telling him what was going on. Making his way to his bedroom he stood behind Eric watching him sleep. He seemed so peaceful, so happy believing everything was alright. He didn't want to end that for him. Forcing his arms to wipe his eyes he waited until his hands felt a little better before crawling back to bed. Wrapping Eric's arms back around him he tried to fall back asleep.  
>"Hmmm."<br>Hearing Eric grumble he hoped he didn't wake him.  
>"Everything alright Alan?" Moving closer he rested his head just behind the others. Alan could feel his breath against his ear.<br>"Sorry to wake you. Just went to get a drink."  
>"Alright then. Night." Mumbling he tightened his grip around Alan's waist to hold him closer as he dozed back off.<br>"Good night." Unable to fall back asleep right away he focused on hearing Eric's breath, feeling his warmth, feeling how secure his arms around him. The thought of losing this one day brought tears back to his eyes though he refused to let them fall. He thought Eric was a heavy sleeper but he did just wake up to him getting back into bed so maybe not. He couldn't handle the thought of waking Eric with his tears.  
>"I love you Eric, no matter what happens. You make me so happy."<br>Allowing himself to see he was in love with his best friend and former mentor, had been the last thing he had ever done.

Eric woke up to see the bed empty; he wasn't too surprised by that. Alan was always up early, even on his days off. Smelling breakfast he got up and grabbed something to slip on until he showered. Remembering he was at Alan's and said person had work he got dressed completely in what he came over in last night with every thought of changing once he was at his own place. While Alan probably wouldn't have minded leaving him here he felt strange by the idea. They hadn't been dating long enough for that.  
>"Morning. "Finding Alan in front of the stove he moved beside him to help him out. Before he could vehemently object he pinned him. "You're hands will never heal if you always insist on using them."<br>"Fine, get down the plates from the cabinet." It was funny knowing where everything basically was from being here so many times before. Why had they waited so long to tell the other how they truly felt?

"No way. Alan I am not wearing these."  
>"That's the biggest size I own. I'm sorry. It's just for now though so it's fine."<br>"Give me back my pants."  
>"No. I won't let you put them on before I wash them. How bad are mind anyway?" Alan stood in the hallway outside of his bedroom waiting for Eric to change, since he had apparently been locked out, he accidently spilt something over him after breakfast and hoped he hadn't ruined them.<br>"Alan, give me back my pants!"  
>"No! I'm coming in." Opening the door he saw Eric standing in front of the mirror. They didn't look <em>that<em> bad on him. They…enhanced his legs and already nice looking backside. Okay so they were a little short but it wasn't that bad.  
>"Give me my pants."<br>"Oh they are fine you big baby. They'll get you home won't they. I'll wash these as soon as I can and get them back to you."  
>"I don't think I can sit." Trying to move he couldn't get over how tight they were on him, this had to be punishment for not leaving more clothes here.<br>"Then don't sit until your home. Now I have to go before I'm late. I don't care if you stay but you aren't putting these back on."  
>"Fine you win. Don't forget, my place after work."<br>With that settled they left Alan's house and went their separate ways.

If this was counted as a date then he loved it. Sure they had dinner together many times over the years but this time was different. The atmosphere Eric had created was unlike one he had ever experienced before.  
>"This was what you were hoping for, correct?"<br>"And so much more."  
>"Good."<br>Pulling Alan closer he felt him rest his head on his shoulder. It was amazing how easy he was to please. Such simple shows of affection seemed to set him off, make him so happy. Had he never felt such love before? How could anyone not love him he was amazing, incredible, perfect. He was glad their friends and coworkers didn't know about them, that they didn't show anywhere near this type of affection at work. It seemed to make these moments even better.

Eric was on assignment with Ronald for some strange reason. He was glad it was Ronald and not Grell but he wasn't crazy about Alan being alone. Since they started dating a few months ago he noticed he worried about him more than he had before and not really sure why. He would be happy when they met up for drinks later. Alan had agreed to join the two of them saying someone had to watch out for them. Things did tend to get a little crazy when Ronald joined them.  
>"Look at those clouds I hope it doesn't start to snow too badly. It will make tomorrow a mess."<br>Looking up at the sky he saw what Ronald was talking about. Hopefully it wouldn't start until much later. Wishing Alan was with him only grew, he had faith in him that all was going well but with a storm approaching he wanted him close.  
>"Oh hey, there they are." Pulling his eyes from the sky he saw the people they had to go after and they got to work.<p>

Alan didn't like the looks of this. It was starting to snow and he still had work to do. Snow, while beautiful, always slowed him down while he was working. And it couldn't just be snowing, oh no, it had to be strong winds and snowing. He couldn't wait to finish up here and meet up with Eric. Drinking or not as long as they were together and he was warm he was happy. Running across a field to get to his next target faster he halted against his will. His arms suddenly became inflamed and it felt as if they were being pierced. Dropping his weapon from being unable to hold it any longer he tried his best to hold himself together. He was having an attack from the thorns. He needed to relax this would pass soon, it had only happened a couple of months ago after work and it only lasted a minute or so, he would be fine. Feeling pain in his toes and moving up his legs panic rushed through him. There was no way it had spread this quickly could it? Was he going to die here? Unable to stand any longer he fell to his knees only to be forced off them as well and laid in the field. Tears flooded his eyes knowing he was completely alone. He was going to die, alone, in the human world. The snow would probably cover him soon meaning no one would know he was here.  
>"E…Eric." He couldn't breathe; his body was shaking, from either the weather or the thorns. He wasn't sure but it didn't make much difference now anyway. As the pain intensified he could feel his mind losing consciousness, this was really the end for him. Why? Why now? Feeling himself slipping further into the darkness he tried to pull up any memory of his time with Eric. If he was going to die he wanted his last thoughts to be of the one he loved.<p>

Eric stood in front of the bar with Ronald waiting for Alan to show up. While he was usually the first to arrive anywhere it wouldn't surprise him if work held him up.  
>"Damn it's cold out here. Why don't we wait for Alan inside? He knows we were meeting here right?"<br>"He does, but I want to wait for him here. Go save us seats."  
>"Will do." Rubbing his hands together Ronald went inside to get them spots at the bar while Eric waited. Seeing the snow beginning to stick he couldn't calm this horrible feeling he had. It didn't help that he wasn't sure where Alan had been assigned today. Crossing his arms to help himself stay warm he waited to hopefully see Alan come running up.<br>"Eric, you've been here for forty-five minutes. Wait for him inside the bar man." Ronald stepped back outside to see the snow had picked up speed. "The weather is probably holding him up. And who knows maybe he went back home. Who knows if the North was hit harder since the storm came from that direction."  
>"I'm going to look for him. He should have been here by now. The weather might be slowing him down but he would have used someone's field phone, or any phone to let us know."<br>"I'll go with you then."  
>"No stay here."<br>"Forget it; the North is a large area to cover alone. I overheard Will give him assignments covering most of it. He could be anywhere."  
>"Fine, come on then." Taking off they headed for the standard starting point of that area before deciding how to split up and tell the other if and when they found him.<p>

Eric jumped from house to house in search of Alan. He had to be around here. Making a note to kill Will the next time he saw him for giving him such a large area to cover he jumped down from where he was to search the field in front of him. He could see Ronald doing the same. It was also the best way to see the whole area around them. They all used it as a shortcut as it was the quickest way to get across it. Seeing something jutting from the ground Eric ran towards it, it looked like a stick. That was strange there were no trees around here. Getting closer he noticed it looked like the handle to Alan's death scythe.  
>"Alan!" Dropping to his knees he felt his blood drain from his body seeing Alan partially buried under the snow. "Alan, Alan wake up!" Pulling him to his chest he held him tightly trying to warm him up. He was as pale as the snow and his lips were blue. He couldn't be dead, he refused to believe it. What could have done this to him? And was it still nearby waiting to make a feast on his body? Ronald ran over to them hearing Eric shouting something from across the field.<br>"Oh God, Alan! Is he breathing?" Checking for a pulse he found a faint one and short forced breaths coming from him. They had to get him out of here and quickly. Eric quickly took off his jacket and wrapped it around Alan's shoulders while Ronald checked him out. Making sure it would stay on him he took Alan back in his arms. They had to get him indoors, somewhere preferably by a fire.  
>"We can take him to my place Eric."<br>"Mine is closer I just need help getting him there."  
>"Of course."<br>Getting to their feet they took off not wasting any time. Holding him tighter they ran to his house to get him out of his freezing clothes and in warmer ones. Once arriving at his place he put him in the first warm things he could find for him and wrapped his bed covers around him and had Ronald get more from his closet to put around him. Sitting next to him in bed he refused to let him go until he stopped shaking as harshly as he was.  
>"Come on Alan, open your eyes for me. Don't let me have been too late."<p>

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>Not sure when I'll start chapter 15 but I hope for it to be soon. Thanks for all the reviews they really are great. Love them and love you all.<br>~Femalefighter~


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Alan realized he felt warm, very warm actually. That was strange last he remembered he was being attacked by the thorns and he was out in the snow. Was this death?  
>"Eric." Mumbling for him he moved his body closer together, he started to feel what seemed like blankets, many blankets. Slowly opening his eyes he saw he was in bed, Eric's bed.<br>"Eric…"  
>"Alan, I'm right here."<br>Moving his body he saw him sitting right next to the bed with his amazing smile on him.  
>"How are you feeling?"<br>"Warm, very warm."  
>"That's good to hear. Let's get some of these off you."<br>Helping pull some of the blankets off him they sat him up and didn't say anything for what seemed like hours.  
>"How did you find me?"<br>"You were late joining us, Ron knew you were up North so we want looking and wouldn't stop until we had you. What happened to you? Who attacked you? They will pay for what they did.  
>"It wasn't anyone."<br>"I figured it was a demon, low scumbag probably came up from behind and,"  
>"Eric. It wasn't anything please don't worry about it."<br>Both stopped, hearing a light knock at the bedroom door. Alan was lost by who it could be, they were at Eric's place and he was right here besides him. Was it Eric's girlfriend? He had been trying to avoid her for months so she wouldn't learn the truth. Hearing Eric let them in he braced himself.  
>"Alan you're up, that's good to see. You're looking better, much better actually. Can I get you something? Water maybe?"<br>"It's good to see you too Ronald, water, please, if you wouldn't mind."  
>"Sure thing." Walking away Alan stared at the now empty doorway knowing what was coming. He had to tell Eric the truth of what happened earlier, he knew that, yet.<br>"You're too strong to end up the way you were. So tell me what happened."  
>"I…I'm sick Eric. I have been for awhile now."<br>"Idiot. You should have told me or Will and taken it easy for awhile. How many times do I have to tell you to not take on so much when Will asks you too. Tell him no for once."  
>"It's not that simple Eric."<br>"Sure it is."  
>Ronald snuck back in to give Alan the glass of water he asked for before sneaking back out. Seeing them talking and hearing Eric becoming frustrated he figured it would be best to leave them alone.<br>"No it isn't. It's not what you think."  
>"I think you're over reacting. We barely get sick and when we do it's never anything too bad. Besides if you're sick I'll take care of you, you know that. I can get you better in no time."<br>Half smiling Alan held his knees, Eric sounded so sure of himself, so determined to get him better. He didn't want to crush that spirit.  
>"It's not what you think, I won't just get better Eric."<br>"Not possible and you know that. We're immortal we can't stay si,"  
>"I contracted the Thorns of Death, Eric! I'm not going to get better I'm going to die!" Looking out of the corner of his eye he noticed he surprised him, made him speechless. He didn't mean to snap but he couldn't take it anymore; he wanted him to know the truth. He wanted to feel as if everything was going to be okay even though he knew it wasn't.<br>"H…How is that possible? As far as we know no one has had it before."  
>"My fate I guess." Going to say something more he stopped realizing he wasn't in the mood to cry right now. "I got it after I was being haunted. Signs didn't show up right away but what I learned it was normal for that to happen."<br>"Haunted?" Thinking back it realized that this was all his fault then. If he had gotten to him sooner, stayed closer he could have stopped her from getting to him. He was the reason Alan was sick. "Alan. I…I am sorry. This, this is all because I failed you."  
>"What? No, no it's not I brought this on myself. I wasn't thinking and touched her when she was dying."<br>Getting off the seat he was in he moved to the bed to wrap his arms around him. Hold him close, apologize the best he could for what he did. He would do whatever he had to too save him. Alan didn't deserve to die because he had failed him as a friend.

Alan got out of bed to shower and change out of the baggy clothes Eric had placed on him. He could tell he was piecing everything together little by little, the books, the "secret" research, the marks on his arms that he saw had gotten worse since he last saw them when he tried to get him out of his wet clothes. The signs of what was going on yet not being able to put two and two together until now. He could tell Eric needed space to breathe and think and this would give him that space. It would give them both a little time. They had decided to keep Ronald in the dark about this for right now. He would have to tell him eventually and William at the very least but for now he wanted things to stay as they were. He would have to tell Eric why he wanted to though since he could already tell he wanted him to take it easy.

Coming out of Eric's bedroom he heard Eric and Ronald talking in the living room. Going to join them he stopped just outside the doorway.  
>"So are you and Alan a thing now?"<br>"Yea, we are, have been for awhile."  
>"I thought so. You both seemed different. But Alan, he seems to be happier, more willing to let go."<br>"We are keeping it a secret for obvious reasons, so if you wouldn't mind."  
>"No problem here."<br>At that Alan walked in to sit with them on the couch. He was feeling well and even the thorns seemed at bay. He hoped Eric could see that, that while he was sick he wasn't unable to live. He wasn't at _that_ point yet. They sat around by the fire happy to not have to be out in the snow until tomorrow. Hearing Alan's stomach growling Eric got up to make some dinner for them. It was close to ten at night but they all skipped eating to keep an eye on Alan and make sure he was alright.  
>"Thanks for helping me, Ronald and for keeping an eye on Eric."<br>"Someone needs to watch out for you both."  
>Smiling he got Alan to smile too while they watched the fire and Eric to give the okay to enter the kitchen.<p>

Alan sat at work happy to hear that as of right now only Grell was on collections today. The death count was slightly higher due to the weather but William was pissed at him for something and was trying to punish him. With any luck he wouldn't get called to help out and would leave on time with Eric. He wanted to talk to him too. They might have yesterday but Eric had Ronald stay the night and they didn't want him to possibly overhear anything.. He already figured Eric wanted to try and convince him to take it easy since he didn't want him to go to work today and just rest at his place. He also couldn't wait to get out of here because neither of them slept well last night. He personally fell asleep quick enough even though he had been out for hours but his mind didn't, and Eric. Eric tossed and turned all night probably processing the new information he learned. One of the reasons he didn't want to tell him, so he wouldn't worry too much about it. He could only hope this wasn't the start of a daily occurrence. That was one of the last things he wanted for both of them. Seeing the clock turn five, and William not already here telling them that they had overtime he got up to punch out and get out of here. On a normal day he wouldn't have minded staying but after everything that went on yesterday he desired his bed.  
>"Ready to get out of here?" Eric met him at his desk seeing if he was good to go. He was tired of paperwork for the day. If he had to fill out one more column he was going to lose it.<br>"I am. Yours or mine?"  
>"Yours I guess."<br>Gathering his things he put on his coat making sure he would stay as warm as possible during the walk.

It was strange for them to be walking in silence usually they talked about something, anything. Alan was enjoying the beauty of the untouched snow around them though. Snow, so pure, innocent, it turned anything it touched into a beautiful picture, how he loved it so. Eric looked over at Alan, how he seemed in a trance over what was around them. Going to ask if he was alright he stopped seeing the smile on his face. He was in a trance due to his happiness of the moment; he would not ruin it for him. Alan's love for the simple things only enhanced what he loved about him. He got this look in his eyes, this look a child had when seeing something for the first time with pure, innocent, eyes.  
>"Sort of reminds me of our first mission does it not?"<br>Seeing the confused look cross Alan's face as he looked at him he wrapped his arm around his shoulders.  
>"We were in the field, where the Erica's were blooming. The wind starting blowing causing the petals to sore around. You said it reminded you of snow."<br>Thinking back the memory came back and the confusion left his face to be replaced with a smile.  
>"I said it looked like it was snowing, not that it was snow."<br>"I know that."  
>Laughing Eric dropped his weapon into the white powder and pulled it up causing it to fly around them both.<br>"Eric!"  
>Shielding his face with one hand Alan used the other to do the same.<br>"No fair your blade is larger."  
>"What are you five?"<br>"On now you've done it."  
>Alan ran from Eric as he chased him throwing snow at each other until they made it to his place. So much for staying warm, both were covered in snow, most of which was in their hair. Shaking it off Alan went to light the fireplace and start to warm the house up. Eric grabbed towels for them to dry off their hair. Seeing Alan as happy as he was, as playful as he had just been made last night seem like a dream. That what he said about being sick had just been a nightmare from seeing him frozen in the snow. That had to be it, nothing but a dream, a fear induced nightmare. No way was his best friend, his lover, dying from an incurable disease.<br>"Eric. Eric did you hear me? Hey are you alright?"  
>Snapping from his thoughts he saw Alan looking at him with concern all over his face.<br>"What were you saying?"  
>"Are you okay? You spaced out just now; worse than I have ever seen you do. I asked if you were hungry and if stew was okay."<br>"Yea, sorry, fine, I'm fine, that sounds fine."  
>"…Okay then. You can help me if you want to." Keeping an eye on him he slowly made his way to the kitchen. Taking Alan up on his offer he joined him and helped the best he could.<p>

After they ate they went to sit together in front of the fire. Alan moved as close as he could to rest his head on Eric. He was a little worried about him; he had seemed to be acting strange since they got here. It wasn't like him to stay silent, especially when something was bothering him.  
>"Alan. You're really sick aren't you?"<br>"I am."  
>"So I hadn't been dreaming that conversation up."<br>"You were not." So he had been deep in thought all night. Snuggling closer to him he made sure that while the conversation last night was real he knew he was still here with him now and this moment was real as well.  
>"I won't let you go that easily. I'm going to get you through this."<br>"There is no cure."  
>"I'll find one. No matter what it takes I won't let you die." Lifting Alan's head he looked into his eyes as he spoke the truth. Alan would beat this and they would get the forever everyone else had.<br>"And what will happen to you if you don't."  
>"Not gonna happen."<br>"Eric." Pulling away he sat away from him. While hearing his determination and hope made his heart skip beats they needed to think logically about this. He needed to know that Eric would be okay when he died, that he would take care of himself and live on.  
>"You're not going to die."<br>"But I will! While believing I won't is great and all it's not the way to live. It's also the same reason I refuse to lay in bed all day and wait for the thorns to kill me. I want to live the rest of my life doing what I love, spending it with who I love. Not daydreaming of what could be or of what I'm losing. That isn't any way to spend the rest of my days here."  
>Standing he moved to the window folding his arms close to his chest and looked out over the snow covered scene. Tears fell from his eyes hearing his own words, really coming to terms with his pending death. Eric stood to pull Alan towards him; wrapping his arms around him he could feel his tears soaking his shirt. He hated this, he hated knowing he made Alan cry, he swore years ago he would never do that to him.<br>"I didn't mean to make you upset Alan. I'm sorry."  
>"I just…I just want us to stay as we were. I don't want to lose you. I don't…don't…I don't want to lose what we have because of this stupid disease. I don't want to be alone again during this."<br>"Hey, hey, hey, don't say that. I'm here, I'm always going to be here. Nothing between us will ever change because of this. I can promise you that Alan."  
>His head pulled away from Eric's chest and with tears still falling he wrapped his arms around Eric's neck pulling his head a little lower so their lips could touch. Even though he could taste Alan's salty tears through their lips it only added to the passion they shared for each other. Alan couldn't explain what it felt like to feel Eric being a rock for him. The one thing, the one person he could hold onto while everything around him changed. He could die tomorrow for all he knew but it wouldn't change the fact the Eric was here and holding onto him with both hands. He never had someone like that before in his life. He wouldn't pull apart even as his tears turned into hiccupped sobs, he didn't want to let him go, ever, even if he was stuck in bed unable to move.<p>

Running his hands through Eric's hair he held fistfuls yet managing to not hurt him. Together they somehow made it to the couch where he stayed over Eric as they made out. Staying close to the other, allowing their feelings for the other to soar around and through them. Feeling Eric's strong hands on his back holding him, pulling him closer, only made the fire burn brighter. Neither wanted or needed to take this further than what it was. Their feelings were true and reaching the other.  
>"God I love you." Eric mumbled in a moment of gathering breathe.<br>"I love you too. More than anything else in the world." At those words Alan realized how true that was. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved Eric, not even his mother even though he took care of her for years. He had never been this happy before in his life then he did right now. Knowing someone would always be there for him as he would always be there for the other.

As things started to settle back down they went back to watching the fire until Eric noticed Alan fell asleep resting on him.  
>"Alan you're too much." Carefully getting up he moved Alan to the bedroom. Sliding beside him he wrapped his arms around him and held him close while they slept. He had been serious before, about not letting Alan die. He wasn't going to give his life up so easily. He would find a cure no matter what. They would stay together the way they both wanted. He didn't want to answer him when he asked about what would happen to him. He would lose it, Alan was his everything, his light in this dark, lonely life and if he lost him then he would have nothing. To Alan he didn't want to be alone anymore, to him Alan was his light and he didn't want to be in the dark anymore. It was suffocating in the void and he never wanted to go back there now feeling what it was like to live in the light. To breathe in deep wonderful breathes of life. There had to be something that could cure him, if there were books on the disease history mentioned but yet held no record of ever claiming anyone then there had to be a cure of some sort.<p>

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Okay didn't get where I wanted to in this chapter but at least I got to Eric learning the truth. Hoping to start the next chapter soon but I'm thinking I won't be able to until Thursday. Love the reviews and I love everyone reading this story. I truly makes my day.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Alan sat on a rooftop enjoying the view of the arriving spring time. Winter was as beautiful in his eyes but feeling the warmth that came with spring as well as watching the blooming life form around him was what made it even better. Watching the flowers and trees bloom, he could spend hours here. This sight was his sunrise, sunset scene. Just watching the flowers open or just swaying in the breeze was fine with him. He knew Eric, no matter how much he loved him, would never do this. Or find as much, if any enjoyment in it. He probably didn't even know a spot like this existed. Seeing his target in the distance he reluctantly stood up to do his job, maybe he would come back here after he finished for the day, before he went home. He loved this spot; it was a great area to just think.

Finishing up with work he noticed the sunset was just starting. Debating between heading back to go home with Eric, or staying in the human world a little while longer he decided to stay. Nothing against Eric but he saw him every day or just about it anyway so spending some time a part wasn't a big deal. Going back to the spot he was at earlier he watched the flowers sway, some were closing up as the sun left them. Seeing them getting ready for the night reminded him that another day was coming to an end. Meaning he was another day closer to his own. While he hadn't an attack since around the start of the New Year and was nowhere near as severe as when he collapsed in the snow he still knew he was dying. Every day the thorns became a little closer to his heart, to claiming his life.

"Hey, I figured you would be here." Hearing footsteps behind him he saw Eric coming to sit beside him.  
>"How did you know I would be here?"<br>" I saw this place some time ago and it seemed like a place you would come."  
>"You know me too well."<br>"Thank you. Some view huh."  
>"Yea."<br>Seeing Alan going back to the ocean of flowers below them he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. He had guessed he would find him here once he finished up with work, he wasn't sure if he would head home or not. They may have been together and slept over each other's place every night but that didn't mean they were attached to the hip. Though he liked Alan near him in case he had another attack, so far he only had two he knew of. One before he knew he was sick and one right after the New Year. That had been the worst experience of his life. _Alan had been in the kitchen getting a drink when he heard glass shatter. Running in he saw Alan over the sink trying to hold himself together it looked like, he could see him in pain and as much as he had wanted to help or do something, anything for him all he could was watch. Keep his arms around him and watch._  
>"Eric? Are you still with me?"<br>Realizing Alan had been talking to him he had that unpleasant memory go to the back of his mind again and give him his attention.  
>"Of course, sorry. You were saying."<br>"I knew you weren't listening to me."  
>Smirking from his victory he moved a little closer to Eric to rest more comfortably on him. He was glad he was here and they were enjoying this together. That's all he was saying to him.<p>

"Alan you up for a little sparing?" Ronald ran up to him as he split ways with Eric who was going out on assignment.  
>"Sure. I need to burn off my lunch anyway. I think I ate more then I should have."<br>"Sweet." Even though he didn't have to spar anymore since he was past the point of it being mandatory he still loved it and tried to do a little every day. Finding Alan as the only one available worked even better since he still couldn't beat him. Both walked together to the training room joking around while they quickly changed and stretched. Ronald could feel it, today was the day he would land a blow on Alan at the very least. He would take him down, make him feel it in the morning, bruise him so hard he had it for a week. Yea, today was the day it was all going to happen.  
>"Plotting my demise, keep dreaming." Seeing this strange smile cross Ronald's face Alan couldn't help but tease him. They had practice quite a bit together and he still couldn't hit him, what made him think today would be any different?<p>

It didn't take long for them to end up their standard position of weapons locked with full force behind them. This was usually where Alan took over and landed a blow on Ronald. Getting ready he went for the attack, only, Ronald dodged before it could land. He was improving it seemed. Still it wasn't enough for him to get the advantage. Side stepping Alan easily avoided the attack. Going to show him how it's done he prepared his weapon and footing. His weapon lowered as he was suddenly gasping for air. His body felt like it was catching on fire, his veins carried a searing pain throughout his body. Not now, not with Ronald here with him.  
>"Alan? Hey Alan what's wrong?"<br>He could hear Ronald beside him and starting to panic but his lungs wouldn't allow him to tell him he would be fine. Would he be fine though? Curling up in a ball on the floor he tried to keep his mind sane. It was easier said than done as it kept telling him he was going to die, and he would be alone forever. That all he knew was suffering and that was all he would ever know even after he was dead. His body hurt, the fire was burning him alive from the inside out. The thorns were stabbing his organs and veins and being dragged around throughout his body. Not sure what was going on with Alan and hearing him gasping for air Ronald ran to the side of the room with a direct link to the infirmary. Pushing the intercom button he tried to coherently tell them to get down here before running back to Alan. What the hell was going on with him? Had he hurt him somehow?

Eric stood with a few others where their desks were when he heard about nurses being summoned to the infirmary. He didn't hear the whole thing but he heard Alan's name and something about Ronald freaking out. Forgetting who he was with he dropped everything and ran as fast as he could to the training room.  
>"Alan!"<br>"Eric!" Ronald stepped away from Alan who was still crumpled on the floor. "I don't know what happened. We were sparing, he was fine, I didn't touch him but, then,"  
>"I know. Alan, it's me, I'm here, you'll be alright." Putting his arms around him he lifted him off the floor holding him close.<br>"…Eric…" His vision was blurry even with his glasses on his face, not that he could feel them on his face. His body hurt so much, his lungs were even burning. Death had to be close now, Eric probably wasn't even here with him, he was probably just delusional from the pain. Refusing to let anyone else touch him in the state he was in Eric gently lifted Alan in his arms to carry him to the infirmary and let him rest. He could tell the nurses were baffled and wanted to look at him but Eric refused to let them to do anything while Alan was out of it. Watching his breathing start to settle back down and his pained gasps for air were turning to normal inhales and exhales he sat in the chair besides him. It seemed the thorns were letting up. This attack seemed longer than his last one. He needed to find a cure for him and he needed to find it soon. He wasn't sure how long Alan had and he couldn't wait until he had none left to help him. He had been looking through every book the society's library held and he found nothing. Not even the hint of something. He refused to believe there was nothing out there. If there was information on the disease itself then there had to be something, anything on a way to cure it.

"Hey Eric, is he up yet?" Ronald snuck his head in the doorway, worry clearly written over his face.  
>"He just fell asleep. I figure he'll be out for a while."<br>"Oh, well is he still in pain?"  
>"No he is past it. You can come in you know."<br>"It's okay. I should be getting back to work. Let me know when we wakes up. Oh and tell him I hope he is better soon alright."  
>"Sure."<br>Both knew he wasn't getting back to work. He would stay outside the room until Alan woke up and he could figure out what happened to him. Really Eric should tell him, he did know, but this was something Alan had to do. William would probably be down here soon as well to figure out the truth. Alan's future here could be coming to an end; he didn't want that to be the case and knew Alan wouldn't either. But it would be safer, what if he had an attack on the field while facing a demon. He could be killed, if not seriously injured. He wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to him. Alan wanted his independent but he needed to think about his health and safety. They could go together; it would be like old times, like when they first met each other.

"Hey there."  
>Hearing a soft voice he turned to the bed to see Alan awake and looking at him with a soft smile.<br>"Hey. Are you okay?"  
>"I think so. What are you doing here I thought you were out on assignment?"<br>"Change of plans, William wanted someone else to go, some trainee I think, I never left."  
>Sitting up he winced, it seems the thorns were still reminding him of their presence. Eric's arms sprang up towards him ready to grab him if anything happened. He could tell Eric was watching him; he waved him off knowing the sharp pain had left him already and was nothing to worry about.<br>"Where is Ronald I want to apologize for this?" He couldn't remembered what had happened exactly outside if the thorns attacking his body but he knew he had been next to him and slightly recalled hearing panic in his voice.  
>"He is pacing outside the room. I'll get him for you."<p>

Alan watched as Ronald walked in, worry written all over his face. He really scared him before.  
>"Are…are you okay now?"<br>"I am. I want to apologize for scaring you."  
>"What happened? Did I hurt you somehow? I didn't think I hit you but I'm not sure what happened."<br>"You didn't hurt me. I should have told you sooner but I'm sick. I get these attacks every so often from it."  
>"Do you know what it is? Can you do anything for it?"<br>"No I can't but they are pretty rare, spaced months apart so I don't worry about them too much. And I do but promise me we'll keep this between us. I have the Thorns of Death."  
>Seeing the look on Ronald's face he could tell he knew of the disease and was horrified by what it meant.<br>"Alan Humphries. We need to talk in my office." Everyone in the room looked towards the door to see William standing there. He knew this was coming and it was only a matter of time. The last thing he wanted though was to be forced to quit his job. He loved it here, paperwork included, he loved the people he met, the experiences he had, he loved allowing humans to go to heaven and find peace there.  
>"Of course sir."<p>

Getting out of bed and ignoring the protest from Eric to wait he followed William to his office. He felt weak still from the attack but he could hold it together long enough. Sitting across from William who was at his desk he waited to hear his fate here.  
>"I don't want to let you go but if it is true that you have contracted the Thorns of Death I must discuss your future with us. Do you wish to stay here?"<br>"I do sir. Nothing would make me happier then to keep my post here. I don't want anything to change because of this. I don't want to get less work either."  
>"Then nothing shall change until I deem fit. Should you go on assignments with a partner from this point on?"<br>"Not if I don't have to. I can handle being on my own there is no need to worry about that." He was grateful nothing was changing it sounded like. That really was his biggest fear and part of the reason he hadn't said anything to him about this before. Once Alan left William's office he got sat back in his desk chair and thought of the future Alan faced. He had a touch and painful road ahead of him. It seemed he would have to think about some changes to who his top death gods were. Ronald could probably pick up Alan's slack once he was gone but they would still be short a reaper and his best one at that. A fate such as the Thorns was not a pleasant one and it was a shame it had to fall upon Alan, the most level headed, hard working, and smartest, reaper.

"Alan stop." Eric pulled Alan's hands away from his chest trying to halt his advances for the tenth time. They sat on Alan's bed and the one sat on the other placing soft, simple signs of affection on the other's neck and now slightly exposed shoulder.  
>"Come on. I'm fine I swear."<br>"I don't care. I refuse to do anything that stimulates your body for another attack."  
>"I've never had two on the same day."<br>"I'm going to put you through that risk." Frustrated with what he was hearing and now sexually frustrated Alan got up to leave the room. It was hard to say no, especially with how cute he was now but he was going to his stick his ground on this one. Alan was too important to him to risk putting his body through another attack so soon after his last one. Besides he wanted to talk to him about something, it involved their future together so he deemed it pretty important. More important than sex, that could wait, though the thought of waiting seemed laughable.  
>"Alan, don't get upset over it I'm just looking out for you."<br>Finding Alan on the couch resting his head on his knees he sat next to him in hopes he could get him to understand his insane logic. Because deep down he wanted him, he wanted him so badly right now, especially after what happened during work but he wouldn't let that clog up his thoughts.  
>"You promised me that nothing would change between us."<br>"And nothing has."  
>"Don't lie. I see how scared you've become, how you never want to get too close to me."<br>'What are you talking about I'm always near you."  
>Shooting him a "you know I didn't mean it literally" look he huffed and placed his head back on his knees. "We used to be so close, one never getting enough of the other at night. Now look at us. Now you're stopping any attempt I make."<br>"Just for tonight."  
>"This isn't the first time you've pulled away from me! You used to never say no, I would!" Getting off the couch he moved to the single chair and curled back up.<br>"I'm trying to protect you."  
>"Well maybe I don't want protection! Maybe I want sex! The type of sex we haven't had in what feels like years! You want distance from me I bet. That's why you keep telling me no. I'm dying, I have baggage. You don't want to deal with that I'm sure. Why not go spend time with your girlfriend then. I'll bet she misses you!"<br>"What the hell?" Now on his feet he stood over Alan demanding an explanation. He wasn't seeing anyone else, he didn't want to, Alan sick or not. "You idiot. I'm not seeing anyone, the woman, my _girlfriend_ as you said, broke up with me soon after _we _got together. We were never really a thing anyway. We were more like friends with benefits and once I promised _you _I wouldn't sleep with her or anyone else and I told her I couldn't sleep with her it was decided mutually that we should split."  
>"You told her about us?" Defrosting he let his legs touch the floor.<br>"I've told that you came first and while back then I didn't what was going on I knew I needed to tell her why I suddenly couldn't spend the night with her."  
>"You idiot." Flinging himself off of his seat and into Eric's arms, his anger towards him vanished.<br>"I'll take that as a thank you. Alan. I want to ask you to do me a favor. For us, for our future together."  
>"What, anything you know that."<br>Sitting them back on the couch he pulled Alan arm distance away to look into his eyes. He really wanted him to understand how serious he was about this.  
>"What, Eric, tell me?"<br>"I want you to move in with me."

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>Sorta started the next chapter plan to work on it more after work today so who knows you might get another chapter soon. No promises though. Please review I love them as much as I love you.<br>~Femalefighter~


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

"You want me to move in with you?"  
>"I do."<br>"Why?"  
>Well this wasn't the direction he expected the conversation to take. He thought "yes" or "no" not "why."<br>"Because I've been thinking about it and it would probably be better if we lived together."  
>"Okay but why? Don't we practically live together anyway?"<br>"You know, I never saw this being so difficult with you."  
>"I just don't see the point"<br>"Married couples live together, what's the difference?"  
>"We aren't married for one and two we split houses what's the big deal?"<br>"I want you to move in with me. No more splitting houses, and who cooks and figuring out where clothes are. My place is big enough for this stuff."  
>"But I,"<br>"Look, today made me realize something. I don't want you to be alone when an attack hits. And if you're not crazy about moving in then let's get a place together. We'll sell both of our houses and buy our own. We're together most nights, I want to make it all. I don't want you to have an attack and be alone because it's the one night we sleep a part."  
>Alan wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't against the idea of them living together officially but he was opposed to buying a house together. It seemed stupid when he could die at any time and may not even get the chance to enjoy it. If he sold this place though he wouldn't have to worry about what to do one he was dead. Hearing that Eric was concerned about him and wanted to be there for him as much as possible made it hard not to smile and say yes. And then to learn he stopped seeing the other woman months ago, his smile only grew.<br>"You know what, sure, I'll move in with you. If you think it's a good idea and that you're place can hold my stuff, mainly my books, then I'll do it."  
>"Thank you. You know I love you right?"<br>"I love you too. And that's the only reason I am agreeing."  
>It seemed to conversation worked to replace how he felt before when he was rejected for sex. He didn't bring it back up for the rest of the night. They both slept soundly, one wrapped in the other's arms.<p>

Eric stood in Alan's bedroom trying to make him help pack it up. Alan being Alan was being stubborn about it though. As much as he was in love with how independent he was it was also a pain to deal with it at times.  
>"I'm packing up your living room."<br>"Fine. Do as you please." Tired of trying to get him to not worry about it he gave in to him.  
>Grabbing a box he dragged it the living room to start with the first bookshelf. He told Alan his place could easily hold everything he had but it hadn't dawned on him how many books he had here. Starting simple he went to the coffee table, maybe if he took the ones Alan read the most and was currently reading he wouldn't notice the others were in the basement.<br>Picking up the one he noticed it was from the society. Flipping through it he saw it covered so much on diseases and its history with the society. Not seeing anything useful he threw it on the couch so it wouldn't become lost or destroyed.  
>"Holy…" Picking up the giant reference book that was under the thinner one Eric noticed it was volume five…Alan read the first four? Thumbing through it he noticed it was based on cures and diseases. Alan must have been looking for a cure as well. It made sense but they could have looked together, they were after the same goal after all. Still for Alan not to tell him about it he must not have found anything. Flipping through it he saw something that caught his eye and made him go back a few pages. There was something on the Thorns of Death in this book. Skimming it, it didn't look like it held the same old information that was found practically everywhere. Going into the kitchen where his jacket was he wrapped the book inside it. Alan would probably tell him he didn't want the help and didn't want to bother him with the tedious research. If only Alan understood just how much he truly meant to him. How much he meant to him for all these years. He always said he treated him like a child but Alan never learned, never understood. Going back into the living room he finally started packing it up.<p>

Alan dropped a box of his Eric's bedroom. This was now his bedroom, this was now his house, how strange, how exciting.  
>"Eric, where can my clothes go?"<br>"Right side of the closet and that drawer over there is all yours. I emptied it just for you."  
>"Oh okay, thanks, Eric. Are you sure about this? About me living with you?<br>"I have never been more sure about anything. Now stop worrying." Placing his hands on Alan's waist he pulled him closer and tried to take his worries away with a kiss. He was glad he didn't have to deal with unpacking this stuff though. He was glad Alan hadn't chosen to buy a house together. He was glad Alan hadn't chosen to buy a house together. And that he chose to move in on a day he had work. Not that he wouldn't have helped him just thought it was easier this way.  
>"You sure you'll be alright? Don't forget I'll be an extra few minutes since I'm helping Ronald with your couch."<br>"Great! That works for me."  
>"Don't be depressed now, jeez."<br>"Oh no, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, well, it works out. It gives me time to unpack and make dinner. Since I'm living here now you can't complain anymore about it. And I want to do something that says thanks."  
>"You just did." Watching Alan smile and shake his head he let him go before he ran late. He was excited to leave so he could come back and see Alan here. This really was the start of something great.<p>

It had been decided that they weren't telling William about their new living arrangements. He didn't know they were together and they planned to keep it that way. Relationships inside the same department were frowned upon though happened quite often. Maybe nothing long term but hook-ups were common. He figured Will had hooked up with Grell at least once though he refused to ever believe a word that the red head said.  
>"So is Alan at your place now?"<br>"Yea, we got the last of his stuff over a little earlier this morning. He told me to tell you that if you want anything else when we go there it's yours."  
>"Did he pack a frying pan?"<br>"No, he took little from the kitchen I think"  
>"Tell him I said thanks."<br>Laughing they headed to their desks to get to work.

While Ronald went through Alan's house seeing if there was anything he needed Eric sat on the couch and opened the massive book he carried to work with him. He thought it would be easier to read it without Alan near. Turning to the index he found the section on the Thorns. Focusing his attention on the information he didn't realize he zoned out and didn't hear Ronald tell him he would be right back. He was going to run to his house and drop these things off so he had both hands for the couch. While he hadn't found anything on a cure yet he was learning a lot about the disease itself. What it actually did to its victims, the pain it caused, how it spread. The more he learned about it the more he needed to find Alan a cure and not just a cure but something to make sure Alan never faced this again. He didn't deserve to have to deal with this. He wanted to go back in time and destroy that girl for doing this to Alan. If he ever got his hands around her he would make her pay. But, he couldn't, he blew his only chance to kill her, that was how she got to Alan in the first place. If only he had stayed but his side as he promised, fought her instead of him, Alan wouldn't have to go through this. And to make matters worse Alan refused to blame him, refused to hold a grudge towards him. He kept saying it wasn't his fault, that this happened due to his own fault. God he wanted to Alan to be mad at him, blame for him for the trouble he caused him. That was why he had to find a cure; he had to find something no matter what. He got Alan into this mess and he would get him out. That was his promise to him.

Reading the information covered on the disease itself he flipped the page to see what else, if anything the book had on it. "A thousand Souls." It had had the mark next to the name as being a legend but if someone wrote it then it had to have been tried before. He would try anything, no matter what he had to do, no matter if it was considered a legend or not. Perhaps that last person that tried it only failed because they ran out of time. A thousand souls was a lot to collect and they couldn't be just any souls, they had to be pure, and that of woman. He would pull it off though, he had no other option. He would do it for Alan, for his light, for their future together. They would get the forever they both dreamed of, the one they deserved.

"Eric, hey Eric, ready to do this?"  
>Hearing Ronald he pulled his nose from the book.<br>"Ready to do what?"  
>"Woah, never thought I'd see this. You reading <em>and<em> forgetting what we came here to do. And what are you reading, one of Alan's?"  
>"This? Sort of, I'm learning what I can to help Alan the best I can."<br>"Oh." Shoving his hands in his pockets he couldn't forget the truth. Alan, someone he looked up to, respected, one of his closest friends, was dying. "It's got to be hard on you both I wish I could help somehow."  
>"Thanks but no you don't."<br>"Alan is my friend too you know, so yes I do!"  
>"You get to watch from the sidelines Ron, you're lucky. You don't have to worry about fearing he is pushing himself too hard or that he'll have an attack while he is out on the field because he told Will he wants to go alone. Having him move in with me is the only thing I could do to preserve what little sanity I have left. And to make it worse he wants to act like it's nothing. He won't talk about it, even though I can tell he is always thinking about it, thinking about how much time he has left. I love him and I won't abandon him but you are the lucky one I'll tell you that."<br>"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the only reason he is pushing so hard, that he wants to act like nothing is going on is because he _can't_ forget? Maybe he is losing his mind as well. Maybe holding on to what he has always known is helping him to not curl up and cry or just plainly die. Think about it, none of us know what death is like. None of us have to worry about it, we were told we wouldn't have to. But he isn't like that. He is dying and to make it worse it will be slow and painful, he'll see it coming but he won't know when exactly it will happen. _And_, he won't know what is lying ahead of him. I would lose my mind like that too. I would do anything I could to forget. I think him having you in his life right now has turned out to be a blessing for him, for both of you. He can use you to escape the horrible thoughts swirling around in his mind, if only for a little while at a time. But you'll both be alright I can feel it."  
>Eric just sat there pinned by Ronald's words, not only for what he said but who said them. Ron was crazy, focused a lot on himself and woman he wanted, but he said something that held so much worth, something that really got to him.<br>"Come on let's move this. I want to get home, Alan is cooking for us tonight."  
>"Nice. His cooking is the best, no offense. You are so lucky that he cooks for you."<br>Putting the book back on the floor by his stuff from work he got off the couch so they could carry it to Ronald's place.

Alan was proud of himself; he got most of his stuff unpacked. He would have finished it but he wanted to have dinner ready by the time Eric got home, listen to him. By the time Eric got home, got back to their place, got back to him, it sounded so amazing so perfect. Catching himself before he started daydreaming he focused on cooking. He wanted their first meal as…whatever you called this arrangement, to be perfect. Eric had been nice enough to give up living alone, giving up his own space so they could share it. The least he could do was cook him a nice meal. Hopefully the first of many. Looking at the clock he guessed he would be here soon, they were just moving his old couch to Ronald's place since he didn't need it anymore. He was also letting Ronald take whatever he didn't bring over here. He didn't care what he took; he planned to sell the rest off anyway. They had swapped a few things of Eric's that was slightly lower quality or falling apart but that was few. Surprisingly Eric had a lot of nice stuff, for never bringing people over here he sure splurged a lot. Hearing the door open he heard footsteps coming into the kitchen.  
>"There is someone in my house."<br>"Surprise!"  
>"All unpacked?"<br>"Just about, I stopped so I could start cooking for us. I made your favorite."  
>"You?"<br>"You are disgusting. God why do I like you?"  
>"I ask myself that question every day. You're too innocent to be with me."<br>Sitting at the table he watched as Alan finished up before joining him so they could eat, salmon in white wine and herbs. Tasted as good as it smelt, Ronald was right, Alan's cooking was the best.  
>"You have outdone yourself."<br>"That was my plan. Ronald get what he needed from my place?"  
>"Oh right, he says thanks for the frying pan."<br>Laughing they both felt it was an inside joke for some reason and only laughed harder.

Eric sat on his bed watching Alan getting ready to join him for the night, the first night of them officially living together. He still thought he wore too much to sleep in, long pants and long shirt. He would have thought he would show a little more skin by now. Pulling him towards him he wrapped his arms around his waist as they laid down together.  
>"Do you still doubt this decision?"<br>Moving the hair that fell in front of Eric's eyes he smiled unable to hide his happiness over being here. Of knowing every night could be as wonderful as today, that he would no longer spend any night alone, he would never be alone again.  
>"I'll take that as a no."<br>"Of course it's a no. I'm really glad I moved in here."  
>"Good."<br>"I love you."  
>With a half smile and a shift of his body to now hover over Alan he said,"I love you too," and lowered so they could kiss. Feeling Alan's hand on his waist he was pushed lower, closer to him, allowing their bodies to touch in as many places as possible. He wanted to celebrate tonight, not only to first of many days together but for finding a way to save Alan. To finding a way to cure him, in finding a way to create their forever, the one they both dreamed of even years before they knew each other. He couldn't tell him his plan yet, Alan would only argue against it but that didn't mean he couldn't tell him another way. Seeing the love Alan held for him in his eyes he wondered how they ever got by all that time without the other. How they never realized happiness before this had just been a fabrication and now it was real. Now that he had it he was never going to let it go.<p>

Even with Eric over him, hands holding him, lips caressing his, he couldn't pull his minds from the fact that he was lose him, he would lose this. He couldn't help but worry about what Eric would do once he lost him. Would he take care of himself? Would he find happiness? He had been searching for it for years and after the past Eric had gone through he deserved it. He worked hard all these years to move on, his hard work should pay off. He should get to be free from the nightmares of his past because he was so much more than that.

Feeling their thoughts collide with the passion they had for each other they let it control them. They allowed the heat of the moment to wrap its arms around them. Yet as the fire inside of them stayed in check it grew rapidly, made them hungry for more, unleashed a wild side to them. A side Eric had never seen in Alan before and he wanted, needed to have.  
>"This is what you want Alan?" A low growl escaped his throat as he hungrily asked his love if this desire was okay.<br>"God yes. Take me away from here, I want to scream in agony yet want more. I want you." Wrapping his arms around his chest he forced him lower on him. He wanted Eric to push past the limits he had set for them before.  
>"Anything for you. I want you to scream my name."<br>"Just give me a reason to."  
>He was being teased, he didn't like being teased in bed, Alan would regret those words. With that Eric extinguished the only light in the room and let the darkness take over.<p>

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Okay I am off to work, you can thank my teacher getting sick and canceling class for this chapter. Please review for I love them and I love all of you that are reading this story.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Eric was smirking as he laid in bed beside Alan. That was incredible; he had never done anything like that with Alan before. He felt kind of bad for it, he would probably feel it in the morning.  
>"…Don't touch me…"<br>"You asked for it."  
>"A decision I am regretting. I can't believe that just happened."<br>Moving to see the face that was turned away from him he saw it was red with blush.  
>"Don't be like that. Come on admit it, you had fun."<br>"Please stop." Lifting the covers up from his waist he placed them over his head. Sneaking his hands under the covers Eric felt Alan jump to his touch as his fingers danced over his flesh.  
>"Eric!" Flipping over and sitting up he tried to catch his breath and get his heart to stop trying to beat out of his chest.<br>"Never thought I could take it so far did you?"  
>"Oh I thought you could, it's just, did that really just happen?"<br>"Which part? The part where I got you to scream my name or the part where your fingers grabbed him hair so tightly I swore you were going to rip my hair out? Oh and I think you left marks on my back."  
>"Oh God." Sliding back down he pulled the covers back over his face.<br>"You know, I never knew you had it in you."  
>"No more, please, stop talking." Staying hidden under the covers he tried to move passed the embarrassment. They had never done anything like that before, it was one of his wildest fantasies, something he read in romance novels. He never thought it would actually happen it him. It was fun though.<br>"Going to bed?"  
>"Trying to."<br>"Sleep well then." Wrapping his arms around Alan's waist, letting him know he wasn't going to try anything, he felt him relax and allow him to move closer so they could sleep without distance.

Lying in bed Eric watched Alan get ready for work. He hadn't been surprised to feel him get out of bed earlier to shower and get moving. Alan probably didn't know the words "sleep in".  
>"You really need to get up or else you'll make us late."<br>"I am up. I am talking to you aren't I?"  
>"You're still in bed and you knew what I meant. Don't you want to shower?"<br>"Nah I'll shower tonight I guess. The longer I can stay here the better. Besides I'm not like you, I can get dressed quicker."  
>Rolling his eyes Alan faced the mirror and fixed his shirt collar. Eric was such a lazy ass in the morning. Well all day sometimes but the morning was the worst.<br>"Hey Alan let me ask, what would you have done if you didn't become a Death God?" The question had been bugging him for some time now. He thought about the fact that Alan wouldn't be sick if he was in another department. He never would have been injured before, would always be safe if he hadn't been a Death God. Plus, he still saw him as a kind person, too innocent for the harshness of being a reaper. He could see him as someone who saved lives, not end them.  
>"What would I have done if I didn't become a Death God? I don't know I never thought about it. I always knew I was going to become one."<br>"You mean because of your father?"  
>"Yea." Sitting on the bed near Eric's feet he put getting dressed on hold for a moment. He was taken slightly off guard by what Eric asked. It was something he hadn't thought about in years.<br>"But you never met your father though, right?"  
>"Well not really. I was just a baby when he was killed. But I found his journals when I was still a child. I had been cleaning and came across it. The book was filled with all he learned and experienced. I knew from that day on that I wanted to be a Death God; I wanted to see what my father had. I also found letters from his co-workers and former trainee's for my mother talking about what a kind and helpful person he was to everyone. Not a negative word was ever uttered. I had such admiration for my father that I couldn't imagine myself not following his footsteps. I wanted to become as good as one as he was and help all those I could."<br>"What about your mother? What did she do? No offense but knowing who you are I would believe you would be in glasses or anything less physical."  
>"I don't know what my mother did. I figure she worked in some department but she never worked for as long as I can remember. The society saw to it that we were taken care of after she fell ill. And my father had created an account for us before he passed away that made sure we were well off. I mean we weren't rich or anything but we didn't have to worry about falling short on food money."<br>"I often wondered how you were taken care of being so young and your mother the way she was."  
>"Yea, the society had sent someone to take care of me and make sure my mother was eating until I was old enough. Then I decided to take over and help her. I stayed with her almost all day except to go to school and do the shopping but we didn't talk much unless it was to tell me what I did wrong so I don't what she did before I was born."<br>That had to be tough, to spend every day with someone and yet know nothing about them. Alan really didn't know anything about his parents since one died when he was just a baby and the other wouldn't talk to him, it was like his mother died with his father. No wonder he was how he was now. He personally may have hated his father but at least he knew him and he wasn't close with his mother but he could keep tabs on her, make sure she was alright.

Getting off the bed Alan finished getting ready for work. Eric swung his legs over the edge to start thinking about getting dressed.  
>"Its funny when I think about it, I don't remember my father at all but I have seen pictures of us and he is happy, my mother too. I can't help but think sometimes about how different my life would have been if I grew up with him. Oh well, no point thinking about it now and I know he is looking out for me." Grabbing the cord for his tie he wrapped it around the back of his neck, making sure both ends were even before grabbing the clip to attach it and move it up to his neck. Eric grabbed and slipped on a pair of boxer shorts before moving next to him.<br>"What is that thing? For as long as I've known you I've wanted to ask. I mean you stick to the books in everything so for you not to wear a tie seems off."  
>"It's called a bolo <em>tie<em> so it is one and it was my father's. He owned a few but I believe this was the one he wore the most. He may have died with this one. I found it with the letters." Looking closer at the clasp Eric took in all he just learned about the other. He felt bad for just now understanding things he should have known about the others for years. It never dawned on him that Alan would have looked up to his father as much as he did. He would never have used his old man as a role model so the thought never occurred to him. Plus knowing Alan never really knew his father he didn't think he would try to as he got older. Understanding all of this now he was only driven further to save him, not allow this dreamer, this man trying to live up to his father's image yet stay true to who he is, die by such a means as the thorns.

Alan sat at his desk trying to get the giant stack of paperwork to not seem so ominous. Having to work on it tonight though was a definite it looked like. It wasn't as horrible as it sounded after what took place last night he could use something to help things settle and not have it repeat. Eric had been cracking jokes since they left the house this morning about how he was feeling. He seemed to be under the impression that he was…sore…and…unable to sit, hating to burst Eric's bubble though he wasn't as bad as he thought. Fighting the blush in his cheeks he tried to get out the memory, get out any thoughts of the discomfort he was feeling. He was at work and Ronald was extremely observant, with his luck he would figure what took place easily and gossip it around. Oh God what if William overheard, someone kill him right where he was.  
>"Alan, are you okay? You're face is red." Hearing Ronald he jumped and tried to cover his face and thoughts. So much for letting the thoughts drop.<br>"Yes, I'm okay. Can I help you with something?" Trying not to think about it and hoping he would drop any thought to push the conversation of him blushing he jumped to the point of why Ronald was here. He knew he was busy with things as well, perhaps William wanted him or something.  
>"I just saw Eric and he wanted me to give you this. William called him in for an assignment; otherwise I'm sure he would have given this to you himself." Handing the note to Alan he waited a minute for him to look it over before making sure everything was okay.<br>"He is just telling me he is going to be late tonight, big assignment, a lot of work to handle after. Not to wait on dinner."  
>"Oh okay, so long as it's all good. Well, see you at lunch." Leaving Alan to his work he went back to his own. He wasn't able to tell Alan this but awhile ago Eric asked him to keep an eye on him, make sure he took it easy. Since Alan was his friend too he agreed but he wasn't completely for the idea. He didn't want Alan to think Eric didn't trust him on his own or anything of the sort. While he personally wasn't looking for anything long term he admired the relationship those two shared. It seemed like something straight from a fairy tale at times. And they didn't act all lovey-dovey to each other whenever they were near. To everyone they were just close friends, brothers even. It was nice to see that around here since everyone else kept a business appearance or were just simple friends that hung out after work at times and talked once and awhile during.<br>"Oh hey Ronald!" Catching him before he walked back to his desk Alan invited him over if he was interested. He had never been alone at Eric's before, the thought was strange to him.  
>"Can I taste you're cooking again?"<br>"Sure, I'll make whatever you'd like."  
>"Well alright then. Sounds like a deal to me."<p>

Eric hated lying to Alan, even though it was only a half lie he still was. He needed to start collecting souls though and after work was the only time he could. It wouldn't take long, a month tops. It was only a thousand souls how hard could it be? Fifty souls a night, he would be done in about twenty days. And he would make it up to Alan for leaving him alone so long, as well as saving his life. Just the thought alone made him okay with everything else. Walking around he looked for his first target for Will so he could get done with his work sooner and start with the pure soul collection for Alan. The quicker he got done here the sooner he could get back to him. They just moved in together he wanted to enjoy seeing him there. Even if things didn't get as physical as they did last night so long as he knew Alan was there, as long as he could wrap his arms around him while they sleepy then that was all he needed. He enjoyed feeling his light in bed besides him, that was all he really needed in life, well that and to know Alan was cured. So long as he had those two things he was content with everything else.

Alan sat at his table with Ronald laughing as they talked and ate. It was nice having him over. Rarely, if ever, had they hung out without Eric with them. He knew Ronald had wanted him to, to attend a group thing with him but he was unsure about it. Maybe one day he would. From what he learned about them they consisted of nothing more than drinking, music, talking, nothing that would imply he was cheating on Eric.  
>"Alan, I think you shouldn't have moved in with Eric. The three of us should have gotten a place together so I could eat your cooking every night."<br>"Eric's cooking is pretty good too."  
>"Yea but everything you cook comes out delicious, with Eric I feel it's a hit or miss. Especially when he doesn't have anything to cook."<br>Alan could agree with that, he had saved dinner for them a couple of times when Eric's experiments didn't go well. When they did though they did come out pretty tasty.  
>"What do you say, convince Eric to sell this place and the three of us will get a place together." He could tell Ronald was joking but he figured he would be more than excited if Eric was cool with the idea.<br>"No thanks. To be honest with you I didn't want to move in here, but Eric made a great argument and it answered my own question about what to do with my house."  
>"What to do with your?...Oh."<br>Alan watched as Ronald's face dropped at the realization of what he was getting out. It wasn't brought up much and when it was they didn't mention it directly but was always there.  
>"I had no intention of ever moving actually, I liked my house quite a lot. Unfortunately for me Eric has a way with words and it made it really hard to go against his argument." He tried to make Ronald laugh again; he didn't want to him dwell on the fact that he was indeed dying.<br>"I probably wouldn't want to live with you guys anyway. I bet it gets really loud here at night."  
>"What gets loud?" He had no idea what Ronald was talking about. Eric lived in a pretty quite area, if anything you'd hear the bugs at night but it wasn't to the point of not being able to sleep. Seeing the playful, teasing, smile cover Ronald's face it hit him.<br>"That's sick!"  
>"Oh come on, I'm just keeping it real."<br>"The fact that you thought of that is disturbing. And knowing you and Eric aren't brothers really surprises me. You both share the same brain sometimes. We are you're superiors you shouldn't thinks such things." It took all he had to keep his face from blushing over what took place last night. Focusing on the food in front he tried to change subjects, it wasn't like he knew what they did. Or did he? He was going to kill Eric if he said anything to him!  
>"Alan I respect you, I look up to you and Eric, but, I also know Eric pretty well and well, you live with him. Not to mention you two have been together for months now."<br>"Never."  
>"Never? As in never, never?"<br>"Just because we are together doesn't mean we have to become wild."  
>"Go figure. So does that mean you're still a virgin?"<br>"No!"  
>Holy, Ronald was exactly like Eric. He couldn't handle it, neither had boundaries. He hoped the lie would end the conversation not make it worse.<br>"I have slept with someone before."  
>"Who, with Eric?"<br>"Please stop,"  
>"No come on, this is guys talk at its finest."<br>"Oh my God." Slouching Alan shoved food in his mouth, this was way more then he could handle.

Eric followed a woman in the shadows waiting for the right moment. He finished his work some time ago now he was hunting pure souls for Alan. It was harder than he thought at first. He came across so many prostitutes, none of them worked, though; he would probably be doing them a favor. It was sickening really, how people that basically threw their lives away got to live while Alan, who loved life, slowly died due to illness. How he wished he could end all of them, but he needed pure souls and Alan deserved nothing but that anyway. The woman he followed was a little on the young side, possibly just turned sixteen. She seemed to be on her way home from a shopping trip as she carried a store bag. Seeing no ring on her finger he knew she wouldn't be leaving a family behind, well no children at least. Making sure the coast was clear and with her back to him he raised his blade.  
>"This won't hurt; I promise you won't feel a thing." Whispering to her she turned frightened by the voice she thought she heard behind her. He brought his blade across her releasing her cinematic record. Seeing he was correct in his judgment he collected her soul. One down, forty nine to go for today, nine hundred ninety nine more to go in total. At least he got past the hard part which was starting this task. He had debated if he should or not while he searched for the right woman. A part of him had been glad when others kept showing up instead. He kept telling himself that this was for Alan, to save his life, for his light, for their future. A thousands souls was nothing compared to all those that got to spend their time with the person they loved the most. He may live longer than them but that didn't mean he didn't want it too, that he didn't deserve it any less. Forever was a long time when you spend it alone. Finding the right person to spend it with made it bearable and once found you did all you could to not lose it.<p>

Alan sat in the single chair in the living room, the only piece of furniture he brought over from his place, reading after Ronald left for the night. He was getting tired but he wanted to wait up for Eric. He figured he would be home soon since it was getting pretty late and they both did have work in the morning. If Eric was planning to have an overnight at the office he would call, well he hoped he would call at least. Trying to keep his mind on his book he noticed he kept pulling from it. Something Ronald told him wouldn't leave his mind. It was nothing bad or even dirty compared to what they had talked about at dinner. It was just a simple observation, one he noticed as well months ago but was okay with. Ronald was cool with it too he just wanted to bring it up. He said he was surprised that he was seeing Eric, that they were together. They were more or less complete opposites when it came to personalities and he didn't see either of them "swinging that way." He had told Ronald the truth when he said that he didn't' either. He didn't believe he liked Eric as more than a friend for years and when he did like him like that he wasn't sure the feeling was mutual. While relationships like theirs were uncommon he knew Eric liked woman and at that time was in a relationship with one. Hearing Eric tell him he had feelings for him that were deeper than friends threw him off guard as well as making him extremely happy. And himself personally, he always daydreamed about woman, about finding the right one and possibly starting a family with them the way his parents had but falling for Eric the way he had and knowing he could be just as happy if not happier with him he easily gave that dream up. He wouldn't give Eric up just to be a father, especially now that he was going to die. He was happy with how things were now and he didn't need anything else.

Hearing the front door slowly opening and the sound of Eric's scythe gently being placed on the wall near the door he stood to greet him. He was glad to know he was finally home.  
>"Alan. I'm surprised you're still up." Eric stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the walkway to the front door surprised to see Alan come from the living room. By this time he was usually in bed.<br>"I wanted to wait for you to get home. I saved some dinner for you. I bet you're hungry."  
>"Nah I'm okay, I don't want to keep you up any longer. I can skip it."<br>"It's not good to go to bed hungry. Sit." Forcing him in a chair at the table he quickly heated the leftovers up and gave him a plate. Sitting beside him he just smiled and let him take his time. Eric seemed in a good mood considering he just got home from having extra work to do. Eric smiled over at Alan as he ate, he was glad to see him okay and he was in a pretty good mood. He got his goal of fifty tonight, he wouldn't say it got easier but it certainly felt good to know he was that much closer to saving Alan. Easy or not he could do it, he would do it.

As he finished up he placed the plate in the sink and taking Alan's hand brought him in to their bedroom. Quickly changing they both got into bed. Eric wrapped his arms around Alan to hold him close to his body allowing his head to rest behind his ear.  
>"Thanks for waiting. I love you." <em>*And only nine hundred fifty souls to go.*<em>

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I hope to get this up last night but I got a little side tracked thanks to watching the OVAs from the second season of the series. I hoped to get another chapter written today as well but it's twenty to 2 and I have work at 5:30 so I'm not counting on it. Please review and leave thoughts. Love you!  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Eric walked out of their bedroom to see the house a mess. Alan was a bit of a neat freak, how did this happen? Not to mention it was only seven thirty in the morning, it was a little early for Alan to be on a cleaning or even a panic kick. Were they robbed last night and he sleep through it?  
>"Alan? Are you okay?" Worried for him but even more worried to see how bad his living room was he stuck his head in the doorway to see Alan throwing things everywhere. Obviously he was looking for something. "What are you doing? It's only seven thirty, you usually aren't even this active yet."<br>"I lost something, something that wasn't mine and I have to give it back today."  
>"What was it, maybe I know or knew where it was."<br>"It was a book from the society's reference section, two of them actually. Technically they shouldn't have been removed from the library but they let me, they even gave me extra time with them too. I can't believe I can't find them. They must have gotten lost when I moved. Shit."  
>"Oh, those two, you used them for research right, the huge one and the standard looking one? I brought them back for you. I saw they came from the library when I packed up your living room and left them out so they wouldn't get lost. I brought them back the other week." Well not really but the truth was sort of there anyway. After he found the cure for Alan he brought them back since he carried the giant one with him and saw the due date coming up on it. Plus he wanted Alan to stop looking.<br>"You did?"  
>"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner I must have forgotten."<br>"No it's fine. Thank you for doing that for me. I'm glad to know I didn't lose them. Those two were very old and couldn't be replaced in most cases."  
>"Well I hoped to avoid this." Pointing to the mess around them Alan looked around too seeing the destruction he caused in his wake.<br>"Sorry. Go shower. I'll have this all put back by the time you're dressed. Maybe even have breakfast for us."  
>"Are you sure? I'll help."<br>"I've got it, go." Shooing him from the room he got to work putting the room in order. He did an absolute number here and in the hallway. Next time he would just ask Eric about something before he trashed the house looking for it.

Alan could tell something was different with Eric. His appearance looked the same, maybe heavier bags under his eyes but they had been swamped as usual and no one was sleeping properly from it. It was his attitude maybe? No, that didn't seem right either. That's what was really bugging him about it, he knew something was different but he had no idea what it was. When they were together whether it be at home or at work everything was normal but something was still bugging him. It was this little thought in the back of his mind that told him something was off. Asking Eric just brought him the standard, "I'm fine stop worrying about me," which translated to "stop worrying so much before you bring on an attack." And, while he truly appreciated being looked out for he didn't want Eric to feel like he didn't worry about him and that they couldn't talk. It seemed like they hardly talked anymore and frankly he hated it. He was partially to blame for not pushing that they did but Eric hadn't helped with it either. While the threat of an attack always looming over head and even more now that he hadn't had one in a few months, which meant he was due for one most likely, that didn't mean everything had to stop. Thinking about him frustrated him. He was so tired of arguing with Eric about letting him go to work, or if at work then it was about reaping. How many times did he have to tell him that he wasn't going to lay about all day doing nothing. Working, keeping busy, helped him push back the thought of his impending death.

"Hey Ronald, maybe you can help me." Standing behind his desk he searched through papers looking for his death list. He could have sworn he got one this morning. Seeing Ronald walking by he stopped him, he had also been in William's office when he received it, maybe he knew where he put it.  
>"Sure what's up Alan?" Switching the book he was holding to the other hand he walked over to him.<br>"William gave me a death list this morning correct? Because I can't seem to find it and I know he could get me a new one copy but I know he'll get upset with me over losing it."  
>"He did, I watched him hand it to you. I'll help you look for it." Placing his book on Alan's desk he went through the stack of papers on the opposite side of Alan. He already knew they wouldn't find it since Eric had it but he didn't want to tell Alan that.<br>"This is so strange I always keep it right on top of here. I can't think of when or why I moved it."  
>"Did it fall under your desk maybe?" Seeing Alan put down what he was going through he got down on all fours to look under the desk. Popping his head back up he used the desk to help him stand.<br>"You know where it is, don't you Ronald?"  
>"No. How would I know that?"<br>While Ronald was a pretty good liar he could tell he knew something, something he didn't want him to find out about.  
>"Eric has it, doesn't he?"<br>"No clue."  
>"Don't give me that, he tells you everything. If he took it from me you'd be the first one he told. He would use you as the distraction to get it. And to keep me from figuring it out."<br>Damn now what? He told Eric to keep him out of this but he never listened to anyone but himself.  
>"Ronald, tell me, what is going on? Why did Eric take my list from me? And why are you in on it?"<br>"Please don't hurt me okay? Eric took it from you because he didn't want you to go out there and over exert yourself."  
>"What?"<p>

Eric got back to the society just in time for lunch. He worked pretty damn quickly on Alan's list, only took him two and a half hours. He probably didn't even realize he was gone or that the list was missing. Walking into the offices he noticed Alan wasn't at his desk, seeing Ronald at his he headed over to him.  
>"Hey, seen Alan anywhere? Did he head to the cafeteria already?"<br>"No. He found out that you asked me to keep an eye on him and that you've been doing his assignments for him so he would have to stay here."  
>"And you didn't stop him?"<br>"I tried!"  
>"Fine! Well where is he now?"<br>"He stole Grell's death book right from his hands and took off. He is really fast when he is pissed."  
>"Fantastic! Tell William I'm still working!" With that he turned and ran back the way he came. What was Alan thinking? Couldn't he understand he was only looking out for him?<p>

Running down the streets of London he searched for Alan. He could be anywhere since Grell never worked in a zone like most of them did. What if he had an attack while he was reaping and collapsed again? What if he had an attack and someone or something went after him? He had to have realized by now that he was always weaker directly after the thorns went after him. When they didn't he was fine but it was during and immediately following he had to look out for.  
>"Alan! Alan where are you?" Yelling for him he already figured Alan would answer. If he was as pissed off as Ronald said then he figured Alan would stay hidden or silent. Reaching the water he ran along the shore, if Alan was working he didn't think he would be here but he would kick him later if he was here and he didn't look. Taking a closer look at a person sitting on the port he saw they were holding their knees and watching the water, that person also looked a lot like Alan.<br>"Alan. Hey." He went to sit next to him only to watch him get up.  
>"Go away. I don't want to talk to you right now."<br>"Well I want to talk to you. I saw Ronald, he told me about what happened. Let me explain."  
>"Oh don't bother! I got the message loud and clear."<br>"Alan, please. Let me explain. Unless you're working. He figured he wasn't since he was staring at the water but he needed to get Alan to stay.  
>"I have nothing to do. Grell actually finished his work for the day. The one day he does and I stole it from him so I could do something. It seems no one will let me do anything."<br>Eric grabbed his hand to pull him back down, he wanted to explain, he didn't want Alan upset. If he was agitated he could have an attack, he hadn't had one in months but that didn't mean he wouldn't. If anything it meant he was due for one.  
>"I want to be left alone right now. I have to really think things through. I may quit the society."<br>"What?"  
>"Well if no one wants me there; if I'm just a liability why stay? Why bother with any of it?"<br>"I don't want you to quit. I just want to keep you safe."  
>"I know, that's why you always wanted Ronald near me when you went out and I was alone at the office and why my death lists vanished on the days I actually got them and why I can't go more than a few feet without you worrying. You're so worried about me having an attack that's all you think about, it's why you came running after me."<br>"Alan…"  
>"Go ahead, try to deny it. You can't because it's the truth. You don't see me as me anymore, all you see is the damn thorns and you would probably leave if not for them. You would probably feel guilty, leaving a dying person, throwing them out of your house."<br>"I would never throw you out. I knew you were sick when you moved in you know that."  
>"Exactly. You had me move in because I was sick, because you didn't want me alone. Not because you loved me."<br>"That's not true, that's never been true. Come on Alan you have to have known." His own heart broke at those words. For Alan to believe he didn't love him, even after all their nights together, passion filled and not. Every time he told Alan he loved him he meant it. And sure he had pushed him to move in because of the thorns but he had always hoped they would live together at some point.  
>"Maybe you did at one time. But not now, that's gone now. I really just want to be alone right now. And I may not be home whenever you get there."<br>"Alan!"  
>Standing back up and turning to go after him he realized he was alone already. If only he had the souls like he should have, months ago. He only had seventy right now, he needed a thousand. Alan was right; he worried about him too much. He would only be gone for an hour, two tops before he went back to him. That was too short a time to collect the souls he needed. If Alan wanted to be alone right now then he would let him. It seemed he didn't want to listen to reason anyway. He would go collect some souls while he let Alan think things through properly, he was smart he would come to see the truth. The thought of getting the souls while he was working bothered him slightly, for the risk of getting caught was higher but the faster he finished this, the faster he saved Alan's life and that was worth any risk.<p>

Eric got to the house curious if Alan was here, it didn't dawn on him until he got closer that he hoped he hadn't actually packed up his things. Not that he had another place to go; they finally sold his house the other week.  
>"Alan? Are you home?" Slowly opening the front door he noticed the house looked dark and he couldn't hear anything to suggest Alan was here. His heart sank as he walked further in and saw no signs that Alan ever got here. Damn it, he would have to call Ronald and see if he went to his place. He was mad at both of them but if he didn't want to spend the night here he would probably go there. As far as he knew they were the only two Alan was close enough too. He spoke to Grell on occasion but not enough for him to want to spend the night. Heading into the living room he stopped seeing Alan clutching the fireplace with one hand and his chest with the other. His back was to the doorway so he didn't see Eric there. He was trying so hard to stay on his feet, to not let the pain knock him down.<br>"Alan!" Getting to him he gripped his shoulders hoping to get him to realize he was here. He was trying to breathe, trying to get the pain to pass.  
>"Eric?" Was that really him? He didn't know what was real right now and what was caused by the pain. His vision was always blurry and he heard so many voices in his head he could never place the real ones.<br>"I'm here, I've got you, you'll be okay." Feeling Alan let go of the fireplace and his feet trying to sink to the ground he held his shoulders tighter.  
>"Eric. I'm sorry…for what I said."<br>"Its okay, I know. Forget about it." Helping him to the couch he kept him close to his arms until he was absolutely certain that attack had passed. He was terrified to know where they were now on his body. Perhaps that was why Alan always wore long sleeves, so he wouldn't have to see them. So he wouldn't have to see how close they were to his heart, how close he was to death. He had to get those souls faster, this had to end. Feeling Alan pull away he moved his hands so he could sit up.  
>"Are you okay?"<br>"I am, thank you."  
>"I'm glad you were here. I hoped to talk to you, apologize for how I've acted. Get you to understand that I really do love you."<br>"I know you do. I'm sorry I said you didn't. I wasn't going to stay. I was going to spend the night elsewhere, in the human world. I always wanted to."  
>"I'm glad you didn't."<br>"Thank the thorns." Trying to smile he moved closer to him. He felt bad for earlier, for all he believed to be true even for a second. That was probably what brought on the attack, all of his pent up anger and emotions.  
>"Hungry? I can make us dinner if you'd like."<br>"I want to stay like this a while longer."  
>Fixing his hands to go back around he pulled Alan closer to his own body. He was almost to a hundred now, after today he had seventy five. It wasn't nearly enough he knew that but he was glad he stopped to come home. To be here for Alan when he truly needed it. Even though he got here late he was still here for the worst of it.<br>"You seem stronger than last time, you didn't lose consciousness."  
>"I'm getting better at handling them. I refuse to let them knock me out, take over all I know. And to be fair I only lost consciousness that once but I blame the weather for that one."<br>"Keep fighting okay."  
>"Always. I want my life too."<br>Keeping Alan in his arms he felt his body slowly start to relax completely. It seemed the thorns were letting him go for now. Looking at his face he saw him start to doze off. Side effect of the attack he knew that much. He couldn't help take the pain away from him or deal with it in place of him. But he could help him relax after. He should have the thorns not Alan, he always believed that. He was reckless and for years never cared about souls or the dead, even now he didn't really. Now all he cared about was death, how cold and final it was. He hated death, his whole being hated it. He hated it more now that Alan faced it, if only they could trade places, death could grip him and release Alan. He would be okay with it so long as Alan got to live on, he deserved it.

Seeing Alan had fallen asleep and was comfortable he moved off the couch and allowed his body to stretch across it. Placing his head on a couch pillow he pulled a blanket from the closet to tuck him in and keep him warm. Making sure he was okay he left him alone to head to the kitchen. He was hungry, Alan would probably be too once he woke up and he wanted to do something to show how much he cared. He never wanted Alan to think those things ever again, not even for a single moment. Standing in front of the stove he watched the pan simmer, becoming absorbed in the dish he was preparing, aiming for perfection. Focusing on the mixture of flavors taking place in front of him he didn't hear Alan come into the kitchen until he felt his hand touch his back so he could look around at what he was doing.  
>"Did the smell wake you?"<br>"I think so, well it woke up my stomach for sure."  
>"How do you feel?" Glancing over his shoulder quickly he took in Alan's face, making sure he was okay."<br>"Pretty well, just tired."  
>"Well after you eat you should go to bed." Feeling him nod against his back they went back to the silence. So much was still being spoken as their minds went to their thoughts until.<br>"You made my favorite."  
>"I did."<br>"This was the first meal you ever made for me."  
>"It is."<br>"I love you."  
>"I love you too."<p>

After they had eaten Alan took hold of Eric's hand to lead them to the bedroom. He didn't want to be alone, as selfish as it was he wanted Eric to lie with him, to hold him close, to rest his head on his chest. He always craved closeness after an attack. Feeling the warmth of the one around him he shut his eyes and allowed the other senses to absorb all that was Eric, the one he cared so much for. How could he ever doubt even for a second that that wasn't real? They both laid there for hours, taking the other in before calling it a night. Moments just like this one were the reason Eric didn't have more souls collected but he wouldn't trade these moments for anything else. He could never leave Alan alone when he wanted him here, even if it was to save his life. Maybe if he told him what he was doing he could but he knew he would never approve. He didn't want Alan to refuse the souls if he knew they were coming. No, he would stay silent for now, he would stay right here. Right where he belonged.

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This chapter is full of sappy goodness I think. And I'm finally getting somewhere. To be honest I never saw this story being this long. Thanks for all the reviews and love. I hope it continues, it makes me warm and fuzzy.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

New recruits; neither had anything against them. Well not really anyway, but there were so many new faces around them. Alan was all smiles to all of them and tried to help as many as he could. Whether it was where something was or who to talk to about something or just advice on how to handle the job he made sure they were seen to. Eric could only watch as Alan ran circles around him. He tried to help to; it was part of his job as being an officer and being one of the older members here. If Will made sure the newbie's could talk to him then he could do the same. But he wasn't sure what to do exactly; he felt odd going up to them and asking them directly if they needed something. It seemed strange though to see so many, it wasn't uncommon but usually one or two started with them. Looking around there was a least ten. Had they changed the final exam? It had been years since anyone he knew that took it so it was possible.  
>"M…mister Slingby, sir? Do you have a minute?"<br>Turning he saw a student, he had no clue what their name was and he only half cared to really ask for it.  
>"Yea?"<br>"Could you please explain to me what something means?" Man this kid was scared shitless right now. Was he really that scary looking to the rookies? Was Alan this scared of him when he started?  
>"Sure. What?"<br>"Well…um…it's this column here. I'm not sure what to fill it in with. What's the reference number?"  
>"Oh that is this id number here. And make sure it get filed with that number too so it done correctly."<br>"Okay. Thank you."  
>"No problem."<br>Sending the rookie off he realized he didn't see Alan anymore. Well whatever they had nothing to do together anyway. He would see him either when the day ended or back home.

Alan walked to the training room with a bunch of new employees or possible employees to show them around and give them pointers. Final exams were coming up for them and so all the seeded employees had to help them out. Show them how things were run and what to expect. It was the closest he would get to mentoring so he took advantage of it. Technically he was eligible to do so but he knew William would never approve it because of his condition. That was okay, he would have felt terrible if something happened while they were out on assignment. And he was sort of glad to hear that Eric probably wouldn't get someone to mentor either. He wasn't sure if he told William he didn't want one or not but he heard rumors of who would be getting people and he didn't hear Eric on that list.  
>"Will you train with us sir? Show us how it's done properly and what we are doing wrong?"<br>"Sure. But I may take it slightly easier than I would on the field. I'm coming off an injury and don't want to reinjure it." They all agreed and allowed him to show them a few things. He didn't have to tell anyone about the thorns if he didn't want to so he kept it from whomever he was helping. The more he learned about how his body felt before an attack the more he could prepare against it. As he started training the group he thought about getting Eric to come help him He was the one who originally showed him how to do all of this after all. Not getting the chance to he didn't worry about it, tomorrow was another day after all.

Alan walked into the house to see it was empty, that wasn't too strange lately. Eric had been staying out late for the last few weeks it seemed. Ronald had created parties for the new members to help them relax and talk to the older ones. Even William had joined them on the first one, it was a historic moment for him but he hadn't gone since. He probably saw all the alcohol and flirting taking place and knew not to trust Ronald's parties anymore. There had also been a few group dates that had taken place that they both attended, though not as a couple. He hadn't felt too hot to go last time but he trusted Eric to know he wouldn't do something incredible stupid with someone else. Plus he basically threw him out of the house telling him he was just going to sleep early and not to worry, though telling him that just meant Eric would worry all night. He probably did too, but he stayed out all night so he obviously got the message. Not sure when he would get home Alan started dinner for himself. He worked up quite an appetite from helping the trainees. He was excited to see who would pass the final exam and start to work with them as a reaper and would go to the other departments. Once he was cleaning up from dinner he moved to the living room to get comfortable and wait for Eric, he could call Ronald to see if he knew when he would get home but then Eric would probably feel the need to run home and there was no need for that. They deserved their down time seeing how busy they had been lately.

Alan woke up feeling hands wrap around his waist, it seemed Eric was finally home. He wasn't sure what time it was but as long as he was home safe and sound he didn't care. Moving closer to Eric he fell back asleep, feeling his warmth around him.  
>"Sorry to wake you."<br>"No…its fine….glad your home." Mumbling he smiled feeling lips on his forehead. Both fell asleep peacefully feeling the other near. Eric felt bad making Alan sleep alone some nights but he was trying to collect souls again. He still wasn't at a hundred yet it was disgusting.

Walking back into their bedroom after showering Alan heard Eric mumbling something while he tossed about. Quickly going to him he saw sweat beading his forehead. Not again, this was starting to really worry him.  
>"Eric, Eric wake up!" Holding his shoulders down he stopped him from thrashing in the bed. His eyes snapped open as he sat up nearly throwing Alan off him.<br>"Alan? Shit. Did I hurt you?" Breathing heavy he tried to get it to return to normal. God he couldn't take it anymore, he hated shutting his eyes and trying to rest.  
>"I'm fine but it's you I'm worried about." Throwing on his work pants he took his towel to wipe some of the sweat off Eric's forehead. "These nightmares are happening a lot it seems like. You look so exhausted. Is it still the same one, the one with all the voices?"<br>"Yea it is and it's nothing I'm sure. Maybe I just need a day off." Seeing the look on Alan's face he could tell he wasn't buying it. "What do you want me to do huh? They are just dreams. Seeing the nurses aren't going to do anything."  
>"Well then let me help you, please, maybe together we can figure out what's causing them."<br>Sadly he already knew what was causing it; he was hearing eighty-four voices in his mind, hearing their pleas to be released, to find peace. At this rate he wasn't sure he could handle a thousand souls. He would do it for Alan of course but he might go crazy by then.  
>"I'm really worried about you, what if you're haunted again? That could be it couldn't it?"<br>"I'm not being haunted it's just a reoccurring dream, it happens." Pushing Alan away he got up to shower he felt covered in sweat it was gross. Maybe he would take a trip to visit someone after work today and try to get the voices to stop, or at least find a way to get Alan to not worry. Getting out of the shower and dressed for work he saw Alan finishing breakfast for them.  
>"Is what's happening why you get home so late?"<br>"What?" Already pouring a second cup of coffee he sat down pulling a sausage off the plate.  
>"Your nightmares. Are they the reason you get home so late?"<br>"Partially. Since I'm not mentoring anyone I have taken on a few extra assignments for Will. Assignments the newbie's couldn't handle."  
>"I see." Seeing Alan stare into his cup before sitting he waved his fork at him.<br>"The thorns have nothing to do with it. Will likes working you like a dog knowing it's less he had to worry about."  
>"He hasn't let it bother my work has he?" He didn't mean it as a question, it was the truth. William was probably the only one that was glad to hear him ask for more work and assignments. He had no problem giving him things to do when it seemed Eric and Ronald liked to make sure he did less.<br>"If you need more to do see if he has anything for you."  
>"Maybe I will, though I'll be happy with just training the newbie's. I really enjoy helping them out and working with them in preparation for their final."<br>"You should have become a teacher I bet you would have loved it."  
>Seeing the smile over what Eric said take over Alan's face they went back to their breakfast, they stopped talking about work and nightmares and enjoyed the simple company of each other.<p>

Eric walked into the Undertakers building forgetting how strange this place was. This guy was obsessed with death and even though he sort of was too this place was the extreme of that. Knowing he could show up any where since he wasn't at the desk he looked around slightly frightened to see too much. Hearing his unmistakable laughter he jumped a good ten feet and towards the door  
>"I wondered when you would come to see me. Tea?"<br>"No, I want answers and I know you know that."  
>"Ah yes I've seen your plea for Humphries life. Such a pity he will die. Though he will make such a beautiful corpse. Lovely really, one of my finest I believe. Yes he will,"<br>"Stop! Alan isn't going to die, you aren't going to touch him!"  
>"Sorry dearie, you are trying so hard. I've seen the lovely job you're doing. Just smiles they all have. They must have trusted you."<br>"Will you shut up!" Pushing the old reaper away from him he tried to get as far from him as he could."  
>"Such a temper. Ah such commotion in your mind, so many voices yes? They must hold such company."<br>"How did you know about that?" Curious about what he had to say he stepped a little closer to him again, allowed his body to rest against a desk littered with bottles for the dead. He waited to hear what he had to say knowing he hadn't yet told him about the voices.  
>"I know it all dearie, poor innocent Alan and his incurable disease, your hunt to fulfill a legend by collecting a thousand pure souls. Souls need a place to stay or else they'll die dearie. You're weapon may collect each soul but your body holds them, keeps them alive until they move to their intended person."<br>"Will Alan have to hear them too once he receives them?" He knew right now that Alan would never be able to handle this, the voices would drive him insane, he would become even more emotional then he already was.  
>"No, they will destroy the darkness of the thorns and then they too will die."<br>"Can I stop the voices then?"  
>"Are they keeping you awake? You're always welcome here. I could keep you from hearing them at night."<br>"No thanks."  
>Shrugging at what was Eric's loss he moved to a book beside Eric idling flipping through it.<br>"The voices are seeking solace; practice will allow you to tune them out. As for the nightmares, that is your soul fighting against itself over what you're doing. Over your conscious knowing that while you're doing this to save young Alan your still killing innocent woman in cold blood. I must ask, is it worth it?"  
>"Of course, no matter what happens to me Alan must live!"<br>"Sorry to anger you dearie, perhaps staying close to Alan then would help you ward off the nightmares. Or maybe you could allow them manifest into something that swallows your sanity."  
>Not really getting anything out of this visit Eric stood to leave. This was a waste of time. He would do what he was doing and handle the consequences as they arose. He could try to hide the nightmares better, maybe try those teas Alan had been wanting him to take a crack at since this started.<br>"Leaving so soon? Tell Alan dear that he has to stop by more often. I want to size him, only the best coffin for that one."  
>Trying not to slap the retired reaper he walked out, slamming the door behind him.<p>

Getting home he saw Alan reading on the couch. Sitting beside him he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.  
>"Eric?"<br>Alan had to live on no matter what. Even if his body perished doing this for him he had to live on and continue to be someone's light.  
>"God I love you."<br>"Eric?" Worried by the weird behavior he closed the book he was still holding and looked at the one he was now with. "Are you okay?"  
>"Never better."<br>"Oh, okay. Have work to finish?"  
>"Ssshhh."<br>Using only his lips he quieted Alan, stopped him from worrying about him for the moment. He had told the Undertaker the truth; if anyone was to die it wouldn't be Alan. He figured he would die and he was okay with that. He had been as soon as he found this current cure. He couldn't think of a way to get the souls over to Alan without ending his own life. Ever since meeting him he saw what his purpose was in this world. That purpose was to save Alan, Alan could live on, find someone new, watch all of his dreams come true. Possibly even have that family he knew Alan always wanted but would never get so long as they stayed together.

Even more confused and worried by Eric, Alan allowed their lips to connect. This scared him only for the fact that Eric hadn't been sleeping right lately and had been working so hard. Oh God what if he became sick too? What if he searched for a way to get the thorns so they could die together, a Romeo Juliet tragedy.  
>"No!"<br>Eric pulled back taken off by what Alan said. He had never been against a kiss before. Well not since they had been together.  
>"You can't die too, I won't let you!"<br>"Alan?" Now it was his turn to be confused by the other.  
>"I refuse to let you get this illness, I won't stand for it."<br>"Who told you I was?" Had someone started a rumor, something so far from the truth that it would never stick? "I'm fine I promise you. Don't worry."  
>"Promise?"<br>"Sure, I promise. My goal is to get you better, not get myself sick."  
>"You're still trying to find something?"<br>"I am and I'm so close I can feel it."  
>"I see. Then what was just now about?"<br>"What I can't kiss you anymore? I realized that I've left you alone a lot. Especially at night and I know how much you don't like being alone then. I wanted to say sorry."  
>"Oh, well, then your forgiven." Moving to his knees he allowed them to pick up where they left off. He missed this, he missed Eric, so many nights he had gone to bed alone and he hated it.<p>

From being with someone Alan learned something no book could ever hope to teach him; feeling of a lovers flesh on one's own was the best feeling ever. Nothing could ever replicate it. His body became more aware when his lovers body touched him. He could hear everything they did, feel everything they did, he felt so alive. Something as simple as love making was really so complex, no wonder humans believed it should only take place with the one you truly loved. And through it you could really see the soul of someone. On the outside Eric looked rough and aggressive but really he was so gentle and caring. He always took care of him; that was who he really was. That was who he was in love with.

Eric was happy to push past the nightmares, the lies, everything he had to so long as Alan remained in the dark. So far no one but the Undertaker knew of what he was doing and it didn't sound like he planned to tell Will. He would collect all the souls soon, Alan would be free. They would be together or he would die trying. Cradling Alan in his arms, looking into his eyes, into his slowing dying soul he made it promise him not to give out. Seeing the fire that burned inside his love he knew the promise was accepted. It was still so strong, so determined just as Alan was and it was beautiful just as its owner was.

While they were together enjoying each other Alan wanted to tell Eric a request he had. The words wouldn't come though. He wanted to tell him that when his time came, when his life was ending he wanted to die in Eric's arms. That was all he wanted, to not die alone, to die in the arms of the one he loved. Feeling Eric hold him tighter he knew he understood, their souls had discussed it and his had accepted the request.

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>Filler chapter I guess since I didn't get where I wanted to. Reviews make me smile, if only they created more writing time then you guys would be set with updates. I'm going to try to write this weekend but I'm not sure I'll be able to so expect the next update around Tuesday. Love you!<br>~Femalefighter~


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Things never changed, not really anyway. And Alan had worked here and knew people long enough that he should have know that, especially when one of those people was Eric Slingby. He still spent most nights out thanks to Ronald. He personally didn't care if he did since he didn't care to go with them and get drunk, the appeal was something he still couldn't see. But so long as Eric swore he was never with anyone else and had no intention of changing that every time he went out for a gathering then he was happy for him to go out with Ronald. Of course Eric also teased with him that he was breaking a lot of hearts this way and he should feel honored to be with him but he knew the women would somehow manage. Given no reason to doubt Eric and not hearing Ronald talk about any incident he happily let Eric go out. Plus, as much as he loved being home with him he wasn't possessive. Eric deserved a life outside of work and them. Coming from punching in for the day he heard Eric a few steps back yawning. He hadn't come home again last night; Ronald must have kept him at his place from being too drunk. Eric promised him he would come home every night so Alan wouldn't sleep alone but this was Eric after all and he knew him too well. And he could tell the drinking was helping him cope with the fact that he was dying. While he would have preferred him using another method at least he knew Ronald took care of him when he got so bad and didn't want them to break up. That fear always got to him, that Eric would realize them staying together was pointless and end it.

"Aah! So tired!"  
>"Eric did you go out again yesterday night?" He may have already known the answer but others were around them. Others that they left in the dark about their relationship and they that they lived together.<br>"Na, I have a lot to do you know?"  
>That was surprising then why didn't he come home?<br>"As a senior, you must act as a role model!"  
>"I know, I know." Okay so Alan wanted answers, yea not going to happen. He skipped drinking to collect souls. Souls he didn't want to tell Alan about.<br>"If you keep acting so rash, how can you become a good role model?" He deserved answers and they were helping rookies prepare for finals, all nighters that were nothing but partying could get Eric in a lot of trouble. They were finally working together again he didn't want Eric to blow it for them.  
>"Got it."<br>"Moring!" Ronald came up between them in a great mood as always, did he ever have an off day? Eric grabbed the paper from the end of the hall before sitting at his desk. He really needed coffee; he wasn't feeling work right now. Hearing William talk to Ronald he easily tuned him out.

Alan sat at his desk hearing the daily conversation between Ronald and William, those two had to be friends. The way Ronald spoke to him was much too laid back for them not to be.  
>"Oh you're kidding! I wanted to go on a group date with the girls from the General Affairs Department."<br>It was hard for Alan not to smile at that one, he sounded so bummed at the thought of working late and not being able to go out. As he walked past his desk Alan couldn't help but give him some words of wisdom, help him feel a little better.  
>"Ronald! You must remember, <em>actions speak louder than words<em>."  
>"Got it Alan." Respecting his superior and friend he happily took the advice before starting to walk away. Remembering something he wanted to ask him he turned back to him.<br>"Ah won't you come with me? There are not enough people today." Plus it had been forever it felt like since Alan joined him for a night out.  
>"Oh! I'll come." Barely lifting his eyes from the paper both looked over at Eric. So he had been paying attention to their conversation.<br>"Eric!" The man hadn't been home for a complete night in weeks. While he didn't look as exhausted as he had in the past he still wished he would take it easy. Plus he really wanted to talk to him about that and in general.  
>"Pssh, even if Eric comes it will turn out to be something like that group date with the secretary department. Nothing but drinking." Down side to Eric being in a serious relationship, he lost in partner in crime for picking up the ladies. At least Alan had a cute face; woman flocked to him whether he wanted them too or not. It helped him personally swoop in and work his magic. Eric didn't do that for him, his face reminded woman of a bad boy which got Eric woman but they wanted to stay with him. Walking away to do what he had to while they talked Ronald grabbed some paperwork for Alan as he did every morning.<br>"Ah that sure was fun. It's wonderful when someone else pays for your drinks."  
>Hearing what Eric and Ronald were talking about Alan's interest in the conversation perked up. Secretary department, no way, he wouldn't, would he? Seeing Ronald come back to his desk he was handed his paycheck with a few other papers, well that was at least one pleasant thing this morning was bringing.<br>"Oh, Eric really does not understand what real fun is." It was true, serious relationships once again killed the fun of flirting and having friends with benefits. Still he was happy about the success he had the other night with the one department. The woman of his dreams arrived thanks to Eric and his former connection with her. And he wouldn't tell Alan this of course but he felt those two still had something. He wasn't sure if they acted on it but the history with them was still pretty strong. "And the idol of the secretary finally came…" Just those words alone made chills of excitement run through him.  
>"Oh! I dumped her!" Okay dumped wasn't the proper word since he wasn't technically seeing her. But she had been clingy to him whenever they got together and he was tired of telling her to back off so he ended things completely with her. Made her hate him so she would get the point that he was no longer interested, that he hadn't been interested since he ended it with her. Glancing over at Alan he hoped this conversation wouldn't led to a fight later. He wanted Alan to know he was still the only one he had and wanted.<br>"No way! Was she dumped by Eric?" No! They couldn't have ended that relationship; he wanted to try to put his moves on her. Now she probably wouldn't come anytime she knew Eric was coming. "I am quitting!" Losing his will for tonight he collapsed in a ball near Alan's desk. Alan got where Eric was coming from and tried not to smile too hard.

Luckily for him his attention was pulled from Ronald's despair as he really looked at the daily list he received from last night. The report bothered him, it was a good thing William was still close so he could ask him about it and see if he knew what it was about.  
>"William. London, West Minster area had no designated deaths but people are dying continuously. And more over not one single soul was collected from there." Handing the list over to him he waited to hear what he said about it. Seeing the look of disgust on his face meant he probably saw this coming. Eric looked up completely from the paper hearing what Alan said. Trying to not worry too much he internally cursed the person that gave that list to Alan. Nothing good would come from that. He was for once grateful to hear Grell show up and go off about something. Maybe that would change the topic away from that list. But if William knew about the deaths without collected souls already then what else did he know? The more he heard the more it sounded like Grell was in charge of the one assignment and William suspected it was due to demon work. That was good it could stay like that. Relaxing back into his chair he was about to forget about it until he heard William talk to Alan about an assignment.<br>"Alan Humphries I appoint you as the new person in charge of case number six hundred sixty-six, forty-two, forty-two." Seeing the look of shock on Grell's face he knew that was the one they were talking about before the red heads arrival. Shit. Now what should he do? Wait that was perfect if Alan got the case then he could make sure he wasn't found out until he finished collecting the rest of the souls.  
>"I'll support him!"<br>Seeing the look on Alan's face he could tell he didn't like that idea, that he believed he still didn't think he could handle it due to the thorns. It may not have been the truth but it would work as an excuse for them to work together.  
>"But Eric?" Why? Why couldn't he let him do a job alone? It had been months since he had an outside assignment and even longer since he did it alone. He wanted to prove himself to everyone. Let them see that he was still strong, still able to handle everything about this job without constantly being watched.<br>"Eric Slingby. Fine then I'll leave it to you."  
>No, this wasn't fair. "What support? I'm fine on my own!" Seeing William walk away he started to go after him. Hearing Grell behind him and that gaining William's attention he knew the partnership was final. Pissed he turned to take his weapon from Eric and went to follow Grell. Eric knew Alan was mad at him for butting in since he walked behind him and kept his distance while they headed to London. Whatever, so long as Alan stayed safe and didn't learn the truth. They would be on this assignment for a while; this whole thing would blow over in no time.<p>

Walking through London they both knew Grell had run off, they figured as much and so long as he didn't create more trouble they didn't care. Neither had spoken since they left and Eric personally was tired of it. He didn't see Alan staying mad at him this long.  
>"Come on, this isn't so bad is it?"<br>"I can't believe you."  
>"What, oh come on. I only said it so we could work together."<br>"Yea right. Who are you trying to fool?" Trying to stay disconnected he admired the shops they were near. It was hard but he was determined to make his point clear, Eric could only pull the same stunt over on him once.  
>"Alan, think about it. It's been months it feels like since you and I worked together. I took this opportunity to change that. I thought you would like the idea too."<br>"It has been awhile hasn't it?" Seeing the truth he relaxed that Eric had really just wanted to work together with him. Perhaps he was finally starting to learn. "I would probably be on this assignment for awhile too."  
>"Exactly, I probably wouldn't see you in days and that's best case scenario."<br>"Okay. Well then maybe I'm not so upset with you after all."  
>"Good to hear."<br>Seeing the light blush on Alan's face Eric smiled to. It was great to know he still did that to him. Moving to the roof tops they moved faster looking for clues. Eric didn't want to move too fast and over exert Alan but he hated sauntering about as well when on a mission. He may not have wanted Alan to look too hard into this or find anything to prove it was him but doing things differently would only look more suspicious.

They had been at it for hours, they couldn't even find Grell and with Alan so close he couldn't even try to collect souls. Perhaps joining him wasn't the best idea, all this was doing now was wasting time, time he really didn't have. Looking over at Alan he could tell he was exhausted, he may not be having an attack at the moment but the thorns had clearly weakened him over time.  
>"Why don't we find a place for the night? Morning will be here soon."<br>"We don't have to stop because of me. I'm fine."  
>"I know. I was just thinking that's it's been a while since I was actually with you for the night. I miss holding you."<br>Seeing the wide, beautiful smile he loved cover Alan's face he knew agreed with the idea.  
>"Sure. Let's find a place than. I think we passed an inn not to far back."<br>Following Alan they both were happy to get a room, well Alan came through the window since the innkeeper only had a room with one bed left but they weren't complaining. Sliding into bed together, feeling the warmth of the other, how both missed this. Eric kept him as close as possible. Every night he spent away from him he tried to see if he could handle not feeling Alan in his arms. It turned out he couldn't, he would just toss and turn. Being unable to sleep he would continue his hunt, his search for the souls to save Alan's life. Feeling Eric holding him tight Alan snuggled closer to him. How he missed this, how he missed him. He wanted this, just this for as long as he could. He needed nothing fancy, didn't need to keep working, didn't need assignments, so long as he had Eric, had this, than nothing else mattered. So long as he had him, had their love for each other then he could die happy, die feeling fulfilled no matter how much the thorns tried to get him to think otherwise.

Rolling over Alan noticed the bed was empty. Opening his eyes he saw he was right, he was alone, not again. Sitting up he hoped to see Eric in the adjacent bathroom, seeing it dark he sighed and sat up further. He should have known that even a mission wouldn't keep Eric here. Hearing the door handle turn he saw Eric trying to sneak back inside the room.  
>"Oh. You're up already."<br>"How drunk are you?" Crossing his arms he didn't even try or want to hide the attitude he felt towards him right now. He couldn't even spend one night with him anymore without drinking? What if they had had sex, would he have stayed then? Coming inside fully he shut the door behind him. "Not drunk, terribly sober right now." Joking and with a smile on his face he held a brown bag up higher for Alan to see better, "Got us some breakfast since I was up a little earlier and didn't want to wake you."  
>"Oh." Uncrossing his arms he dropped the attitude and instantly felt bad for thinking he had been drinking. Having Eric join him back in bed he accepted the scone he bought him. "How long have you been up then?"<br>"A few hours. I don't know about you but I couldn't sleep with this mattress."  
>"Really? That's funny because I enjoyed it. I thought it was comfy and soft. If you didn't sleep well then want me to go out and investigate for us while you relax?"<br>"Nah I'm alright. Besides I don't think staying here will help me much."  
>With that once they ate they gathered the few items they had and left. It hadn't dawned on them that Alan came in through the window until they came down the stairs together and Eric checked out. Well looked like they would have to find a new place if they stayed in London for another night. Doing nothing or not last night didn't matter much to humans when it came to un wed people and bed.<p>

It was mid day and they hadn't even come across Grell yet. They both hoped he wasn't doing anything that would get them into trouble. Eric was already trying to make sure he covered his tracks from the morning he didn't need to deal with any trouble Grell brought. It seemed the women he killed this morning were in the mid day paper already. He needed to really be careful and watch himself to make sure Alan didn't catch on. Not yet, he couldn't learn the truth yet. Telling that Alan was becoming frustrated with finding out nothing useful for them on the streets he followed him to the last place he really wanted to go, the Undertakers. Of course he would have information on the case; he also knew the truth behind the deaths. Not to mention he didn't like the fact that he wanted to get his hands on Alan for some pre-planning over his death. If it wouldn't get him in even more trouble than he was already in he would slap him so hard across the face he would be forced not to talk to them about it. Getting closer he stopped seeing two people walk out from there.  
>"Well I'll be damned."<br>"Eric?"  
>Seeing Eric smirk and mumble something he saw what Eric was looking at. What was something like that doing at the Undertakers?<br>"So, you are the rumored Sebby-darling? Pretty hot indeed."  
>Seeing him move closer to the demon Alan stayed close behind. He wasn't going to let his guard down to a demon the way his partner was. He hoped they didn't start fighting right now though, not that he didn't want to or couldn't but they were on a mission they couldn't afford to get sidetracked. Unless, had Eric discovered that this pair, this human and demon pair were somehow involved in the recent killings. If so then why didn't Eric tell him? What was he trying to hide from him?<p>

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>Chapters may come up faster since I am where I am. Reviews are still amazing though and I love them as much if not more then I have before. Love everyone reading this story.<br>~Femalefighter~


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

"Well I'll be damned."  
>"Eric?"<br>Seeing Eric smirk and mumble something he saw what Eric was looking at. What was something like that doing at the Undertakers?  
>"So you are the rumored Sebby-darling? Pretty hot indeed."<br>Seeing him move closer to the demon Alan stayed close behind. He wasn't going to let his guard down to a demon the way his partner was. He hoped they didn't start fighting right now though, not that he didn't want to or couldn't but they were on a mission they couldn't afford to get sidetracked. Unless, had Eric discovered that this pair, this human and demon pair were somehow involved in the recent killings? If so then why didn't Eric tell him? What was he trying to hide from him? He could hear the other two talking as they stepped closer, was the demon truly protecting the human from them? In reality it should have been the other way around. They should be the ones protecting the boy from the demon.  
>"It appears that the two of you have arrived a tad late."<br>Was that demon filth really talking to them about being punctual? Demons were known to do whatever they pleased whenever they pleased and that included getting their next meal. Going to snap back Eric got to it first, only he was still laid back about this?  
>"Man, nothing is eager than fault finding. Lately, a lot of stuff happened. We need to work overtime everyday! It's really backbreaking. Say, whaddya doing here?"<br>Alan couldn't believe Eric was actually creating small talk with him. They had a job to do, he was a demon, they shouldn't waste time with the likes of him. Still, he wasn't sure what he was getting at or if he knew anything so he kept his mouth shut. He had no choice but to wait and see. Hopefully Eric knew what he was doing. Watching the human boy he saw he was watching the demon and Eric too, maybe they did have something to do with the killings.  
>"If I may ask. Do I have the duty to inform Death Gods?"<br>"Nah, don't think so."  
>"What an understanding gentleman. Completely different to some garden tool-carrying individual I happen to know."<br>Eric may have been laughing at the crack at Grell but no demon had any right to talk about their co-worker.  
>"Eric! Do not pay attention to what a demon says!" That was it; he wasn't going to let this conversation drag on any longer. He didn't care if he knew something or not, he would end this demon right here and now. Readying his weapon he went after Sebastian.<p>

"Alan!" Watching Alan go after Sebastian Eric stayed back and let him. It would be good for him to let out some of the pent up frustration he held for this demon and this case.  
>"Sebastian!" Hearing Ciel yell for Sebastian as Alan used his weapon to deflect a knife back towards him he saw him move back and safe before drawing Alan away.<br>"It's nice to meet you." Alan was a smart fighter but Eric watched him being toyed with. That was unlike him, to run into a fight like this and fight so blindingly, unless, unless he was trying to prove a point to him, show him he could still fight well. That idiot.  
>"Stop it, Alan. It's not the time to play with demons." He wanted him to stop before he hurt himself. There was no way he could win with his emotions involved, he had taught him that before. Before he had a chance to do something about it though his body froze as his biggest fear for Alan came true in front of his very eyes. He wasn't sure if Sebastian had hit him or not but he saw him start to gasp for air while his weapon lowered and he tried to breathe. He was having an attack.<br>"Alan!" Dropping his weapon he ran to him. Placing his hands on his shoulders he watched him collapse to the ground. This was bad, he wouldn't be able to stay with Alan and fight off Sebastian.  
>"Hiiii!" Hearing Grell he had never been so happy to see him in his entire life, he had given enough distraction for Sebastian to put away his weapons. Good maybe Grell would do enough to allow him to help Alan better. Hearing him talk about the thorns though he wanted to slap him, or better yet cut him with his death scythe. How stupid could he be to tell the enemy about Alan's weakness? And how did he of all people know about it? He didn't think Alan ever told him because he had a big mouth and the goal was to tell as few people as possible.<p>

Alan clutched his chest while his body stayed huddled on the ground. The attack came so suddenly it had taken him completely off guard. He knew he was defenseless right now and a perfect target for the demon so then why had he stopped? Feeling Eric's hands gripping his shoulders he tried to breathe, all that came were short pained gasps for air though. Hearing the voice that could only be Grell's he turned his head to face him for a second before being consumed by the pain the thorns brought. He could barely hear anything at the moment, he knew Grell was talking but couldn't make out what he was saying. Eric whispered something in his ear before he felt him help him off the ground; get him to sit up at least. His body was in too much pain to do anything else at the moment. Slowly regaining his senses he sat up on his own. Now he could hear that Grell was talking about, he was telling the others about the Thorns of Death. Hearing those words he couldn't help but let them sink in, let him see his hand still on his chest. For the first time he really saw how real this illness was. Why Eric was always so worried.  
>"Are you okay?" He heard Eric whisper to him and tried to nod yes to him. Feeling Eric's hands now gently touching his shoulder he tried to stay strong, tried to keep fighting. Feeling the pain twinge again he let out a sharp exhale and in the corner of his eye he saw Eric leaning over, offering as much support as he could. God why did it have to hurt so much? Why did he have to end up in so much pain? Holding his chest a little tighter he used his free hand to keep him sitting up as best as he could even though his body wanted to ball up. Watching Grell move past them he felt Eric let him go. It seemed the enthusiasm Grell had for the thorns and his suffering was getting to him too. Not that he didn't have long to dwell on it as the thorns attacked him again, collapsing to the ground he felt Eric pull him up and practically hold him in his arms. Seeing Eric's hand on the one that clutched his chest he used the other one to hold it, feel that it was there. He hurt, the thorns kept attacking, he could barely breathe, he needed something stable to keep a hand on.<br>"Are you alright? Where does it hurt?" Eric needed to help him more somehow. Feeling Alan place on hand on top of his own and seeing the pain and terror in his eyes he could see how scared he was. All he could do was keep him close though, try to tell him that he would alright. Hearing Sebastian talking to Ciel he tried to split his focus between them and Alan. While he hadn't heard enough he knew they were talking about Alan and the boys home. Feeling Alan trying to sit up he released his hand to help him.

Taking it easy yet forcing his body to work with him he let go of Eric's hand and stay up. He had heard pieces of what the demon said and wanted to make sure his thoughts were heard.  
>"Well what do the two of you think of it?"<br>As Sebastian stepped closer he felt Eric let go of him, he could tell he was still watching him. Making sure he was okay, but allowing him to make the decision on his own.  
>"Being invited by you arch enemy is pretty fascinating too, isn't it?"<br>"Alan!" What was he thinking? It wasn't safe for him to go there. They could find another inn where he could rest. He thought Alan would say no, he expected him to say no.  
>"For the sake of our investigation…"<br>So then did he have a plan of some sort? Did he think he could find clues or evidence for their assignment? Before he could voice his thoughts on the matter he heard Sebastian,  
>"Well then, if you would be so kind as to follow me." Giving in he let Alan go and stepped back. He would be able to keep him safe; this arrangement was only temporary anyway. Grabbing his weapon from the ground he moved beside Alan to help him stand and support him while he walked. He could still see pain on his face. It seemed the thorns had decreased their attack on his body but they hadn't stopped yet.<p>

Taking their time they made their way through the streets, Eric's eyes never leaving Alan's face, always making sure he was alright. His body needed rest and he wasn't giving in to that yet. Feeling Alan's hand slip from its place around his neck he watched as he started to fall. Catching him before he hit the ground he tried to plead with him to stop and just rest. He seemed to be having another attack; that made two in the one day, his body couldn't handle the strain he insisted he put on it. He couldn't watch this, couldn't watch him slowly dying, getting worse and weaker with each wave. Together they got him standing again and saw him barely able to pick his legs up to walk, to not let his body go completely limp. Internally cursing that demon and his superior for making Alan go through this in the state he was in he continued with him, letting him take as long as he needed with each step. They were in no rush to the mansion. Alan stopped walking and stepped away from Eric; using his death scythe as support he tried to catch his breath. He needed to rest but he couldn't do it here. Hearing this girl's voice he looked around. It sounded so close yet from his head. Trying to find its location he took a few steps, it was near, they were talking directly to him. Eric watched with confusion as Alan moved around them, it seemed he was looking for something. There was nothing near them though. Worried, he watched Alan walk away from him, he seemed dazed. Catching up with him he got him to look at him, see that he was okay. Was Alan losing his mind? Was this a side effect of the thorns?  
>"Are you okay, what is it?"<br>Just shaking his head he stepped back from Eric. The voice was gone; it seemed to vanish from his mind. What was happening to him? Feeling sharps stabs in his chest he clutched where it hurt hoping to try and ease the pain. With his hands on Alan's arm, trying to keep him near he gave Alan his body to use as support however he needed. Once able they continued to walk together, hopefully they were close. Eric may not trust their hosts but he needed to get Alan somewhere he could rest. Before his body was pushed too far, before Alan risked his life anymore.

Helping getting Alan settled in one of the guest beds Eric stood over him, watching him slowly give in to the exhaustion his body had been fighting for. Seeing the strain in his face start to relax he watched as the thorns finally stopping their assault against Alan's body. Making sure he was asleep, peaceful, comfortable, and everything in between he looked around the room. He liked having an idea of where the enemy could attack them from. Though as much as he didn't trust Grell he saw how much he tried to stay at the center of Sebastian's attention, for once he proved useful. Glancing over the bookshelves in the room he looked over the titles. Needing something to keep him from standing over Alan until he woke up he pulled a thinner looking one off the shelf and brought it to the chair that sat beside the bed. He had never heard of "First Snow" and knew nothing about it but it would hopefully keep him occupied for now.

Eric turned another page in the book he randomly pulled off one of the shelves in the room. He was hooked, something about it made him not want to put it down, how had he never heard of it before? Had Alan? Did he own a copy of it, if not he should. He would probably love it just as much as he was. Alan's eyes snapped opened as him mind flooded with all that took place earlier. Where was he? Seeing Eric sitting beside him he relaxed and smiled a little knowing he was safe, that Eric stayed by his side even after that horrible attack that seemed to never end. Not saying anything he stared up at the ceiling, he didn't remember too much of the mansion once they arrived since he had been too exhausted to even stand but he knew it was huge and looked to hold history in its walls. Admiring the simplicity of the ceiling yet its beautiful design he allowed his mind to wander. How long did he have left? He figured not too much longer now, his body was growing weaker; the thorns were starting to attack and close in on his lungs. Soon they would reach his heart, if they hadn't already. His heart held so much for him and soon it would be pierced viciously. He dreaded the very thought.  
>"Thorns of Death."<br>Eric jumped hearing a voice, a noise near him. Turning he saw Alan looking up at the ceiling, he hoped he hadn't been up too long, he had promised him that he would stay on guard while he slept. Only he had his nose in the book. Maybe he hadn't noticed.  
>"You're awake."<br>Realizing he said that out loud he looked over at Eric before starting to sit up. "Yes." He tried to see how his body was doing.  
>"Is there anything you need?"<br>"No, I am fine." Quickly thinking about it he felt something on his mind. He wouldn't lose it though, his emotions and thoughts would remain in check.  
>"Do you want some water? Or some Brandy?"<br>"I said I'm fine!" Snapping at him he could feel his emotions swirling. He didn't want to let them loose, he had always kept them in locked away. Not trying to upset Alan, Eric dropped it. He was just trying to make up to him for slacking on his guard duty. Letting him be he repositioned himself in the chair and went back to the book, it was getting really good. He was about half way and the climax was just starting. Alan sat on the bed and stared across the room, there was a painting on the wall, so much red, the scene was covered in fire. Being absorbed in it he felt what was on his mind sliding down to his tongue. He must be losing it, he was laughing at his thoughts, only they were the furthest from being funny.  
>"A Death God who controls death, whose heart is pierced by some incurable disease…Thorns of Death…" He felt his body unsure how to handle the truth, all that he had locked away since the beginning was beginning to slip out. He could feel himself becoming hysterical as he struggled to keep it sealed. Eric turned to him and tried to get him not to think about it.<br>"Don't blabber nonsense. Have some rest." Maybe if he took it easy, maybe even slept a while longer his mind would settle down.  
>"A dying immortal Death God…Isn't that funny?" Saying it matter-of-factly he knew it was a contradiction. Yet, it was true, sad but true.<br>"Nah, not that funny." Eric really didn't want to talk about this. He hated talking about the fact that even though Death Gods couldn't die, Alan was. Turning away from him and back to the book he hoped Alan would get the hint and drop it. Besides Alan wasn't going to die, he would get the remaining souls for him.  
>"It's not even funny…"Feeling the tears mixed with laughter as a defense not to cry Alan moved forwards more to free his body from the covers placed on top of him from before. He hated this feeling on his skin, being covered, being buried. He couldn't sit still, his body wanted to run, run away from it all.<br>"Alan." It took a lot to stay even tempered with him but somehow he managed. At the moment he felt like a brother trying to get his younger one to calm down from a bad dream.  
>"How long do you think it takes before these Thorns of Death reach my heart?" His mind wouldn't stop, he had to get it out, his body wanted to keep going. He could feel it take a hold of him, hysterics taking over, he couldn't control anything anymore. His fears, his dreams, everything he had locked away came pouring out as the final seal was broken.<br>"Alan!"  
>"A month? A week? Three days?" He needed answers, needed to know the truth. He couldn't sleep while he didn't know how much longer he had before he his eyes stopped opening. Eric quickly got up to go to help. He didn't want to see him like this.<br>"This case has really gotten to you, hasn't it? Please just rest for today." Almost pleading he tried to get him to lie back down. He was scared, scared over what was happening to him, to the person he loved. Alan refused Eric's hand and jumped off the bed. He needed to move, to know he wasn't yet dead.  
>"Death is too frightening! It hurts! It's painful, suffocating!" Closing himself off from Eric his body turned towards the still faint presence of the thorns near his heart. "And above all…lonely…" He was alone, even with Eric near him he couldn't avoid the truth. Eric wasn't dying, would never die so he had no idea what he was going through. He faced this alone.<br>Going to him Eric placed his hands on his shoulders. He wanted Alan to look into his eyes; he wanted him to see that he was right here for him. Had always and would always be. He wanted to tell him right here and now about what he was doing to save his life. To let Alan know he could relax and not worry about death any longer.  
>"When collecting souls…when I face the dead…I have always been thinking…<em>if only I could share their pain.<em>" Taking hold of Eric's arms that held him he felt able to hold on to his escaping sanity. Eric was still his rock it seemed like. Trying to get him to understand, needing him to understand he watched his face, waiting for acknowledgment. Instead he took a step trying to go after him as Eric let go and walked away. Keeping his distance he took a breath, he wanted Eric to know all of this. He wanted the one he loved to know all he had been thinking, the truth of it all.  
>"But…it was only when I became like this that I understood that sharing the pain of death is nothing but slander! I am happy I got this disease!"<br>Eric stared at the painting on the wall, hearing Alan say what he did bothered him beyond belief. He didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to do.  
>"Even if I can not share their feelings when awaiting death." With a smile on his face he moved closer to Eric, let him see that he really was happy. Eric pulled from his thoughts and walked away from him again, he didn't want to hear it. Getting ready to leave Alan alone with the hope that this conversation would end he was stopped but Alan's words.<br>"I managed to come a bit closer."  
>Alan, this was his fault, this was all his fault. If only he had protected him better, if only he hadn't gotten sick, if only he had gathered the souls faster. If only, because then Alan wouldn't have such thoughts, or such fears, or go through so much pain. But most of all, then he wouldn't say such things. Clenching his hands into tight fists he held back his own emotions. All of them were towards himself, how could they be for Alan, none of this was his fault. All he ever wanted to do was protect him and he failed to do so, even now.<p>

Staring out the window Alan looked out over the beautiful yard Ciel kept here. This place was beautiful even with its' sad history.  
>"Eric, do you know what I dream about at night? Death, how stars are already dead by the time we see them. When I die I want to become someone's star, someone's light. They see us safely home each night, and I want to do that too."<br>Eric sat at the foot of the bed, Alan, Alan didn't know that he already was. Alan had been his light for years, since the very beginning of their friendship. So many times he tried to tell him only to have them fail in this throat. Even now the words wouldn't' come, they were right there only they were stuck in the back of his throat. Along with all the other things he regretted doing to Alan. All he ever wanted to do was help him yet he always ended up hurting him.  
>"All my life, my entire long life I've done nothing but drag along a shadow, a shadow that was nothing but loneliness.<br>Eric turned to watch him, still completely speechless, still unsure if his voice would even work. He wanted to say sorry, say something, anything to make up for being part of the reason Alan felt that he was alone. He loved him, asked him to move in with him, helped him the best he could in everything including a thorns attack but yet the one thing Alan truly wanted he hardly did, especially when he needed it the most. He always left him alone at night, he always broke his promise to stay.  
>"A shadow that was born only from being born alone in the world. I was born alone and I'll die alone. This I know as truth, as my fate and I'm okay with that."<br>Standing, Eric went to him, only to stop two feet later, these thoughts of his couldn't continue. But, he didn't know how to help him. He had caused him so much pain and there was really no way to fix it. He moved back to sit on his previous spot on the bed. His mind held so many deep thoughts of regret.

Alan may have said this, may have believed every word he said yet tears still managed to fall down his face. His eyes had betrayed him just as his body did whenever he had an attack. Eric could hear Alan's tears, not even having to face him he could tell they were there. He was a horrible person, a horrible lover, friend, partner, everything. He couldn't do anything for him, and now, now he wasn't even certain he would gather the remaining souls in time. He couldn't even say "I'm sorry," by saving his life.

Getting the tears to stop, swallowing the emotion he tried so hard to suppress all this time Alan pushed away from the window and turned to face Eric.  
>"I…have always envied you…"<br>Snapping from his feelings of worthlessness he turned to Alan. The least he could do now was listen to him when he talked directly to him. And how could he envy someone like him? Alan was and always would be the better man.  
>"You are better at work than anyone else." He always tried to be as good as Eric was, that was why he always pushed himself so hard in everything he did, he never felt good enough for him. In work and in their everyday life.<br>Turning his whole body Eric watched him, what in the world was he talking about? He was a slacker, a trouble maker, a partier, Alan's help was the only thing that made him look good. It was thanks to Alan and his constant push to stay on track that allowed him to get his work done.  
>"And that's not all. You seem so unapproachable and cold at first, but you were caring for all your subordinates, silently…" He saw it happen with the rookies, they were afraid to talk to him at first but when they did he helped them the best he could. Personally he tried so hard to do the same but he wasn't sure how when the thorns could hit any time and he was still shy around new people. "When they need you, you'd always extend your hand to them."<br>Eric didn't want to hear this. This praise was nothing he deserved.  
>"I have dreamt of becoming Death God like you! But now…why….why?" Tears threatened to take over again. Saying his dreams, the ones he had always strived for felt nice. Turning towards Eric he hoped to see him happy from the given praise only to look away at the realization that he would never become anything like his idol, like the one he loved, all he dreamed of would never come true.<br>"I…" Eric had enough of this, of being given credit when he didn't deserve it, of listening to Alan worship him for things he wasn't. Maybe it was time he told him the truth about himself, about everything. Standing he went to put his foot down on the lies.  
>"I can't do what you can…"<br>"Huh?"  
>"When collecting souls, I can't face the dead. I'm not like you." Moving closer to him he leaned against the other side of the bed, with a slight smile he realized how good this felt. "I have not thought of sharing their pain, nor to approach them."<br>Alan didn't know what to do, felt stupid, and stunned for getting a reaction quite like this.  
>"All I think is the merciless, hatred of death." Moving to the other side of the room he tried to keep an even temper, tried not to get too depressed by all of this.<br>"Eric?" Suddenly worried by what Eric was saying Alan wanted to know that he was okay, what was going on his head. Hearing Alan's worry Eric quickly looked at him hoping he didn't say too much, give too much away. With a quick smile and change of attitude he took his time closing the gap between them. "Alan! Don't think too much and get some sleep already! The sun will rise soon. The night of the Death Gods will end very soon."  
>Looking over at the window he saw the moon starting to fade away by the approaching sun.<br>"Okay." Something was up with Eric but today had been a long day and he was still recovering. Taking his hand he brought him to the bed so they could lay down together.  
>"Come on get some sleep, you need rest."<br>"I don't trust them. I'll stay guard."  
>"Please, we'll be fine. The demon won't do anything. You didn't sleep well last night. I'll sleep better if I know you're resting too. " Comfortable, exhausted, and wanting to shut his eyes Alan snuggled closer to Eric hoping he would relax and rest with him.<br>"Okay then, but only for you."  
>"Thank you."<br>Holding his arms tighter around Alan's waist he pulled him close, allowed his body to become intoxicated by his scent. Maybe tonight was the night he stopped breaking promises. Maybe tonight was the night he starting given Alan his whole self and everything he ever wanted from him.

0o0o0o0

Finally! This chapter, well the second half of this chapter was so hard to write. My favorite scene is when they are together in the room and I was so excited to get to it, until I realized how hard it was. There is so much body language and inner thoughts and gahhhh. Just goes to show how great the actors are and I love them even more for that. Well I need a mental break and my laptop is about to die so I'm gonna stop. Please review and let me know what you think of this. I hope I did justice to this chapter and the awesomeness that is Eric and Alan. See you all soon. Love you.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Alan woke up to the light hitting his eyes and a smile on his face. He didn't want to move, Eric's hands were still wrapped around his waist holding him close. He hadn't woken up to this in a long time. Carefully rolling over he faced Eric to see him sleeping peacefully. He seemed at peace, which he hadn't seen on him in what felt like months. Eric had seemed so tense; he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well for a while. Making sure not to wake or disturb him he just watched him sleep. He felt bad for what happened yesterday and last night. He put him through a lot between the attack and the meltdown. He truly appreciated Eric and all he did for him, between staying with him while he tried to deal with the thorns and while he lost his mind. He also appreciated all he did for him throughout the years as well. No matter what he said he was a great man. Moving a few strands of hair out of Eric's face he saw his eyes slowly start to open.

"Morning, sorry if I woke you up."

"Morning." Pulling Alan closer he rested his face in his hair before closing his eyes again. He missed waking up to Alan's face, why did he spend so many nights away?" Alan had a lovely scent to him, with his soaps and shampoos along with his natural scent, it was intoxicating.

"How are you feeling, did you sleep okay?" Lifting his head he rested it on the side of Alan's to whisper in his ear. He passed out fairly quickly once he allowed himself to last night and while he believed he would have woken up if Alan was in pain he wasn't sure.

"I'm feeling fine and I slept well. How about you? You looked really peaceful. "

"I was, still am."

"Good to hear."

They stayed as they were until they heard commotion down the hall and remembered where they were. It was terrible to know they let their guards down this much. If anyone tried to attack them they would probably get a good hit on them.

"When this is over let's take a day off and spend the day just like this. Or let's take a vacation together. "

"That sounds nice, okay. We've never taken a vacation before. I've always wanted to see Paris."

Seeing the look on Eric's face he smiled before leaning closer to kiss him, "but we could spend a week in London too, there is a lot here I haven't seen."

"Okay, sounds nice. "He would have gone anywhere with Alan, even Paris, though it didn't appeal to him. So long as he could to keep him near and see him happy he was content with the location.

Hearing yelling from the dining room they went to see what it was all about and to take their leave. They may have let their guard down to sleep but they weren't dumb enough to eat anything prepared by a demon. He would probably try to poison them, they could eat in town. Eric could ignore them and head to the door but Alan would keep his manners. Really, they should say thank you to them for helping them make their stay pleasant and allowing him to rest.

"Excuse me, but we really have to finish our investigation real soon."

"Huh? But you just arrived."

Why did he get the feeling they never had many overnight guests.

"I am sorry, missy. The most important thing is..."

"The most important thing is for you to sit down, have breakfast, and stay where you are."

Hearing Sebastian coming down the hall to the dining room Eric stopped. Just great he wanted to leave before he arrived. He knew he should have just kept his mouth shut and kept walking, Alan would have followed. Seeing Sebastian coming towards them Alan quickly moved closer to Eric but making sure his back wasn't towards him. Who knew what the demon would try with his back turned.

"There is no need to investigate any further. The culprit of the serial murder case is...Eric Slingby. "

Alan tried to make sure he heard Sebastian right. Did he just say Eric? Hearing him laughing behind him he relaxed ever so slightly. He may not believe that demons had a sense of humor but Eric would never be a serial killer.  
>"What evidence do you have? Spit it out hottie." Keeping his cool and waiting to hear where this came from he more or less brushed the accusation off. Waiting to hear what he said he moved to the table and got comfy on the chair. He could still see Alan watching him with a confused look on his face.<br>"Evidence you say…roughly counted, there are ninety-six pieces of evidence." Eric saw Sebastian throw a paper on the table, curious and trying to hide his growing anxiety over the conversation he stood up to take a look.  
>"After analyzing the crime scenes and the angles of the victims' wounds in which they were cut. I have concluded the culprit's habits."<br>"Are these all evidences?"  
>Throwing the paper back on the table he let the servants gawk away at them. Things were becoming complicated but he still didn't have any hard evidence that he personally did anything.<br>"It's all bluff and bluster. There's no way one could investigate all that in a single night." He couldn't believe he had started to worry, sure the names on that paper were all victims of his but there was no way even a demon could pin it on him in just one night. He was probably using Grell's past incidences as ground for this claim.  
>"If it were Sebastian it, it's possible." Hearing Ciel he tried not to roll his eyes at him. What did a kid like him know?<br>"Say, aren't you doting your butler a bit too much?"  
>"Doting him? I am simply telling the truth. If it were Sebastian, it's possible. There's no doubt about it."<br>"And this time I received some help."  
>Eric saw the smirk on Sebastian's face even as he spoke, that smug bastard.<p>

Alan and Eric looked to where Sebastian turned to too see Grell coming down the hall, or more like stumbling down it.  
>"G…Grell?" Alan couldn't believe that was actually him and was that woman's night clothing he had on? It seemed everyone was surprised by what they saw as the servants questioned him about it.<br>"Are you alright? You seem hurt!" One of the servants, Alan wasn't sure of his name, ran up to Grell to see if he was okay. Alan was a little scared to know what happened to him.  
>"That was a very hot night. I and Sebby-darling…thrusting passionately spent a sweaty night together!" Yea, why did he know his superior would say something like that. And he didn't have to hear it.<br>"Please do not express yourself in such a misleading way. In order to finish the investigation in one night, I needed the strength of a Death God. That's all."  
>Glancing over at Eric he wondered if he knew what Sebastian was talking about. It wouldn't be above Grell to lie about what actually took place but how could a Death God give a demon their power? Was it something Demons could do or could Death Gods?<br>"You were so rough…Sebastian's entangling voice echoed in the moonless night…_You're useless! Quicker! Is that Death Scythe of yours just a toy?_ Aaahn say it once more!" Seeing Sebastian shaking his head he figured Grell was lying but he still didn't want to hear it. Leaning against the rooms' wall he waited for this little scene to end, he figured Eric did too as he looked bored where he was.  
>"Sounds like a rather pleasant night." Actually if what happened was true in any sense he was jealous. He hadn't spent a night like that with Alan in some time. Maybe tonight he would change that. Alan watched the other and tried not to blush or smile knowing this wasn't the place for such thoughts but, he did miss nights like that.<br>"But you still lack hard evidence." He wanted the conversation to end so he could get out of here. They had wasted enough time, and he was starting to get hungry. Sitting back down he waited, this wouldn't take long but might as well get comfortable.  
>"If you really want to know…then it would be fragrance."<br>"Fragrance?" He saw that catch Alan's interest too, shit. Why did he suddenly not see this going well.  
>"All the victims of the Lace Club appear to have a very grateful relish. The perfume they use is a limited product made by a perfumist in Glasgow." Both tensed as Sebastian moved closer to them though Eric hid it better. Alan wanted to stay near Eric just in case something happened but found himself taking a few steps back as Sebastian stepped between them during his circling around Eric. He needed to know what he was up to and how he could think Eric had anything to do with those deaths.<br>"And the coat you left yesterday night, had the exact scent on it."  
>Hearing that Alan tried to piece the two together, Eric, could he do something like that, would he do something like that? But, could that be why Eric was scared to fall asleep at first last night?<br>"Even if it's a limited product, it doesn't mean that only the victims possess it." That was true, if there were a hundred bottles made of the perfume and four people died while wearing it that really didn't meant anything. It was a sad coincidence and nothing more.  
>"Indeed, however, this perfume's top note is a refreshing citrus and magnolia scent, the middle note emerges an elegant scent of white fern leaves, the base note is the smell of a blooming rose. And that's how it is. The victims have used perfume on their clean skins but then died five hours after that, and that is exactly when the scent of the middle note starts to emerge."<br>"What?" Now he was lost, he remembered smelling something on those girls but he didn't give them anything hours before he killed them. He would take something from them to give it back when they were looking for it but it wasn't perfume and it didn't have any on it. Alan watched Eric, he believed he was innocent but this whole thing was really starting to confuse him.  
>"You're coat, happens to tell the time of the murder; the scent on your coat was definitely the scent of white fern.<br>"Eric?" He felt a stab through his heart as two thoughts ran through his head. Neither was pleasant though, either Eric had killed those girls for whatever reason or he had been having an affair all this time. All those nights, all those nights Eric left him was it to kill or to spend it with someone else? He didn't think Eric could kill anyone not meant to die but then that would mean, God he didn't want to think about it. Eric saw the look on Alan's face, the one that was hurt and needed answers, needed the truth. No matter what he said though he would only hurt him more and he didn't want to hurt him, not any more than he already did.  
>"And moreover, the crime scene is filled with that which Death Gods can't erase no matter what. The scent of Death."<br>Looking over at Alan who waited for him to say something, and seeing Sebastian who had him corned he knew no matter what happened now the truth would come out. Alan needed Eric to say something, he would back him up against the lies Sebastian told, he would stand beside him forever, but he needed the truth first. He needed to hear what had really been going on with him these past months and last few days.

Knowing he was screwed but knowing what was more important he made up his mind over what his next move would be. Laughing at the terrible fate that once again laid before him he hoped Alan knew how much he loved him,  
>"If I keep denying, I'll only smear mud across my own name even more." Taking a final glance at Alan he went after Sebastian, Alan would always come first, he would complete his mission for a thousand souls for him. Alan stayed where he was by sheer shock of what was taking place in front of him. What was Eric doing?<br>"Finally showing your true colors?"  
>"Eric!" He had to stop him, he wouldn't let him fight Sebastian, he didn't want him to risk his life. All he hoped for was to talk. Trying to stop him he was pushed back by Eric, what had happened to the love he loved, to the one he knew? That wasn't the same person he saw now. Why was he doing this? Keeling on the floor he held his chest feeling the thorns starting to creep back up, not now. He couldn't have an attack now, he had to stop Eric. Get him to see clearly again. Using the wall he managed to stand as he fought the pain. He could feel his mind refusing to let the thorns win this time. Even if it killed him he had to get to Eric. Falling to the floor he tried to catch his breath for a moment. Knowing he wouldn't be able to physically come between the two he stood and forced his body to at least take a step, he could get his voice to get the others attention of he had too.<br>"Eric!"

Hearing the plea in Alan's voice Eric couldn't stop himself from being distracted long enough to check on him. Feeling Grell's weapon slice across him he knew that was a mistake, one he always had Alan look out for. Feeling blood start to come from the slash he felt time almost stop for him as his cinematic records began to play. He knew Alan would learn the truth. Maybe it was better this way, though he wouldn't stop fighting for him to live. Alan fell to his knees stunned by what he saw. How could this be true? How could Eric, the man he loved and idolized be a killer? Why would he do something like this?  
>"Why?"<br>Eric pulled back his records forcing the cut to close and the blood to stop. Sebastian would pay for hitting him while he wasn't looking.  
>Alan forced his jaw to close and his legs to stand him back up. He wanted answers, after everything they had gone through together he deserved them.<br>"Why! Why is this happening, Eric!"  
>Damn it, he had to get out of here. He was too distracted by the pain in Alan's voice. There was no way he could defeat Sebastian right now, not like this. Turning to the closest exit Eric made a break for it.<br>"Eric!" Seeing Eric run out of the house Alan ran after him. He couldn't let him get away he had to know the truth about all of this. He needed to know what made Eric betray him the way he did.

Running down the path that lead away from the Ciel's mansion Alan tried to catch up with Eric. He had always been the fastest out of the two of them but he also ran clutching his chest, forcing the pain down. He couldn't give into it yet. Why was Eric running from him too? He wanted to talk to him and nothing more. They were partners, they would always be partners. He would be willing not to tell William, but only if he got the truth from him. Reaching London he lost sight of him, damn it! The city was big, Eric could anywhere and he probably would avoid any place he would try to look for him like the Undertakers. Falling to his hands and knees he tried to catch his breath and deal with the pain in his chest. It didn't feel like the thorns though. This felt worse, his heart felt broken, shattered into a million pieces.  
>"Eric, why? How could you?"<br>Catching his breath he stood and started combing the city for him. He had to find him before anyone else did. He needed him to come to his senses and see that he wasn't really a killer. He needed to save him from the person he was becoming. Checking every side street he knew Eric had to be here somewhere and he wouldn't stop until he found him. Hiding his weapon he made sure not to scare the public with it as he tried to avoid them as much as possible. The longer he took to find him though the more things could happen, the more time Eric had to hurt someone else. His eyes stung and burned but he refused to cry, not that he was sure he would be able to. He had learned that in the past that no matter how badly he wanted to at times his eyes would refuse.  
>"Eric, where are you?"<p>

Eric stayed hidden on a rooftop in the center of the square of the city. He knew he was more exposed up here but he could see everyone, including Alan, better. It was hard not to go to him, explain to him why he was doing all of this. Apologize for hurting him as badly as he did. The look on his face, he couldn't get it out of his head. He had hurt him again and while he knew it would happen eventually he didn't think it would be like this. He didn't want him to find out this way. The only good thing was that he didn't think he knew exactly why yet. So long as he didn't know until he was given the souls it was fine. He was going to do this for him. He messed up his life beyond repair but Alan still deserved his. If he could do anything to repent for the sins he committed in his past, make it up to anyone, it would be for Alan. He could really do something great with his life. He would see his dreams come true, he would find happiness. Seeing a cloaked man come up between two woman he leaned in closer to get a better look. Something about this man and situation didn't sit right with him. Watching him give something to one of the woman and her collapse in his arms he moved to get off the roof. What was the guy doing? He hated the thought but maybe he could use this to his advantage. Maybe he could get some of the heat off him, get the demon to go after someone else for awhile. Still, he wanted to know what this man was going to do with the women. He may kill the pure souls but he was doing it for someone else. He would not let this shady man do something as heinous as rape or sell them. He could never understand how people could do something so grotesque to woman. He thought you were suppose to treat them with respect and take care of them not treat them like property. Making sure he kept them in his sights he followed them across the alleys of town. Deciding what his next move would be. Keeping his focus on them his back stayed towards Alan, this was what it had to be for now.

0o0o0o0o  
>So between work and school schedules updates after this week might be slower. I'm not happy about it but at least days out of the week I'll be out of the house from 8 am to 11:30 pm soooo yea…. I plan to update again before the week is over so I hope that chapter (and this one) are to your enjoyment. Reviews make me ever so happy. Love you!<br>~Femalefighter~


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Eric could hear the women screaming as he entered the warehouse, how terrible. They shouldn't be screaming, who did that to women? There was no way he could let them suffer like this, this man was sick. If it would help his cause any he would kill him.  
>"To think that a man as cruel as you exists." Coming into the light he saw the disgusting sight in front of him. Young woman tied up and crying, yelling for help, how despicable.<br>"You are?"  
>"Poor things. How could you scare woman like this?"<br>"Please! Save us! Please!"  
>Seeing the women running to him, seeing how terrified they were made his purpose here harder. Though, he had to, for Alan, for his happiness. Pulling his blade out from where he hid it he broke the ropes that bonded the woman. Seeing the look cross the lowly males face he dared him to try and cross his blade as he brought to his throat. He would kill him without a second thought if he got in his way. He knew his blade along with the cold, emotionless stare scared him. Lowering his weapon he watched him drop to the floor. Seeing the woman trying to look for their freedom he thought of Alan. He had to do this for him, he had to live, nothing but him mattered in this life.<br>"Don't worry. I won't let you feel the slightest bit of pain when I strike." For some reason he didn't want to face them before he hit them. Maybe knowing they were already scared was what made this harder for him. But if he just walked away then the freak would kill them, either way they were dead. At least by his hand it would be peaceful. Turning, he quickly brought his blade up slashing both of their throats. He didn't watch as they fell, he couldn't.  
>"No way, you couldn't be the real serial killer?"<br>Watching the other examine the two he had just killed he could feel the new souls weighing down his own, along with the ones he had collected before.  
>"Have they died already? Even though you have cut through them, there is not a single drop of blood spilled. This child-like pure white skin, makes the corpse look even more splendid. He really didn't want to hear him glorify what he had done. It was still murder in cold blood. They had wanted him to help them. And while he had he knew it wasn't in the manner they had hoped for. He still felt terrible for it, he would always feel the burden of his actions until he died, and possibly even in hell.<br>"How could this be? The chirping of the baby birds dying…For so long, I have thought that this was true beauty!"

Eric tried to tune him out, he couldn't handle it. This was for Alan, for his happiness in life.  
>"But look! Freezing a pure and beautiful moment for eternity….these adorable faces like it is wrapped by an elegant ribbon…who the hell are you!"<br>This was for Alan, for his future.  
>"One who could perform a murder on this level is definitely not a normal person."<br>This was for Alan. This was for Alan and he had to leave, he had to get out of here and away from the death he had caused.  
>"Eric!"<br>"Alan!" Seeing him entering the warehouse he stopped, how did he find him? He couldn't see him; he couldn't see this, what he had done.  
>Alan couldn't believe his eyes as he saw two young women slain behind Eric. He saw the Viscount with him but it didn't matter.<br>"How cruel…why are you doing this?" Tears threatened his eyes again only to pushed away by his anger. All he wanted was answers, the truth. To know what happened to the man he knew and loved. Looking at the woman's faces he almost became lost in them. That one day that would be him. That that day would be coming soon he could feel it.  
>"What do you want to achieve by collecting souls from young woman?" Wait! No, he wouldn't, why, why would he do that? It wasn't possible. "Don't tell me that…you…" Had he seen it then? Was he attempting it? But it was just a folklore he had to have known that. Eric hated this, hated keeping Alan in the dark, from knowing the truth. He wanted him to know that he loved him and did this only for him.<br>"Eric!"  
>Bolting for the back exit Eric tried to get away, tried to hurt Alan enough where he would stop chasing after him. Get them to stay apart until he had finished collecting the souls he needed.<br>"You'll understand once I have collected the souls."  
>"No! You'll answer me! I won't stop, unless you tell me the truth." He wasn't going to let him go so easily again. If this was what Eric wanted then so be it. They would end but he still deserved the truth. They would be enemies from this day on unless he got what he wanted.<p>

Turning, Eric saw the hatred in Alan's eyes. So this was it then. Fine, but he would still save his life. Seeing Alan coming forward with an attack he dodged, he didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to fight him. Watching Alan prepare for a second strike he tried to come up with a way to block and hope for him to understand he wasn't going to hurt him. Seeing he wasn't going to get it he decided he wouldn't use his blade to strike. As he brought his blade up to defend he saw Alan trying with all his strength to break through. He saw the thorns get him before he felt the pressure against his blade weaken and heard him gasp. As his hand went to his heart he punched him across the face. He didn't want to, especially at the moment, but he knew it was the only way for Alan to believe it was over. It was the only way he would understand.  
>"You became weaker, because of the Thorns of Death…"<br>He couldn't watch Alan in pain on the floor, his heart wanted to go to him. It wanted to comfort him and help him relax. But he couldn't do that, not anymore.

Alan laid on the floor as he had landed after Eric's punch. Thanks to the thorns he couldn't breathe and managed to lose his footing after the hit. Eric had actually punched him but not only that he was walking away. What had happened to the man he loved? This wasn't the man he knew, when did everything between them change? How did he not see this coming? Seeing Eric take one last look at him before taking off he tried to stop him. He didn't want it to end this way.  
>"Eric!" Attempting to stand he made it no further than his knees as the thorns stabbed his heart. Lowering to the floor on his own he felt tears come from his eyes. He couldn't believe this happened. He didn't want to.<br>"It seems that he has escaped." Hearing Sebastian's voice he forced himself to sit up and dry his eyes before he saw him. He was alone now and at the mercy of a demon, he had to be strong. With his weapons help he stood up and followed Sebastian out. He didn't like it but he had no choice but to partner up with a demon for the time being.

Well this really sucked, why did both Eric and Alan have to be on assignment together. And why did it have to be taking so long. He was bored here; sure he had William to talk to but at the same time not really. And he had no party buddy to either get drunk with or make sure he got home in once piece and without one of them he couldn't hold any group dates. They really needed to get back here soon. Following Will from his office he tried to look interested in work.  
>"This is weird. Alan Humphries missed the deadline to hand in the report. What in the name of God happened to him?" Alan never handed in a report late in all the years he had worked here. The thorns could have gotten to him but Eric would have helped him and if he was killed then they would have seen it on at least one death list or by Eric coming back and telling them.<br>"Could it be that Grell Sutcliff has caused trouble again?" Ronald figured it was probably from Grell, it had to be. Both of them were strong and Eric would protect Alan from anything. If he had an attack then he would drop everything to help him until he was back on his feet. That could be why no report had been turned in yet, if Alan was bedridden until the attack passed then Eric wouldn't work on it. He wouldn't leave Alan's side. Work would be the last thing on his mind.  
>"The possibility exists. If it goes on like this, the Death God Dispatch Society's name will be tarnished. If so, we have no choice but to work overtime."<br>"Eh, you're kiddin'!" What, that couldn't happen, he hated overtime no matter, what the reason. He had a social life, one he enjoyed and wanted to keep. I must finish my work on time and then leave. Today I am going out with the secretary departments…" Looking through the current Death List book he saw something he had never seen before. What was happening? "...Eh, wow! What's this! The names on the Death List are totally increasing!" Quickly going to Will he went to show him, see if he could explain how it was possible.  
>"The Death List?" That couldn't be good, this worried him greatly. Taking a look he saw Ronald was right, name after name was being added. What in the world was about to happen down there?<p>

Alan awoke feeling stronger than before. Looking around he remembered he followed Sebastian back to Ciel's mansion after his fight with Eric. He had been allowed to rest for awhile and only woke up due to hearing Ciel being informed of the situation. He minded that they were going after Eric but he knew they wouldn't listen to him. Plus, he was a guest here; he had no say in what they did. But he had to be the one to reach Eric first. He had to talk to him, see if he couldn't get him to stop. Deep down he knew the man he still loved was in there. Even if they weren't together anymore he still loved him and he would save him no matter what he had to do.  
>"The opponent is a Death God, huh. That is pretty troublesome." Seeing Ciel past his door he followed behind him also seeing Grell with them. He felt slightly better being here knowing Grell was here and would hopefully fight alongside him if the need arose. Hearing the maid yelling for Ciel he stopped to see what was going on. The servants all seemed excited by it.<br>"An invitation…for what? _Druitt's Opera_. That sick minded Viscount? I have no time to waste on him." That name, why did that name sound so familiar to him?  
>"Presenting the Most Beautiful Opera in the World, organized by the Viscount of Druitt. Entry is limited to woman and children, men are only allowed entrance as escorts."<br>"What is this about? Only woman and brats!" That's no fun." Grell sounded disgusted by the thought.  
>"Only women?" Alan got a horrible feeling about this Opera in the pit of his stomach. Woman, the Viscount, why did this bring terror to his entire being?<br>"Alan, what's with that look? Upset by the rules to the invitation too? I mean really, what kind of party is it when children are allowed?"  
>"Let me see the invitation!"Moving away from Grell he went to the maid to see if he could see it for a moment. The Viscount, woman, opera, why did he feel death approaching this opera?<p>

"Oh, artist of Death, for your sake, I have prepared you the best stage." Eric stood on the balcony of the Viscounts mansion. He had told him about needed young women, pure young woman and he happily agreed to help him. Soon, Alan would get his souls soon. He was close to it now, so close he could begin to feel it. In two days the nine-hundred he needed he would have and Alan would be saved.  
>"To think that a murderer would have a supporter, how ironic."<br>"You will show me right? The most elegant massacre opera."  
>Eric just watched him. It was sickening how excited he was over this idea. He probably would have easily collected the thousand souls by now and wouldn't have thought twice about it. That must be what truly separated to two of them at this point. Good, he didn't like being considered the same as him, he hadn't lost his mind. He hadn't chosen to kill for beauty or whatever he called it.<p>

Ronald looked over the Death List again; this was so odd, so strange. He never saw anything like it before.  
>"All the people on the Death List will all die at the same place. I wonder whether it will be caused by human or nature. Anyway, it seems that at one place, a huge amount of people will die."<br>"And where is this place?" This wasn't good. Whenever a large amount of humans died demons were sure to appear. They were already down three reapers; depending on what happened and how many demons arrived they could face trouble. He wasn't even thinking in overtime he meant in being out numbered.  
>"Wait for it…"<p>

"It's him!" That's how the name sounded familiar; he couldn't believe he didn't see it sooner. "The name on this pamphlet, Druitt, is the man with whom Eric cooperates!" The Viscount was the man he saw in the warehouse with Eric. He didn't know how long they had been working together but this letter proved they were. Eric needed souls and if his hunch on why was correct then he needed a thousand. The Viscount knew many people and was known to be a lady's man and womanizer; he could easily get them together. They were the perfect team. Oh no, this couldn't happen. All those innocent people. He had to stop Eric from doing this. He had to get to him before it was too late.  
>"What?"<br>"I see, the stench of danger is definitely overwhelming."  
>"The destination of the opera is Crystal Palace and that is where we shall go then Sebastian. We must gain entry by any means. This is an order, kill the Death God Eric!"<br>"Yes, my Lord."  
>No! They couldn't kill Eric! He had to stop them, had to stop Eric before they got to him. Before he made the biggest mistake of his life.<br>"Allow me to come to. I must speak with him at any cost. We were partners, he was my friend, I must get to him first. I need to be the one to stop him!" Alan got Goosebumps from the stare Sebastian gave him but he remained strong. He had to, for Eric's sake.  
>"What do you say young master, shall we bring him?"<br>With a quick side glance he was relieved to hear Ciel give him the okay.  
>"Fine, he could prove to be of some use in drawing him out. Just keep an eye on him so he doesn't cause any trouble."<br>"Yes, my Lord."

"The destination shall be Crystal Palace."  
>"Fine. I don't care where it happens so long as people are there." Eric felt restless and noticed Alan hadn't left his mind since he last saw him. He hoped he was alright. He just had to hang on a little longer.<br>"Of course people will be there. Beautiful woman flock to all my parties, this opera shall be no different."  
>"Whatever." He wondered if Alan was still mad at him for what he did. Part of him didn't think so but he had never treated him so badly before. He still felt horrible for punching him intentionally and while he was already weakened from the thorns.<p>

"The place where a huge amount of people will die is Crystal Palace!" Ronald showed Will the location after finally finding where it was listed.  
>"We will be going there then. We must make sure no demon touches a single soul."<br>"Yea I know. Should we tell the others?"  
>"We'll go alone, if we need backup we can send for it."<br>"Of course sir." Hopefully his three superiors were alright and would find out what was going on without being caught up in it. If they learned of what was going on than they would probably lend a hand. They had a lot of souls to collect for just the two of them and they didn't know what they were going up against in terms of what would cause these deaths.

Both Alan and Eric laid in the beds they had been given in their hosts mansions. Neither could sleep as they thought about the other. They missed them and couldn't sleep not knowing if they were okay. Alan refused to believe that they were over. They couldn't be, not when they needed each other now more than ever. He could feel it, he didn't have much longer. He could die any day now and Eric made a silent promise to him to allow him to die in his arms. To die feeling him close. Maybe if he reminded him of that promise they could work this out. Eric hoped Alan was taking it easy. He seemed to be having attacks more frequently now. That wasn't a good sign; it meant the thorns were close to piercing his heart. Alan had to hang on, he was coming to save him.  
>"I love you." Both whispered to the empty side of the bed as they stared at the space where the other should be. Where they truly belonged.<p>

0o0o0o

Two chapters in 24 hours! Go me! Can't see me writing again until Thursday so another update shall be either then or Friday. Love the reviews and I love everyone reading this.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Alan sat in the bed he had been using while staying at Ciel's mansion. He was waiting for Sebastian to get him, he told him to let him help any way possible. He would endure anything so long as he could get to Eric. The plan sounded strong enough though it seemed out there. He couldn't believe Ciel was for it, it wasn't something he saw him agreeing to right away. Hearing a knock he saw Sebastian at the door with that smirk on his face, one that he didn't trust, one that sent chills down his spine.  
>"We are ready for you. Do you still plan to do this? My master has agreed to pay to have this done for you."<br>"Of course, I want to. I need to talk to Eric. No matter what that entails. I have to get to him. And I'll be sure to thank him properly for all of his help." Following Sebastian he was lead to another room where a woman was waiting for him. She was human, that was good, though she had this odd look in her eyes. What was she going to do with him?  
>"Oh my! You're quite nice looking. With a face like yours I could do so much. I know the perfect thing for you! I have always wanted to put it on someone but they weren't perfect for you. But, you, you are and you have the right body for it too."<br>"Woah! Miss, what, what are you doing?" He was supposed to get fitted and he knew it didn't involve touching his butt. What was he getting into?  
><em>*Eric, I'm coming. Please, please wait for me.*<em>

He hated waiting; it was something Eric had never been good at. He couldn't even collect souls with Sebastian probably on the lookout for him. He spent hours in the Druitt's library reading anything he could find. He tried to get his mind from thinking about Alan every second. It didn't stop it completely but it helped. He really wished he could check on him somehow but Sebastian would know the second he got close to the mansion. He had never been able to not keep an eye on him before and he didn't like it at all. He needed to know that Alan was doing well, wasn't being pushed too hard and that he wasn't having an attack. And if he was then he wasn't along. He didn't deserve to be alone during them knowing how much pain he went through each time. He just had to hold on a little longer and then he would be free. Free of the thorns, free of pain, of suffering and free of him, of the pain he had caused him throughout the years. He knew it wasn't much after all he had done to him but it was the best he could do. Alan would be alright without him, He was smart and strong, he would a make a life without him and it would be great. His forever would be beautiful.  
><em>*Alan.*<em>

What had he done? What had he agreed to? It was a good thing he was getting ready alone, this was beyond embarrassing.  
>"There he is! Are you ready my dear? Go ahead and undress and I'll help you put on the first layer."<br>"Thank you ma'am but I can do it myself."  
>"No need to be embarrassed my dear. I have already seen you in your undergarments remember."<br>He remembered very well, that was why he didn't want to do this with her here. He never knew tailors or designers were supposed to be so touchy. He had been to tailors before for his work suits but no one ever touched him for measurements the way she had. He wasn't terrified of her but she definitely weirded him out.  
>"Do you need help undressing?"<br>"No! I mean no thank you. I'm quite alright thank you." Jumping behind a screen he started to undress. This was to get to Eric, to stop him from making a huge mistake. He just had to grin and bear it for now. Thinking about Eric and the happy memories associated with him he stepped out for her to help him. Their fate and future together would be decided soon.

Eric stood on the balcony of the Crystal Palace watching the guests start to arrive, so many women, pure young women. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening. All of his months of trying and failing to collect the thousand souls that he needed and now here he was. This was it. Alan could be cured tonight if all went well. What he never thought possible at one point was now coming true.  
>"Tonight's the night Alan. All of this is for you, for you to have a wonderful life. To become the Death God you have always wanted to be." Unbelievable, his mind was struggling to wrap around the truth of what was going to take place. He was in awe over everything past and present.<br>"Ah here you are. Why do you not change into something nicer? This is an opera after all." Hearing the Viscount behind him he saw him step on the balcony to join him.  
>"I've told you I'm good. I am more comfortable like this."<br>"Wow! Visitors sure come in an endless stream!" He stood beside Eric and watched the women entering every few seconds.  
>"Luckily, you managed to get this many people here." He really hated the Viscount getting so close to him. Had he never heard of personal space?<br>"Oh! Artist of Death! For the sake of your art, I am willing to do anything without regret. Even if I have to reveal my nude body…"  
>"That's not needed…" Oh god, he never wanted to see that. The only body he wanted to see naked was Alan's. No one else's would be as beautiful to him.<br>"Eh, what's today's performance?" Perhaps changing subjects would get that horrible image from his mind.  
>"You don't even know that? <em>The Recalling of Withering Dreams!<em>"  
>"<em>The Recalling of Withering Dreams<em>…huh…I and that guy…when Alan and I went on a mission for the first time…purple flowers were blooming in the garden of the person whose soul we were to collect. Those flowers' name was Erica. That guy told me that…"Erica" in the name of flowers' was…"  
>"Eric? What's wrong? Eric!"<br>"Ah…nothing…" He hadn't realized he went into his own little world until he heard the Viscount saying something directly to him. Knowing he said what he did out loud he walked away to escape some of the embarrassment.  
>"Soon I will be able to enjoy the theater of death created by you. I have invited the people from the high society too. If only Mrs. Burrell could come too…"<br>"High society?" How dumb was this guy? He explained the situation to him more or less and high society would only bring trouble. "So you invited the Phantomhive family too?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"Ah well. Even if a demon comes to mess around. I will not be stopped."  
>"Eric, where are you going?"<br>He had no desire to stay outside with him any longer and the night was about to start he should get ready.

Alan stood in front of the mirror after the dressmaker left. He looked ridiculous. How could he have agreed to this? There was no way he could leave the room dressed like this. But, he would, he had to for Eric's sake. This was the only way he could get close to him without him running away. If he was to go through with this then he would go all the way. Lifting his chin, keeping his held high and with a certain sense of pride that came with learning to walk in heels he headed to the door.  
>"Sorry for the wait!" Steeping into the main hall he noticed everyone was staring at him. He wouldn't blush. "Everyone, are we all done preparing? Let us go!"<br>"Wait! Why must you go as a woman as well?" Hearing Grell's question he now understood the eyes. It made sense though, the only one he told his idea to was Sebastian.  
>"I must talk to Eric at all costs. For that I am willing to endure any humiliation!" Clutching the railing he made his way down the stairs, he hadn't practiced that. Though, in making his thoughts clear he jumped off the steps before he reached the bottom. He wasn't sure what just came over him just then. Perhaps it was to prove his manhood while wearing such a thing.<br>"But there is no need for you to endure this humiliation!" Grell was in shock over seeing Alan as he was. He never would have guessed he would do such a thing. And he was slightly jealous by how good he looked as one, though of course he was prettier. But now who was he supposed to go with, he could not go without a man on his shoulder.  
>"It doesn't matter how many "women" we have. And this attire suits you better than Mr. Grell."<br>"I'm killing you!"  
>Alan had no idea how to defend himself dressed like this. Why did Sebastian have to provoke him, he wasn't wearing this to look better than Grell. He tried to pry Grell off him, he did he do that without damaging the outfit.<br>"Hold on! Then there's even less reason for me to go like this, is it not?"  
>Grell let him go it seemed hearing what Ciel said, he was grateful.<br>"Is that so? I have not foreseen that everyone would just agree on this idea so easily, so…"  
>"You!"<br>That explained a lot now that Alan was hearing this. Obviously the butler was keeping things from his master.  
>"But that comes out wonderfully. Now that we have enough female roles, the three of you can come too."<br>Alan saw how excited the servants become. Obviously they were hoping they could.  
>"Hump, these incompetent guys…Oh well, bringing more men in battle won't hurt. Let us go."<br>Following the others he tried to keep up. This was it, things were about to get underway.

Pulling up in front of the place this opera was being held Alan tried to keep his jaw closed. This place was stunning. He wasn't here to admire the beauty though he was here to find and stop Eric. Taking one of the servants' hands he was helped out of the wagon. Somewhere inside was Eric, he could feel him being pulled inside by his heart. Stepping inside he was in awe, if the outside was beautiful then the inside was gorgeous. Walking ahead of the others he started getting a feeling of dread again.  
>"It seems like there are a lot of visitors and many beautiful women."<br>This was bad, he could almost smell the approaching death in the air.  
>"Is any of these people the target? Anyhow, can he still act without being noticed with so many people here?"<br>That's right no one but himself knew of Eric's motives. Only he knew that no one woman but every women here was in danger of being killed.  
>"A Death God will find his own way. We must not let our guard down."<br>"Eric." Where was he? He needed to find him quickly. As the lights started to fade he broke away from the others. Now was his chance to look for him without anyone else getting in the way.

It sounded like the show had started as he could hear singing coming from where the others were. How he wished he could sense where Eric was. He knew he was running out of time before he got started. Why did it have to come to this? Why did Eric insist on fighting for him? All he ever wanted was to enjoy their time together. Now they regarded each other as enemies. He never wanted this. Heading back to the main hall he followed this horrible feeling he got. He wasn't sure what it was for, Eric, or the death he was about to cause but something told him to get back to where the others were. Now was his last chance to stop him. There! Just below him, in with the dancers! Time was just about up. He had to stop him right now.  
>"Eric!" Looking for the closest way down to the floor he hurried to him. He couldn't let Eric go through with his. Getting to the dance floor he tried to find him. He couldn't see him anymore with the women dancing around him. Where was he?<br>"Eric? Excuse me." Bumping into someone he quickly apologized before looking around again. "Where are you, Eric? Eric?" There were so many people here. As the singing stopped he used the momentary pause in dancing to pick out Eric better. He had to be close. Everyone including himself crouched slightly as it sounded like glass shattering around them. This was it; he had run out of time to stop him.  
>"The recitative for the everlasting dreamland is about to start next. Are all the present baby birds enjoying it? You must all remember this beautiful scenery of tonight's last…this century's most beautiful Massacre Opera!"<br>If the Viscount was near then Eric must be too, that was probably his cue to begin.

Eric stepping onto the main dance floor as people started to panic around him. Perfect, they could come to him. As each woman got near him he cut them down before they even saw it coming. This was going better then he planned.  
>"Eric!"<br>"Alan!" He stopped in his tracks seeing Alan in front of him. And what was he wearing?  
>"Why do you keep sinning? Why….WHY!" He struggled with himself over this, seeing the pain on Alan's face, over the heartbreak he saw on him. He never wanted to cause more pain to him, never wanted to hurt him, nothing would change the damage he had already done though. Backing up he tried to get away from him. He had to; he couldn't look at what he had done to him anymore. Turning he stopped seeing Sebastian there. He was corned by Alan and Sebastian. He couldn't run away anymore.<br>"A demon in servitude? Compared to an opera, really suits your taste better, no?" Looking at Alan he debated if he could run past him, probably but did he really want to.  
>"I am honored to hear your praise."<br>"Why would you, who possess such great powers, still follow orders around? Screwing the contract then snatching souls away is not impossible either, is it?"  
>"It is impossible. After all, I am on hell of a butler."<br>That was it, his choice was made he would go through Sebastian to escape here. Running towards him he brought his weapon to the ready.  
>"You're very interesting Sebastian."<br>"I'll say the same back to you."  
>Eric would defeat him, this plan was ruined, he had to regroup his thoughts. Defeating Sebastian though would allow him to make sure he wasn't stopped again.<br>"Sacrificing all around you, ready to sacrifice even yourself, just for the sake of one person. You would dirty your hands with sins. How could I expect you to understand my hard work?"

Alan was stunned by what Sebastian said, how did he know all of this? Did Grell tell him? But if so then how did Grell know? He couldn't watch this anymore. He didn't want Eric to get hurt because of him; he didn't want him to die because of him. Coming between the fight he hoped Eric would stop. Only he jumped out of the way before his blade hit him. What happened to Eric? He wanted the man he loved back.  
>"Eric…After all…you…"<br>"Hi! Thanks for all the hard work here!" Both Eric and Alan looked up as they heard Ronald's voice on the floor above them. What was he doing here? This couldn't be a good thing.  
>"Eric Slingby. Honestly, you surprised me. This is not a problem that can be solved by simply firing you anymore. You are the Fallen Death God. I shall have to erase both you and your name from the Death God Dispatch Society's register."<br>"Wait! I can explain!" Alan ran towards William, they couldn't kill him. This wasn't Eric's fault; he was just trying to save him. Eric was a good person! He watched as Ronald and William jumped past him to get to Eric. No! They had to stop; they needed to see the truth. Alan watched from above as William said something to Sebastian and went after him instead. Looking again though he saw Ronald going after Eric, why? They were friends, why wouldn't they let either of them explain? Going to try and stop Ronald knowing he was still the better fighter he stopped feeling the thorns tightening their grip on his heart. He wouldn't let them get to him this time, he had to do this. Catching his breath he ignored the throbbing in his chest as he watched the events unfold from where he was. Seeing Eric coming towards him he stood to get him to stop this and allow him to help. Instead he saw him go towards Ciel, what was he doing? That would help nothing.  
>"I really don't like doing this but I am borrowing your Young Master for now."<br>"Let go of me! Sebastian!"  
>"Young Master!"<br>"Eric!"  
>Running after him as they left the hall with Ciel he tried to catch up with him. He needed to get out of this outfit though, he needed his movement back. Now it was his turn to stop Eric, he was really the only one that could. He knew the only way how to. He had the key to stopping to him, he had always had it, the others had just never allowed him to use it before.<p>

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Hurray new chapter. Next covers my other favorite moments where I get misty eyed and fan girly. Reviews are amazing as always. And will start next chapter before work tomorrow. Love you all.  
>~Femalefighter~<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Alan figured he knew Eric's next move from here. Ciel was just his tool for escape, he wouldn't harm him. He would probably tie him up to keep Sebastian off him longer but that was all. He probably wouldn't even use the front entrance but a window off one of the top floors to escape via the roof. That gave him plenty of time to get out of this dress and back into normal attire. He was glad he brought his things with him when he left the mansion. Running to the carriage he came in he burst the door open to see his clothes folded nicely on the seat where he left them and his death scythe in the corner as best it fit. Perfect. Getting this dress off as quickly as possible he was never so happy to have pants on. He never wanted to have to wear something like that again. Dressed he headed to the roof, to Eric, he would get the truth from him, or he would die trying.  
>"I'm coming for you Eric; I won't let you run any longer."<p>

Eric opened the window from the fourth floor after leaving Ciel in the basement. He was unharmed just tied up so he couldn't get in his way for a few extra seconds while he made his escape. He couldn't hurt him because not only would it not help his cause but he helped Alan by taking care of him these past few days. Climbing to the roof he debated which way to go, which way would help him escape faster yet stay in the shadows better. Choosing the side that brought on different levels from the design crevices he took off. The sooner he got out of here the better. Running down and across he got closer and closer to the edge, only a Death God could pull off and survive the jump he was about to do to reach the roof of a far off neighbor.  
>"Eric!" His body froze as he heard that voice from behind. He wasn't directly behind him but he had been spotted. Damn, he should have known Alan would find him so easily. He knew him the best, always had.<br>"You were collecting souls! Is that right? Please answer me." He saw he had stopped running from him, he looked almost defeated as he saw his shoulders slouch, maybe he would listen to him for a change. "Why are you collecting souls?" Not getting an answer or any form of acknowledgement he made his way down to him. It didn't look like he was going to start running again. "If you need souls that badly then…then take mine too!"  
>Eric turned to see what Alan was planning. He didn't like what he had just heard. Seeing him looking at his blade and eyeing it more then he liked he panicked.<br>"Alan. Don't be stupid! Stop it!"  
>"It doesn't matter; my life won't last for long anyway."<br>Angling the blade to his chest, moving his jacket so it would have less to go through he aimed for his heart.  
>"I told you to stop!" He felt Eric grab the handle and try to pull it away from him before it got closer to its destination. "If you die, then all I have done up till now will be meaningless!" Realizing what he just said his eyes went wide, what did he just do? Any chance of Alan accepting the souls had just vanished.<br>"Eric…" Alan felt his grip loosen, his jaw opened wide. He thought so but to hear him say that shook him to the core. Giving up his hold on his weapon he fell to his knees.  
>"I have been thinking about this…so it is like this after all…" His mind flooded with all the facts it came across in the past of why Eric would kill, all of the signs he would attempt something like this. Eric dropped Alan's blade as he turned from him. He couldn't face him with him now knowing the truth. He already felt guilty for all he had done and for failing Alan and now he could tell he had failed him again. Alan would never forgive him, would never accept the souls in exchange with living.<br>"Only with a thousand souls, the deadly curse can be lifted…against the price of a foolish sin…" Standing he pieced everything together; the memories of learning of this legend came flooding back. Somehow Eric had learned of it as well and decided to attempt it.  
>"I have heard of this rumor. By collecting a thousand pure souls, one could escape from the fate brought by the Thorns of Death, but that is only folklore!"<br>He had to be wrong, Eric wouldn't risk everything, risk being together on something that may not even be true.  
>"If only I could obtain one thousand souls, Alan!" Moving to Alan he placed his hands on his shoulders, griping him tightly, trying to get him to understand why he attempted this, why he had to try. "Then you can be saved!" He needed to understand that he couldn't let him go, he couldn't live without him, he needed him in his life forever.<br>"But it's just a folklore!" Alan couldn't understand why Eric would do something like this. They loved each other sure but for things to come out like this, it only bought them each more pain.

"Even if it is only a folklore, it is still the only way I know how to save you." Letting go of Alan he moved away from him. Maybe it was time to finally start telling him the truth of how he felt towards him, why he loved him so much, why "I love you" wasn't strong enough. Alan tried to go to him only to stop unsure what to say. He didn't know what to do. He saw Eric walk away but he didn't seem to be leaving.  
>"No matter how slim that chance is…I will take it…"<br>"Eric…" Alan watched him from a far as Eric started to finally open up to him in ways he never had before. This was the man he had seen every time he looked into his eyes. He was finally coming through to the surface.  
>"Eternal life…" Glancing over at him he knew Alan could see the sadness his soul held for this life. "Our eternal life…is pure darkness, after so much effort. After so much effort I have finally found…a tiny ray of light!" Eric stood near the edge of the roof and looked at the city below him; saw that even that was shrouded in darkness. Alan couldn't believe what he had just heard. Was he Eric's ray of light that he talked about? Could he do that for a person? He wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let him go.<br>"Eric," He knew what he had to do now, his heart and mind were made up, and none of this could continue. "I won't let you kill anymore…" The words hurt him maybe because that meant that all he would be slated for was death, or maybe because he couldn't believe he was actually saying them to Eric, or maybe because he couldn't guarantee Eric would accept them. Eric hated walking away but he had to. He tried to get Alan to understand but he just wasn't able to get through to him. Get him to see that he couldn't live without him, especially an eternal life.  
>"But…" He stopped hearing Alan's voice reaching out for him. He could never walk away when he spoke to him. "Until the moment comes that my flame of life extinguishes, please let me stay by your side! That flame of life will become a mere imprint, even after I have disappeared, it will still illuminate your road ahead."<br>"Alan…" His heart fluttered by Alan's words, he still wanted to be with him even after all he had done. How could he have ended up with someone with such a big heart? With someone as perfect as him?  
>With a smile he moved closer to Eric, they had spent enough time apart.<br>"Eric, you know the rules of the Dispatch right? Rule number one; Death Gods must wear glasses. You and me, we're exemplary Death Gods, we obey the rules." Bringing his hands to his glasses he struggled with himself to go through with this. He wanted Eric though; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. As much as he loved his job he loved Eric more. With that decision he took his glasses off his face.  
>"W…why? Why would you oppose the Death God Dispatch Society too?" What was Alan thinking? He loved his job, he had a perfect record there, and no one would stop him from working there again. He had plans to achieve so much he couldn't just give them up like that. Not for someone like him.<p>

Looking at his glasses in his hands, at what he had really done, he smiled at Eric, letting him see he was happy with this choice. He would have done it sooner if Eric had told him all of this sooner.  
>"This case has not ended yet, you are still my partner."<br>"Alan…" Those words, he never thought he would hear Alan say that after everything that he done to him. After telling him everything Alan had a bright, beautiful smile on his face, even as he could tell he was slightly unsure what to do next. All Alan did know what that he was happy and he had Eric in his life again.  
>"I really can't see anything without my glasses on. Even your face is blurry." It was funny thinking about it, he couldn't see Eric's face but he had never been happier now that Eric was back in his life again. It was a good thing he had committed his face to memory so even if his eyes made him blurry his mind would see him perfectly. Yet he still thought that he could put these back on and let everything resume as it was.<br>"I have not been seeing too clearly either…not seeing how stubborn you could be." With one hand he easily, without a second thought removed his glasses. He had Alan, he needed nothing else.  
>That was it then, they were in this together, until the very end. "Well then, let's go." With no more doubt over anything else, knowing he wanted nothing else but Eric he ran past him to where they left their weapons. He wanted to leave this place before anyone found them and got in their way.<br>"Me, who is covered with sins…can I really be at your side?" Alan was still so pure hearted while he was a sinner. Whether the killings had been for good intent or not the facts were the same, he was a murderer.  
>"Didn't I say so already? I can't see anything without my glasses. All your sins up till now, are invisible now."<br>He felt his lungs take a deep breath with Alan's words; he was actually being forgiven for all he had done by the only person he needed it from. He didn't hate him the way he thought he would. He really wanted them to stick together. Following Alan they gathered their weapons and met on a flat piece of the roof. With a look at the glasses they were still holding they knew what they had to do next. While Eric could say good-bye to the society he knew it really meant something to Alan, it wasn't as easy for Alan, who had hopes and dreams at that place. Alan could still feel doubt in himself over what he was about to do. There was no turning back once this was done. He would spend the rest of his life on the run with Eric as an enemy from the society. But, even so, he had Eric in his life, anything else wasn't as important. Going into his suit pocket he pulled out a white handkerchief and unfolded it to place it gently on the roof. Together they took one last look at their decision, the future they were stepping into and what they were leaving behind forever. For once you quit the Death God Dispatch Society you never went back.

Eric could see the memories of his entire time there flash before his eyes, the gratitude he felt for the council on letting him live and join and how he felt when he first met Alan, how his life had forever changed after that first encounter. Alan looked over at him worried for him knowing how hard it had been for him to join the society and stay in it. Seeing each other's eyes and knowing in their hearts that this was what they wanted they silently okayed this. Alan placed his down first before he had any more time to debate this and hopefully encourage Eric to do the same. That they could get through the coming future together. Eric watched how hard this was for Alan, brave face or not. He really hoped he was worth everything he was giving up. Ready he looked over at Eric and smiled just enough to show him he was ready to go and that this was what he wanted. Together they stood and took their leave off of the roof and their old lives. Following Eric they made their escape through London and the headed to the start of their new life.

Ronald and William looked for Eric together worried about a sneak attack. Searching the building in its entirety they made their way to the roof, it was very possible he had escaped or was trying to by going from roof to roof. It was a Death God's fastest way to move from place to place.  
>"Hey Will, do you think Alan is with him? We haven't seen either of them since they ran from the ballroom. Maybe Alan got him to stop this."<br>"It is possible and if so then both may be our targets."  
>"But William! Alan has done nothing wrong. I can't treat him as an enemy!"<br>"Then he shouldn't have sided with Eric. Tell me Ronald did you know that they were together, that they had a relationship outside of plain partners, that they were living together?"  
>Ronald stopped walking and put his head down. "I did sir."<br>"Then how can you be certain that Alan wasn't in on the plan from the start?"  
>He couldn't believe his ears, Alan would never agree with what Eric had done and seeing him tonight in the ballroom, seeing the pain of what they had come to do to Eric he knew Alan had only recently learned the truth as well.<br>"Alan would never take part in what Eric did, he would never approve. Sure they were together but they were separate people. Alan was still Alan."  
>"Oh? And is that what you call separate?" Following the line Will's death scythe drew he saw a white cloth in the distance. Stepping closer he noticed what laid on top of it, two pairs of glasses were resting on top of it, oh no, what had they done?<br>"They made their decision Ronald and now they shall live with it."  
>"But, why?" He was on his knees blown away by what he saw in his hands. They had run away and quit the society. They were ex-Death Gods and Eric was still a wanted criminal. Alan was an enemy too now for joining him.<br>"Come, we still have work to do." Taking the pair still sitting on the cloth William folded them up to stick in his inside coat pocket.  
>"Wait! Can I hold on to Alan's?" Maybe if he found him he could try to get him to change his mind.<br>"Do as you like but we must go before they get even further from us."  
>"Thank you sir."<br>Sticking them in his coat pocket he followed behind William. He knew he would have to kill one of his friends; he didn't expect or want to kill both.

Eric held on to Alan's hand as they made their way through the alleys having stopped running on the roofs awhile ago. He figured William would soon realize they were no longer at the Crystal Palace and they could be spotted easier up there.  
>"You doing okay? We have been running for a few hours now. I know a place we can hide for the night. It's only a little further."<br>"I'm okay, don't worry about me." He was sweating more than usual but he felt alright. Using the shadows brought on but the night they ran down the back alley ways of London. Both hoped to leave the city tonight but it wasn't going to happen. Tomorrow at the earliest if anything.  
>"There, right over there!" Eric pointed to an abandoned warehouse and had Alan go first through the broken basement window. Having him follow he led them up to where the manager's office used to be above the main work area.<br>"We should be safe here for the night."  
>"Are you sure about this? It seems too out in the open."<br>"See this," Going through a door to a private bathroom he opened a small hatch on the floor. "Leads to the sewers."  
>"Then why don't we,"<br>"Not tonight. Rest for now. We'll be on the move all day tomorrow, don't push yourself. Who knows when we'll be able to really rest again."  
>Reluctantly he agreed and sat in the corner of the office to catch his breath and wipe some of the sweat of his face. Eric sat beside him and held a towel out for him.<br>"How did you find this place?" Taking it he was happy to not use his jacket sleeve anymore.  
>"Complete accident. One day I was working and came across it. There are boxes filled with blankets on the main floor. I'll grab us a few in a minute."<br>"Oh, okay." Blinking he tried to get some of the blurriness to go away, this would take some getting used to.  
>"Are you sure about this, about running away with me? You could always go back. It's not you their after."<br>"I want to stay with you." Resting his head on Eric's shoulder he was happy he could do this again. "I am glad we're together again. I hated staying away."  
>"Me too. I never wanted to push you away I just didn't want to involve you and I was scared you would hate me once you knew the truth."<br>"Eric." Lifting his head he faced Eric, got as close as he needed so they could see each other clearly. "I could never hate you. I love you."  
>" I love you too. Thank you for coming with me."<br>Moving closer he kissed the lips he had missed for days. He held the body he hadn't felt beside him in so long. He was never walking away from him again. They would live on the run, their life would never be the same but they were together, happy, and in love, they would have a great life.

Together they had gone to the main floor and gone through the boxes to find things to make a bed out of. They needed to stay on guard but both needed sleep so they could last the long trip in front of them. Their best bet was to leave England all together but to do so they had to do it by foot. They less people they came in contact with the better.  
>"Alan, I'm starving, are you?"<br>"Sort of. I was kind of just not thinking about it and waiting until tomorrow. We were taking the woods right, I was sure we could find something to eat there."  
>"Why don't you make a place for us to sleep and I'll get us something to eat. It probably won't be fancy but it should hold us over."<br>"Are you nuts? Eric, people are looking all over the city for you."  
>"I know that but I can slip in and out in no time. Promise."<br>"You better come back, do you hear me."  
>"I will. See you in a few." Slipping Alan a kiss he ran out through a side exit, he knew a few places nearby he could get some things from.<br>Alan could feel worry start to wrap around him not having Eric near him. Reckless idiot, why did he have to fall in love with someone with no brain? Heading back upstairs he moved the desk over to the side so they could sleep in the center of the room, luckily for them it was the biggest space and was furthest from the windows so no one could see them from outside. Still he covered them up not taking any chances. Twenty minutes later he heard footsteps downstairs. Grabbing his scythe he waited by the door, hopefully it was just Eric but he didn't want to take chances. Seeing the office door open he braced himself for the possibility that he would have to attack.  
>"Alan, hey, I'm not about to step on you am I? Shit, why is so much darker in here or are my eyes really that bad?"<br>"Eric? Its fine, come in. I covered the windows to shield us better." Stepping in he closed the door and saw Alan behind it.  
>"Dinners ready."<br>Putting his weapon down he sat on the floor with him to eat. He may have been trying not think about it but he was starving and wasn't passing up the chance to eat.  
>"I found this votive candle too, should give us enough light to not trip over each other but not let others know we are here."<br>"Okay."

After they had eaten they moved to the bed where they stretched out as best as they could. Eric forced Alan to rest first while he would stay awake and on guard in case they had to take off but he found it hard to keep his eyes open with Alan back in his arms. He felt bad that he had dragged Alan through the mud with him, that this was their life now but Alan seemed happy and willing so maybe it wasn't so bad. He had really missed him these past few days and to have him back in his life was worth so much more then what he ever had if he had stayed at the society.  
>Hearing Alan start to mumble something in his sleep he held him closer and whispered that everything was alright in his ear, he wasn't going anywhere, he would keep him safe.<br>"I love you, I'll never let you go."

0o0o0o0  
>So wrote most of this chapter at 11pm last night. My handwriting was crap and I so many spelling and grammar issues but I wrote it for a good couple of hours. I'm thinking the next chapter will be the last. So thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot and talk to you all soon.<br>~Femalefighter~


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

A/N- This is it folks, the last chapter. It's been a fun ride you guys and I'm going to miss it. I'll write more in this fandom as soon as I finish my other stories, or at least a few of them

Alan woke up to see Eric comfortable and passed out beside him. He was happy he had slept well it looked like, he wanted to bust him for not being on guard but he didn't want to bother him. Let him enjoy the state he was in, they may never get another chance to do so. Walking into the private bathroom he was surprised yet happy to see that the water worked so he could wash his face a little. He planned to enjoy this peace and quiet while he could as well. He would miss this but so long as he had Eric it would be fine, they would be alright.  
>"Ugh my head."<br>Hearing Eric in the other room groaning he went to see what was wrong.  
>"Is your neck sore too? I mean damn, I can't move it."<br>"You are so spoiled. We'll have to go soon but come here." Walking to him he stood behind and started rubbing his shoulders and neck.  
>"When did you learn this?"<br>"…hmmmm…I don't know it just seemed like the right thing to do for you. Does it feel good?"  
>"It does, thanks."<br>"No problem."  
>"We should get going, before the sun gets too high, before we feel safe. This is the last time I'll ask. Are you sure you want to runaway with me? I know you had dreams and desires for the future at the society."<br>Stopping Eric's massage he leaned over to look him in the eyes.  
>"Eric stop asking. I may have had those desires when I was starting out but since meeting you, since being with you all I want is to stay by your side. You are my future and the only one I need. No matter what that entails. I don't care if we spend forever running as long as I'm running with you."<br>"…Alan." He really met and fell in love with the greatest person in the world. "Come on, let's go."

Erasing any trace that they were there they took to the streets knowing it was easier to hide in the shadows. Eric grabbed Alan's hand to make sure he didn't lose him. They had a long way to go before they left England for France for a boat towards America. That seemed like the best place to go into hiding. The further they got from England the better. They wouldn't be safe completely there but they could probably have a better life. As soon as the London Dispatch realized they were no longer in the city they would put a kill on sight order out to the other dispatches around the world. That's why he wanted to make sure Alan was a hundred percent about this.

Alan knew he was slowing down and was having trouble breathing. Trying to grab Eric's attention he realized he couldn't hear him. Forcing more air than his body desired to muster he called his name.  
>"E…Eric…"<br>Hearing Alan he saw him struggling to keep up.  
>"Alan, are you okay?" How stupid could he be? They had been going for awhile now. He was probably pushing his body more then he should. Going to him they stopped.<br>"I…I'm fine…I…just need to…catch…my breath…can…we stop…for a second?"  
>"Of course." In the middle if the woods he helped him under a tree so they could rest in shade.<br>"Is it an attack?" Moving to him he watching him carefully, Alan looked exhausted while he wasn't even winded.  
>"No…I guess…I'm not as strong…as I used to be…"<br>"Don't say that, you've been sick. I'm going to find you something to drink and maybe some lunch for us. You stay here and take it easy."  
>"Don't do anything stupid."<br>With that he watched Eric give his famous trademark salute and smile and run off. He didn't like this idea much but Eric was Eric and would do his own thing regardless of what he thought. Keeping his senses and guard up he closed his eyes and gained a mental picture of what was all around him. He found this to be calming as well as a great way to catch his breath. He wouldn't be completely calm until Eric was back but he would enjoy this and keep tabs on where he was.

"You cannot say I'm not the greatest ever, that I don't know how to take care of you." Opening his eyes he saw Eric holding fresh fruit and live fish.  
>"Holy! What did you do jump in the river or something?" Standing he went to help him out by taking some of the fruit from his hands.<br>"I'm hungry and found a river only a little way from here. Drink from it before he head off again. And I have a sword point and plenty of sticks. As you'll see there is not a drop of water on me."  
>"Okay." Grabbing an apple he bit into it while he got firewood so they could cook the fish. Good to know they wouldn't have to do what humans called "roughing it."<br>"How are you doing?"  
>"I'm good. I told you I was just out of breath. I'm sorry I'm slowing us down."<br>"Stop it. You're not doing anything. We have been on the move for hours. We needed a break."  
>"How much further to the coast?"<br>"Another day at least. We could get there sooner if we took main roads but the woods are safer."  
>"I understand, just curious." Gathering what they needed they got a fire started and put the fish over it. They ate in silence knowing the fire was already enough to blow their cover. Erasing their camp they went to the river to wash up. Alan inhaled its water not realizing how thirsty he was. Giving Eric the okay that they could go once he felt ready to explode if he drank anymore he felt Eric take his hand and held on to it tighter. He was making sure he didn't let go.<p>

Seeing the moon high Eric looked for a place they could rest for the night. There would be a lot of Death Gods out tonight, probably William, Ronald, and Grell looking for them at the very least and those that worked the night collections. Not seeing a cave or anything close to that they stopped under heavy tree coverage.  
>"We'll stop here for the night, rest for a bit."<br>"Who do you want to guard first? I can so you can sleep for awhile."  
>"No go ahead I'm still pumped so I'll go first."<br>"How about we both lay down and the first one asleep can sleep while the other guards?"  
>"Sure." Wanting Alan to rest he agreed and fell into the dirt bringing Alan with him. Resting his head on Eric's chest they both looked up at the night sky. This was the first time they had seen so many stars. They could in London but they were always working or it never dawned on them to lay together and watch the sky. It was beautiful and they couldn't believe they had waited so long to do this. No wonder Alan dreamed of them, how could you not.<br>"Asleep yet?"  
>"No. And I won't fall asleep first."<br>"Stubborn as always."  
>"Do you think we'll always be scared to sleep? That if we both sleep together we'll be found?"<br>"No, I figure we'll have to be on guard for a few months maybe but after that we should be alright."  
>"You know what I wished I could have done before we left? Talk to Ronald, let him understand that you're really a good person, that us being friends, that you both being so close was because you are a good person."<br>"I'm sure he knows. I would bet William gave him the order to attack me. But Al, I killed a lot of people you have to understand that. I'm not that great a person."  
>"But, you did it to try and save me. You tried to save my life. An evil person would kill only to help themselves. And…you called me Al." Pulling away he used his hands to sit up a little and look into his eyes better.<br>"Huh?"  
>"Just now, you called me Al. You've never done that before."<br>"Oh, sorry, I must not be thinking properly from this view. But, there is something you should know. Ron, Will, they were right to hunt me down." Sitting up he put a hand up to stop Alan from interjecting his thoughts. "I started to save your life sure that much is true but only because I…I can't live without you. Once you entered my life I knew I could never be without you. You may have accepted the fate the thorns gave you but I couldn't. I killed all those women because I was selfish, because I always need you right here."  
>"Eric. You're wrong."<br>He was surprised by that, he figured Alan was disagree or say something but not something so blunt.  
>"You are not evil. You love me, that's what your actions show. Had things been reversed and I did that for you then would you say I was evil?"<br>"Never."  
>With a smile Alan moved in for a kiss proving his point. He could feel evil a mile away and he knew all he ever felt from Eric was love. Grabbing Alan's waist he gently pulled him closer. With their feelings for each other flowing through them they proceeded to make love under the starlight.<p>

With the first rays of light hitting their bodies they woke up still wrapped in each other. Quickly throwing on their clothes they went back on their journey to the border of England. They could probably cross by noon if they moved fast enough, meaning they could be on a boat for America by tonight. They wouldn't be safer on one and actually they could be in more danger there but it was their only way to America. They couldn't swim there like they could to France. Eric tried to go under his average speed for Alan's sake but being so close he could tell he wanted to go faster as well. Seeing he was keeping up well and looked to not even have broken a sweat they increased their speed.  
>"We're close, just a little further, think you can make it?"<br>"Yea, go on ahead I'm right behind you."  
>"No, we cross together."<br>"Eric. Go, your faster, go make sure we can get a boat."  
>Seeing a strange look on Alan's face he wondered if he felt something. Had they been followed so far out?<br>"Can you take them?"  
>"Long enough for you to make sure we can get out of here."<br>"Only stop running if they attack you. Once out of England they can't touch us."  
>"Right. Now go."<br>Seeing Eric go faster he slowed down a little. He didn't want to slow him down because he wasn't feeling so great. His chest was starting to become inflamed. It wouldn't be long now until the attack came, he hoped if Eric could secure them passage to America he wouldn't slow them down too much. He got lucky that Eric believed they were being followed.

Eric ran on ahead checking behind him every few seconds trying to make sure he could keep an eye on Alan. He could get a boat to cross to France or they could swim. It wouldn't be easy but they could do it, Alan on his back or not, wait a second, Alan! Taking a look back his ear picked up Alan and his short agonized gasps for breath. Seeing his hand go for his chest and him fall to his knees he knew what was going on.  
>"Alan!" Turning he ran back to him as fast as he could to help him. "Are you okay?" Crouching beside him he made sure Alan was still with him, that this wouldn't be as bad as the one he faced earlier in the week.<br>"I am fine. Just let me rest for a bit." He didn't want to, they were so close but his body couldn't move. His heart, it felt like someone was holding it, squeezing it. Not now, this couldn't be the end for him. As the hand squeezed tighter he leaned forward trying to get the pain to stop. Eric grabbed Alan's shoulders tighter struggling to watch this. He was so close to saving his life, from stopping his pain. Hoping to move him out of the open he helped him to his feet and brought him under the covers of some trees.  
>"Eric. You will definitely….continue murdering." Keeping a hand on Alan he heard Sebastian's voice, so he had been following them. He must have been waiting for the right moment, only a demon would use their enemies' weakness as the perfect time to attack. Watching Alan in so much pain, seeing him dying in front of his very eyes he knew Sebastian was right. He couldn't stop killing yet, not while Alan was still sick, not with him writhing in pain.<br>"A pitiable Death God repeating his lies and sins."  
>Hearing Sebastian taunting him he stood and stepped away from Alan. He could feel a presence behind him, one he searched for for months.<br>"Just to save one single soul." Lifting his blade from the ground he took a few steps away from Alan. He didn't want to leave him like this but he had to. He was going to break his promise; he tried to tell him he couldn't be trusted. He was known to go back on his word, it was who he was. It was something he could not change. With gritted teeth he turned to the souls being dangled in front of him. He would never stoop so low but he was running out of time. If he didn't do this now then Alan would die, he could not let that happen. Alan had to live on, he had live on!  
>"An approaching demon following orders just to devour one single soul." Facing the souls in front of him he tried to get the demons voice out of his head. Hesitating at first he stepped back unsure about them. Seeing them readying to attack he gained back his senses and lunged for them.<br>"Even if you struggle with all your power, there is no exit in this labyrinth." Cutting down soul after soul he was surprised there was still more. They kept coming one after another; them along with the demon speaking about him he tried to stay focused on the task at hand, on getting these souls for Alan. He had to tune out the demon and him speaking of a prophecy all Death Gods knew and feared from when they were children. A prophecy he was fulfilling, there was a reason this cure was a legend. A reason he now saw but couldn't stop, he had to see this through to the very end.  
>"In a thousand nights, a thousand souls radiate a light piercing through the dark, revealing the whereabouts of the Death God who relinquished his divine name."<br>He knew now that he never had a chance to escape, everyone knew where he would be right from the start. He had been such a fool to try, and an even bigger one for dragging Alan with him.

Falling he needed to stop, there were so many souls and his own was already struggling with all that was happening around him. It was trying to take in these new one which only weighed it down, weighed him down.  
>"I am sorry, Alan…I just can't give up yet…I just can't give you and your life up!"<br>In his mind he believed that if he begged for his forgiveness maybe he would understand, maybe his own soul would be able to finish the job he had set out to do. He had to, he had come this far, he had done enough damage he had at least complete the task.  
>"But have you realized, Eric? After so much killing the scent of death around you grew thicker and thicker. However, Alan never gave his consent, so all you have done until now holds no meaning!"<br>How, how did he know so much about what he was doing?  
>"In a thousand nights, a thousand souls. The Death God who fell into hell suffers, whose body is burned and scorched in the flames of sin." That was right, that was his fate from the very beginning, but, he believed that would happen from the sins he committed even before this. It was a fate he had accepted long ago. Seeing souls coming towards him Eric quickly go to his feet and prepared to go for them. No matter what he would see this through to the very end. Feeling them surround him he tried not to feel overcome but their presence. He was exhausted though and he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take of this.<br>"Alan will probably never forgive me…But even so...! This is my way to show my friendship."  
>"Friendship? Something like that is futile. The only thing trustworthy is…a contract!"<br>Watching Sebastian cease the coming souls he stood. This ended now he could feel it. Sebastian would die here and he would finish the collection of a thousand souls right after. He would succeed, no matter what anyone said.

"Sebastian Michaelis!"  
>"It seems that you have already collected a great quantity of souls. At the massacre opera at the Crystal Palace only, you have collected more than seven hundred souls. Very soon, you will be able to obtain one thousand souls."<br>"Yes, thanks to you that is. I only need one more." Stepping closer to the demon he couldn't figure out why he was wasting time.  
>"Well, that is wonderful. That, by believing in fairy tales, your great effort in collecting souls will not go to waste. Well then, Eric. If you die here, then the last soul will be obtained."<br>Seeing Sebastian coming forward Eric brought his blade up to halt his attack from hitting. This had to end here, the demon would die and then he could freely collect his last soul. With Alan out of it trying to deal with the thorns he could get it and be saved. He could do it, he had to, he was too close, had come too far to lose it now. Eric stumbled back as he was kicked in the face by Sebastian, reminding himself to focus he got his head back in the game. He couldn't afford to  
>become distracted now. Readying himself he went on the offensive for round two.<p>

As he felt Sebastian's knives cut across his stomach he knew he had to end this soon. He was exhausted from his bout with the souls and with fighting him. Rolling away he stood feeling a knife imbed itself in his shoulder. Pulling it out he laughed at the situation, at this predicament. He couldn't stop the chuckle that left his lips though the thought itself wasn't funny.  
>"I appreciate your thoughtfulness but I am afraid that it won't do."<br>"How so?"  
>"Because my soul is already sordid like hell!" As much as he wanted to be, he could never be Alan's last soul. Not after all the sins he committed throughout his life. With that thought he knew he couldn't die here. He had to live so he could collect the final soul. His death now would be meaningless. Getting his second wind he went after Sebastian determined to win. There was no other option for him, not even death.<p>

Alan could feel the thorns letting up ever so slightly. It seemed he still had some time left here. Hearing Eric grunting, breathing heavy, he looked around where he was to see where it was coming from. Seeing him in a fight against Sebastian he panicked, they had been found. It may not have been the society but it was just as bad in his book. Watching him not doing so well, seeing Sebastian landing so many blows he tried to help only to feel his body force him to stay put. Eric needed his help though and what was he talking about, his soul being as filthy as hell? He wasn't, no, he wouldn't still be fighting for him would he?  
>"Eric!" He watched as Sebastian's knives went through his stomach, this had to stop. Eric had to stop fighting for him before he was killed. They both shouldn't die. Seeing Eric fall to his knees he knew he needed to get up and save him. He could be the only one die, Eric had to live on!<br>"You…have broken our promise? Have you continued sinning for my sake again!" He promised, he thought he meant something to him, he thought he would keep his promise if made to him directly.  
>"I only need one more…just one more! Just one more soul and I could save Alan!"<br>"No!" Seeing Sebastian going in for the kill and planning to use Eric's own weapon to do it he mustered his strength to stop him. He wouldn't let Eric die. Running into Sebastian he knocked him back and got him to drop the weapon before collapsing. His body hurt all over. His heart was being tightened even further by the thorns.  
>"Alan…" Eric watched him try to save him, watched him push himself even harder as the thorns ravished his body.<br>"Why are you still saying things like that?" Tears started to fall from his eyes. Why couldn't Eric understand that he didn't want to be saved this way, all he wanted was to be with him until he died. That he would watch over him from heaven, forever and always. Even if Eric loved again he would always love him.  
>"Stop it already!" He was begging for this to stop. He didn't have long and he didn't want to spend what was left watching Eric kill or be killed.<p>

Eric saw something over Alan's shoulder. A ray of hope had appeared it seemed, the thing he needed for all this stop had arrived.  
>"But there is a soul right here…"Standing he stumbled for his weapon. He wasn't going to let this opportunity pass him by. Alan watched him as he stopped his tears. What was Eric talking about, what was he going to do?<br>"Ciel Phantonhive, your soul is…"  
>Alan realized what Eric's next move was. He couldn't kill him, he was just a boy, he had a life to live. He couldn't let Eric kill anymore, no matter how close he was to saving him. Knowing he was faster and closer he pushed himself up to his feet to get Ciel out of Eric's way. Pushing him out of the way he felt Eric's blade cut across his back, felt it cut his lungs, his heart. His body went limp and started too crumpled to the floor. Eric felt satisfaction knowing he had succeeded until his eyes saw it was Alan who had been cut. His body froze seeing what he did, seeing who his blade had cut. No, no, no, what had he done! Catching Alan as he fell he brought him to the ground. He had to hold on. He couldn't' die, not like this, not by his hand.<br>"Alan…Alan?...Alan!"  
>No he couldn't…he couldn't die, he couldn't.<p>

Alan looked to see Eric's face in front of him; he believed he could feel his hands holding him. Smiling he tried to let him know he was happy, he didn't blame him for this and that he was glad Eric allowed him to die in his arms. Just as he promised him back home. He knew the man he loved was still there all this time, that he would remember the promise they had made to each other. As his life began to fade, as Eric's face became harder to see he wanted him to let him know that he would be alright, that they both would. Before he could though he felt his eyes become heavy and records begin to leave his body.

Eric watched Alan's face, see the light begin to fade from his eyes. His was…no…he didn't want to believe it. He felt his records surround them. One danced in front of him. It must be Alan's most cherished memory. As it began to play he felt his heart shatter. How could he have been so stupid all this time? _They stood together on their way back to town after an assignment. It was their first assignment together.  
>"Wow, that's a scary face you're pulling, Alan."<br>"Yeah…the dead this time was still very young, he would have been able to fight for his dreams. 'If you go to that place, you will die in an accident.' If only I had told him, so than he…"  
>They stopped as Eric could hear the emotion building in Alan's voice. Turning to him he saw he turned away so they weren't facing each other.<br>"Are you crying? Alan!"  
>Trying not to make eye contact with Eric he fixed his hair and turned away a little more. He didn't want Eric to get upset with him for crying again, he was just starting to possibly like him. His eyes went wide as something caught his attention.<br>"Flowers? Those are Ericas."  
>Following Alan's eye line he noticed the flowers off to the side.<br>"Erica? That's what they are called?"  
>"Yes. In the language of flowers, it means solitude."<br>"Solitude?"  
>"People are always in solitude, from birth till the moment of death…I understand very well, no one should interfere with someone's death."<br>"You as a death god should not be so sentimental."  
>"Eh?" Turning he noticed Eric besides him staring at the flowers with him.<br>"What solitude? Aren't these flowers blooming splendidly? It might be that one is alone when born and when dying, but like these Ericas, there will always be other flowers blooming beside them, for all eternity."  
>Alan opened his mouth to say something only to be stopped as it was caught in his throat.<br>"Mister. Eric…you really like to act cool, huh?"  
>"You might want to try the same someday." Both started laughing as a breeze ran through them.<br>"The petals are soaring! It's almost like snow."_  
>"<em>Yes, indeed."<em>

As the memory began to fade away Eric was brought back to the reality of Alan died in his arms. Dead by his own sword, his own hands. Seeing the small smile Alan had given him before his life ended pushed him to the edge.  
>"Alan!" What had he done? How could he have not stopped the attack from hitting him? Tears flooded to and down his eyes as he tried to get him back. Dropping his head he cried for a moment on Alan's chest. Bringing his eyes up he looked at the still face of his love. The eyes that no longer shinned with a beautiful soul inside of it .<br>"If you die…then for what…then for what have I dirtied my hands with the murders of one thousand innocent people?" Words came from his mouth but not the ones he wanted. His mind kept repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you, I didn't want to, I could never, I'm sorry." Dropping his head again he only lifted it after hearing clapping from behind.  
>"Congratulations. You have finally obtained one thousand souls. No…obtained one thousand meaningless souls."<br>Turning towards Sebastian he watched him though he refused to leave Alan's side. He didn't want to hear that creature's voice. If he had not interfered they would have escaped the country, Alan, he would not have tried to stop the fight, he would still be here.  
>"You demon." Going back to Alan he tried to handle the grief that poured through him. His everything was dead. Dead by his hands, how could he have been so blind to let that happen?<br>"The souls you have collected, might have been able to save Alan from the Thorns of Death, but, it won't revive him. All you have done until now is void of any meaning; it is all but a bunch of worthless souls."  
>Closing Alan's eyes so they could let him start his eternal rest he said good-bye to the man he loved. His life was now over too but he doubted he would ever see him again. Alan would go to heaven without a doubt while he would go into the deepest pits of hell for all of his sins. And he deserved to after all he did, after murdering his love.<br>"Just like Alan said, there is no need to grieve, because the fate of the two of you is the same; Death.  
>"Kill me, demon." Stepping towards him he knew there was nothing to live for anymore. He lost everything the second Alan's life ended. "Please…I beg you to kill me." He didn't care he was going so low as to beg to a demon, he just didn't care to live any longer.<br>"To go through all the trouble to grant a death-wish. Unfortunately, this kind of philanthropy is not akin to my nature. Young Master how should I proceed?"  
>"There is no need to ask, kill him."<br>"Yes, my Lord."

As he waited for Sebastian to come after him he noticed he went for Alan's Death Scythe. What was the demon planning?  
>"Alan's Death Scythe?" Was he going to kill him with his scythe? It did seem only fair that he die the same way Alan had.<br>"Is there a problem?"  
>"No."<br>"To not let your filthy blood dirt Alan's Death Scythe or to end your life with Alan's Death Scythe?"  
>"I don't know." His mind was already gone, his body just wanted to die already.<br>"Oh? You don't know?"  
>"I really don't know anymore. Everything of everything up till now has been pointless…" Tears started to fall again as he thought of Alan's death.<br>"Is that so? Then."  
>Feeling Alan's scythe slice across his back he noticed his body felt instantly lighter as he stumbled and his life began to end. Falling he noticed his head fell on Alan's lap.<br>_*Alan, I love you.*_

Alan sat in complete darkness waiting for his time to come to be judged. He hoped Eric was alright, that he understood that he didn't blame him for what happened. He was actually grateful he died by his hand and not the thorns. It was less painful and much quicker. He hadn't suffered at all. A light hurt his eyes even as it shone from behind him. Still, even as it bothered his eyes he found himself turning to it. It was how he ended up here, it would nice to talk to someone else for a little while they waited.  
>"E…Eric?" He quickly got to his feet as he believed he saw Eric come through. Was that really him? But how? Why was he here?<br>"Alan…Alan I am sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you."  
>"Eric!" Running towards him he threw his arms around his neck pulling him close.<br>"I love you Eric, I was never upset. And you kept your promise; you let me die in your arms. Thank you."  
>"Alan. Thank you." Wrapping his arms around him he held him tightly never wanting to let go. As the doorway opened for their fates to be decided Alan moved his hand down Eric's arm to grab his hand refusing to never let it go no matter what that meant. He would never be alone and he would never let his love be either. Even if that meant he would go to hell he would be alright, they both would. From this day on they had forever with each other, the forever they had always wanted.<p>

Ronald walked out from the briefing of the situation with William about Eric and Alan. He couldn't believe they were both dead. The report said Alan had been killed by Eric's hand and Eric by Sebastian's. He wanted to know how. Eric would never kill Alan, he would never hurt him, so this didn't make any sense. But to find out he would have to ask Sebastian and the society refused to do so meaning he would never find out. Still, both of his closest friends were dead. And considered traitors to the society, and they had denied them a remembrance of any sort. Saying it would only glorify their actions.  
>"William, sir. Their house, will the society go through it for clues as to how this all happened?"<br>"No. The case is closed since they are dead. It will probably be sold along with what it contains."  
>"Can I move into it then?"<br>"What? If you want. You just have to fill out the paperwork."  
>"Thank you sir."<br>Pulling out Alan's glasses he promised both of them he would never forget that they were the greatest people, the purest people he would ever know. No matter what the society believed he knew the truth about them. He wouldn't actually move into their old place but he would keep everything preserved for all eternity. They would live on in his heart and he would watch over their things so their memories were never tarnished. He hoped they were together and got the forever they had always hoped for. The one everyone else had.

0o0o0o0o0o0

That's it everybody. Chapter 27, the finale of this story. I loved writing it, I loved crying bunch of times during this chapter, both in writing and typing it up, and proofreading it. Hope everyone enjoyed it as well. I'll do some one shots or short stories I think while I finish some of my other stories in other fandoms before starting something new. Love you all. Talk to all soon.

~Femalefighter~


	28. Song List

Song List

I don't usually do this but for some reason I want to share my playlist with you guys. Maybe because some are just too perfect not to.

Trying Not to Love You- Nickelback

Holding On to Heaven- Nickelback

Don't Let it End- Nickelback

A Thousand Years- Christina Perri

Humming Bird Heartbeat- Katy Perry (I am almost ashamed this is on here…almost)

I Will Be- Avril Lavigne

The Reason- Hoobastank

I'll Cover You- From the Musical "Rent"

I'd Come For You- Nickelback

Only One- Yellowcard

Monster- Skillet

Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne

Right Here, With You- David Cook

So what do you guys think? Any songs that you hear and think of them, they don't have to be attached to the story?


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